Home is where the heart is

Ray is a milestone in my life.  He was one of a kind, ever full of humour, ever there, ever vulnerably human, ever kind and accepting.  I so miss him as he was home for me.  I remember how we met.  I had gone to a priest seeking advice, which was direct and simple - I know what you need, Ray!  And he was so right.  Now Ray rests in peace, while never being far away  I can still hear his classic one liners, like - "God will not be mocked!".  

I am thinking of Ray at a time when I am about to visit Sydney for two weeks.  While I never uphold here as paradise on earth, which some do, I always find the days before leaving here tough.  I just don't want to go as I know I will miss it.  Then the return here is always sweet.  What does this naturally occurring pattern say to me?  Does it say that here is home?  I am not so sure as I know my frustrations and critical thinking, that arise from my being here.  

But then, is going to Sydney a homecoming for me?  Not really.  After 20 years in Thailand, I feel like I have lost touch with Australia, a country I no longer understand.  Time away has done that to me.  I have gained distance, lost touch, seen where I have come from in a new light.  The word "diaspora" has a heartfelt meaning for me.  

So where is home?  Where do I belong?  My response to the latter is easy - I don't know.  I am not sure.  And that is okay.  My response to the former is also easy - It is with my family and friends.  It is not defined by location or place.  

Then a friend from here sent me this just this week.  

In any friendship, the most important thing is sincerity and genuine care. 

Sincerity comes from love and kindness. 

In a friendship without sincerity, nothing truly has meaning and nothing feels special.  

Only sincerity can make a friendship meaningful and valuable.  

This speaks strongly to a good friend, so much that he sent it to me.  As a Buddhist, as one from outside my sphere of influence, I take double notice.  That says it for me.  So I share, as I reflect on where is home.  My home is where my heart is.