Home is where the heart is

Ray is a milestone in my life.  He was one of a kind, ever full of humour, ever there, ever vulnerably human, ever kind and accepting.  I so miss him as he was home for me.  I remember how we met.  I had gone to a priest seeking advice, which was direct and simple - I know what you need, Ray!  And he was so right.  Now Ray rests in peace, while never being far away  I can still hear his classic one liners, like - "God will not be mocked!".  

I am thinking of Ray at a time when I am about to visit Sydney for two weeks.  While I never uphold here as paradise on earth, which some do, I always find the days before leaving here tough.  I just don't want to go as I know I will miss it.  Then the return here is always sweet.  What does this naturally occurring pattern say to me?  Does it say that here is home?  I am not so sure as I know my frustrations and critical thinking, that arise from my being here.  

But then, is going to Sydney a homecoming for me?  Not really.  After 20 years in Thailand, I feel like I have lost touch with Australia, a country I no longer understand.  Time away has done that to me.  I have gained distance, lost touch, seen where I have come from in a new light.  The word "diaspora" has a heartfelt meaning for me.  

So where is home?  Where do I belong?  My response to the latter is easy - I don't know.  I am not sure.  And that is okay.  My response to the former is also easy - It is with my family and friends.  It is not defined by location or place.  

Then a friend from here sent me this just this week.  

In any friendship, the most important thing is sincerity and genuine care. 

Sincerity comes from love and kindness. 

In a friendship without sincerity, nothing truly has meaning and nothing feels special.  

Only sincerity can make a friendship meaningful and valuable.  

This speaks strongly to a good friend, so much that he sent it to me.  As a Buddhist, as one from outside my sphere of influence, I take double notice.  That says it for me.  So I share, as I reflect on where is home.  My home is where my heart is.        

  

 

Life is too short

Recently, I enjoyed a memorable night celebrating the birthday of a friend's restaurant.  It was a most hospitable, friendly and, may I say, diverse evening.  As it happened, I happily sat with a German-Thai family, whom I got to know very quickly.  They were so kind and gracious, good fun.  The German "godfather" so readily and comfortably shared about his life, which began as a baby in the midst of the destruction of post-war Germany.  It just went on from there, featuring tough beginnings, hard work, challenging times and colorful life adventures, sailing beyond the shores of the Fatherland.  It all blended into a wondrous tapestry.  

As I listened to his unfolding a captivating life story, I sat privileged and grateful to meet a good and decent human being.  By now, his life was slowing down as he had been hit by cancer.  I could feel both his sense of resignation and fulfilment, earned by having endured a life well lived, full of its own colour and excitement, but now rapidly changing.  We could both agree on a key life theme - enjoy life in the now, as best we can, for it is too short.  

Here was a man who saw life through firsthand experiences of joys and hardships, of people loved and enjoyed, of success and loss, of love and heartbreak.  All this has produced a truly kind and human person, who appreciates our raw humanity and glories in being able to enjoy that humanity with others, who come his way.  He is a person of the big picture, drawn by his own rich experience of undiluted life.    

I know he does not realize it, but life experience has sculpted my "birthday party host and friend" into a saint.  As St Carlo Acutis, who died in 2006 at the age of 15, realized, each of us is a unique person, called to be a saint.  We just need to follow our call from God, whatever that may be.  Being truly human is our universal call.  How we live our humanity, as a response to our own unique opportunities, in our own unique ways, is what makes us who we are.