It is a Miracle, not Magic

"No. Our Lord expects works from us! If you see someone sick whom you can relieve, never fear losing your devotion; have compassion on her; if she is in pain, feel it as if it were your own, and when there is need, fast so that she may eat, not so much for her sake as because you know your Lord asks it of you. This is the true union of our will with the will of God. If you possess fraternal charity, I assure you that you will attain the union I have described."  St Teresa of Avila   

  

Two weeks after my knee operation, I see my doctor who happily tells me that all is well.  From now, I am just to keep walking, with a walking stick, while doing my simple exercises.  I was left in shock.  This is real?  It was never meant to be this easy and quick.  What happened to the pain?  Where is this leading?  

On hearing this good news, I thought it is not supposed to be like this.  I was in shock with such an immediate, definitive and positive call by the doctor.  I was now thinking - What am I to do to get fully functional?  This was too good to be true.  It just seemed all too much to deal with so quickly.    

So I discovered that one can be just as shocked with good news, as with bad, leaving one just as dumbfounded.  No matter what I feel, no matter the shock, this is real; it truly is.  I just have to take it in.  Is it that we can more readily accept bad news than good?  I posit that my shock may be due to instantaneously being placed in a new life category.  This good news moves me immediately from being a patient to being discharged back onto the streets, into real life.  Being a patient has its benefits, but no more.    

Now this is frightening, this is challenging, for there are no longer excuses around a bad knee, for being too comfortable.  I just have to take responsibility and get on with life, doing what it takes to be once again up and moving.  This takes risks; this takes hard work; this means taking a leap in faith.  This is a reminder that I have truly experienced a miracle, not magic, for a miracle involves sacrifice and faith, not some magical formula.  Life is a miracle, living in union with God, our companion, for which there is no magical escape hatch leading into fantasy land.   

I Believe in Miracles

For sometime, I have had a bad right knee, which has needed an operation.  As I was approaching that ultimate end, I was praying for a miracle that my knee would heal, so that I would not need that operation.  Well, I have now had my operation.  The next day, when the doctor came and got me up to take my first step on a walker, I cried as I realized that the operation was the miracle. 

This struck me immediately and powerfully as, for the first time in 18 months, I could take a step without the pain that had been with me for all that time, and was getting worse.  I knew it was the amazing care and skills of doctors, nurses and chaplaincy team that was the medium for my miracle.  I thank them and just think they are all just amazing people, heroes. 

All along, my journey with my knee has been a spiritual journey.  I know that God has been with me through it all, and remains with me.   All along, I aimed never to complain, reminding myself that I am not suffering in Gaza and praying for all those suffering so terribly in war and conflict throughout our world.  God has been and is my constant companion, transforming my suffering until the end through an operation.  God had gotten me through each day that I faced with my painful knee.  Together, we journeyed.  I would plan each day with God and then, at the end of that day, I would thank God for getting me through it.  We had done it together. 

I knew I was not alone.  God always provided such good and kind people to be with me each day.  You were part of the miracle.  I am thankful for your prayers and support.  I made it, but not alone, as I made it with God and with all the people who have been part of this journey. 

Thus, I experienced that suffering is transformative.  The love of God, the companionship of God transforms us, as we are in communion, together as members of the Body of Christ.  This is true.  Miracles do happen.  I experienced one.  They just do not necessarily happen as we predict or want. 

 

I don't have to be always nice

 

One does not become enlightened by imagining figures of light, but by making 

the darkness conscious.   (Carl Jung)   

I follow online a smart, young Thai who, among other roles, is a therapist, who hosts a regular Podcast, discussing life issues.  One of his lines from this forum stays with me.  It was expressed in colloquial American terms that I cannot repeat here, but he basically shared that we can feel free not to be nice all the time. Why should we?  Who said to be nice?  We are challenged to be good, not nice.  

I suffer a bad right knee, for which I am about to go into hospital for an operation.  A good coping  mechanism and constant companion over the last two months has been my walking stick, which unwittingly has become a magnet for much kindness.  

My present stick replaces my original one that broke while I was in Vietnam.  The very day it broke, our pilgrimage group was visiting Phat Diem cathedral and diocesan centre.  My first reaction was to feel panicky, wondering what to do, when away from home.  I then purposely stood my ground, took a deep breath and assured myself that God would look after me, as he had all along on this journey with my knee.  That is another story.   

Once again , God did look after me, in the person of a priest who ran the diocesan pilgrim centre.  He heard of my plight from our tour guide and, without question, gave me one of their pilgrim walking sticks, hand carved no less.   He was so happy to help me, insisting that this was pure gift, saying that they can easily make more sticks.  I was so touched by his kindness towards me, someone he had never before met.  

One of our group on the pilgrimage befriended me and kept an eye on me.  She was consistently so kind.   Over my time with my stick, I have had great experiences of kindness from complete strangers - motorbike taxi drivers, helping me on and off their motorbike; Thai Immigration officers taking pity on me and leading me to the head of the queque; fellow tourists helping me on and off a small boat in the Mekong Delta.  The list is endless.  So much kindness, all because I carry my stick.  

That stick made my vulnerability public.  I was reluctant to take it up.  By doing so, I was putting myself at risk, but the exact opposite happened.  Sharing my vulnerability brought out the best in others and I was the happy receiver of their kindness. So, see!  No one has to be perfect.  No has to be nice all the time.  Rather, we are called to be good    

    

Recognize our true leaders

It stays with me that I was recently wandering around Vietnam, with my eyes wide open, being ever in awe, as I met so many kind, admirable, capable souls, who showed so much awareness of the amazing possibilities of life, despite any adversity.  In My Bangkok, I was reminded of this as I encountered one of our own here, making his First Communion at Sunday mass.  

I approached that simple, Sunday event with no great expectation, just a sense of how best to include this young lad on his big day.  Looking back, I saw how he bravely came forward and naturally turned it all around, by showing us how to lead on his big day.  He did so by spontaneously being his confident and friendly self, just like I experienced so often, with so many young people, whom I met on my travels, through Vietnam.  

For me, over the past month, it has been a privilege and an opportunity to meet true world leaders who pop up in my everyday life, in the midst of the unexpected or unplanned.  They are just there living their lives, doing what they need to do along the way, but they are there leading, and I am so thrilled to meet them and have them lead me along the way.