Life is hectic

On many fronts, this week has been very hectic.  It has been full of all sorts of activity.  In the midst of it all, I just keep to my working motto - Do what you can.  I really can't fix or control everything.  As my week developed and responsibilities (not so much the tasks) mounted, I can see need for a more personal, underlying motto - Take care of Number 1!  That is a line from my great mate, Ray, and how true!  As he will say - no one else will. 

This week is but a sign of things to come, or that is my take as I have begun in a new role at Caritas Thailand - Executive Director of NCCM (National Catholic Commission for Migration).  It is a big ask for me as it takes on demanding and challenging responsibilities.  Why did I take it on when there were good reasons not to? 

Firstly, I can't just say "No" to such requests as one can't be too protective of oneself and simply deny a call to take up further responsibilities.  That would seem to go against the whole philosophy of Christian mission and service.  Then there is a good friend who has worked in this area here and his advice was that I would be good for the task and make a good contribution.  So why not take it up, even if reluctantly? 

I must say that I hate the title.  So personally, I am cutting out the Executive part as it all sounds too much.  On a more serous level, I see already how the task takes its toll on me as by the end of the week I found myself getting irritable with different ones and their requests or actions.  This is not good.  What is this a sign of?  I am simply human and doing my best.  So why worry?  Or is it about how I always wish to do my best when with others, nearly be perfect all the time.  This is not a healthy way to proceed for no other reason that I am only human and this is not possible.  What I also see is that maybe the irritableness is my personal business and I deal with it.   What is happening through it is that I am being more assertive and expressing my opinion as I have less time just to be nice.  So why not?  Well, I don't want to become someone else.

That is it!  In all, be true to self.  Be who I am and not what I become because of some role or task.  Don't let outside forces, tasks determine who I am in the world or allow them to make me other than who I am.  I determine who I want to be and that is it.