Christmas

I thought about it hard last night and decided it was time to get rid of some of those highlighted photos on my blog showing the phsyical results of political strife in Thailand. It is time to move one. Still I did leave one photo as a symbol that the troubles, the unrest, the issues are not yet resolved. 2011 will see ongoing political and social turmoil in a society that is experiencing rapid change and its effects for better or worse in a globalised world.

For now, it is Christmas and it is time to highlight the season. Even at Christmas, the paradoxes of our life continue, or maybe they are just highlighted even more due to the nature of the season. I mean - Bangkok may have a singing tree but Abu Dhabi has a $US11million, diamond tree. How gross!

Well, my two photos of Christmas highlight the paradoxes of my life. One shows the bright lights of Bangkok at Christmas. The other features our Vietnamese Santa at the Bangkok Refugee Centre striving to share a bit of joy with the children of urban refugee families in Bangkok. Life for them is hard. It is even harder at the moment as many of them are the victims of a current police crackdown on the urban refugee population within the city. One wonders why. Not all the reasons are due to the wish to uphold law and its due process. It is Christmas. Only if we could let everyone know what the season is really about, and not just through bright lights and those flippant, good humoured songs we all know for this time of the year.

Happy Christmas!!!!

It's Christmas

I may be in Thailand but it is still Christmas. Thais, being Buddhist, might not understand what Christmas is all about but they still love the music, the lights, the decorations, the shopping. They actually have some of the best Christmas trees and snowmen I have evr seen. It is quite bizarre, listening to "I'm Dreaming of a White Christmas", when you are sweltering in a tropical heat.

Actually, I am just back from Rome and Spain where I went for some work and a meeting. It all makes a bit more sense in that sort of climate and environment. Then it makes me ask the old question - What is the meaning of Christmas? My answer is a little and simple story I have from my time in Spain.

In Spain, I stayed for a couple of nights in the convent of a group of Augustinian nuns. They were most gracious and very friendly. As I left, the Sister who looked after my meals came and gave me one of her handkerchiefs. She explained that she wanted to give me something but had nothing to give except this handkerchief which was marked with her laundry number. The number named the hankie as hers. I was just so touched and just accepted it with a little tear in my eye. Sister, that what giving is all about.

I now carry that hankie with me in my pocket as my reminder of what Christmas is all about. Sister and the hankie say it all.

End of another year

No, I am not going mad. It is the end of another year - the Church Year. The Church always loves to be different. Yesterday was the Last Sunday of the Church's Year and was also the annual Festival of Loy Krathong in Thailand.

Loy Krathong falls on the first full moon at the end of rainy season. It is a water based festival where all the people go to some waterway to float their krathong - a floating body to be used for placing symbols of oneself. You can see mine in the above picture. It was environmentally friendly as it was made of bread and so the fish could eat it and enjoy. It was also made into the shape of a turtle - very cute.

The idea of Loy Krathong is very simple. It involves a ritual where each individual floats their krathong with symbols of themselves - a piece of a fingernail, a strand of hair, incense, candle. As you float your krathong and it goes away down the waterway, you are symbolically letting go of all the bad in your life and wishing for a whole new start. I really enjoy this festival and it so lovely. It really does have a special meaning for life.

Could this be the Year of the Turtle?

What did I say?

I went along to the cathedral on Sunday prepared to preach on the readings for the 32nd Sunday of the Year. Instead I discovered that it was All Saints Day in Thailand. So I had to do a last minute change on my homily. This I did and I thought what I had to share was somewhat just okay given the circumstances.

What did I discover instead?

People were commenting on the homily and telling me that it is one of the best ever. I think - Really? What was it about Sunday that was different?

I think it is that I touched on a 'raw nerve', a relevant topic. My first line was to present my view on the issue of family planning in the Philippines and the Church's strong reaction to act. I hinted at the Church's own hypocrisy and its lack of response to injustices like the children on the street that I see in Manila.

The people seemed impressed that I would publicly touch on such a delicate issue as a priest and that I would speak honestly, presenting a different view from the party line. Still this was me being me - naming as it is and why not? Maybe this speaks of what people are hungering for in Church, in the world - not just to be told but to be trusted so that they can do their own reflecting and decision making.

Where to effect change

Yesterday, I mentioned that having Alejandro and Luciano, who are of the Order's Curia, visit me in Bangkok was more productive and worthwhile for me and my mission than my being at the Order's Intermediate General Chapter. Why do I say that?

After all the General Chapter was a good experience, full of many great opportunities to meet, to connect, to see how the show operates, to gain some new insights. As for achieving any great movements for change, I did not see that happen and maybe I should not expect that to happen at such a level. What I saw more was the frustration with needed change not happening and just how slowly change does occur.

My reflection simply was that the macro-level is not the place where we can normally expect change to occur. It can and does occur there but probably more rarely than at the more micro-levels. At the macro-level, change is affected in exceptional or certain circumstances, when the need for change is high. Normally this is not the case. Change is not easy for anyone and so it is more likely to occur at the local level, at the grassroots or the personal level. Just for what it is worth as I thought I should explain my position.

Where have I been?

I look back at my life since I went home to Australia in mid-July and it just seems that life has been hectic with one big thing after another.

I go to Australia for three weeks for Provincial Chapter and then with my family. I return home to Bangkok, I catch up with my work and then it is off to the Philippines for Intermediate General Chapter of the Order. I return home to Bangkok, I catch up with my work and then it is the visit of Alejandro and Luciano on their way home to Rome. Then there was the Asia-Oceania Church Meeting on the Pastoral Care of those on the Street, followed by off to Phuket to visit my great friends holidaying there form Echuca. Now life seems to be returning to normal before I go off again to Rome and Madrid for a meeting and some work. This seems to be my life.

In the midst of it all, I can lose sense of what it is all really about and what are the central messages for me coming out from my various activities.

The visit of Alejandro and Luciano was a very positive one. For me, their visit was more worthwhile and productive than my going to the Order's Chapter as these two men of the Order's leadership came here, saw me and my work, came to understand what I do and saw the value of what I do. They went away not just affirming me but understanding me and what I am on about. That sort of established relationship is invaluable and can only happen through personal interchange.

The international Church meeting here in Bangkok on Pastoral Care covered the issues surrounding the trafficking in women and children, the homeless and the sex trade. It was a great opportunity. I heard and met Shay Cullen from Olongopo in the Philippines. He has worked there for 40 years on behalf of children and it was something to connect with a hero as just a fellow human being doing good. Archbishop Charles Bo of Yangon was my discussion group leader. He was a very friendly man and so easy to talk with. I interviewed him for UCAN, as I also interviewed a Pakistani woman who is a leader in the area of women's issues and rights in the Church there. She was a very gracious woman who spoke of the great suffering of Christian women in Pakistan. Then there were the two Sisters from Australia and New Zealand. They were just great characters doing great work on the edge in their own way. It was an all round healthy and life giving experience of Church given by the Asian Bishops' Conferences. For my reports, you can research UCAN in its October 2010 archives - www.ucanews.com

Then there was Phuket and Norm and Denise. What can I say? They were the same as ever, living and enjoying life in their own inimitable way and as happy as ever to share it with me.

Now life in Bangkok seems to come back to normal. But is normal ever a state in a Bangkok? Is life just a series of non-connected events that make for a hectic and tiring schedule? Yesterday was All Saints in the Thai Church. It made me think of two past characters in my life - the open hearted Dorothea and the eccentric Bruce. They have given me so much and helped to make me who I am. As I go along in this hectic life, Sr Dottie and Bruce tell me that all is interconnected and has a purpose in making me who I am and making life a more whole picture.

Back in Bangkok

I am back in Bangkok a week and it has generally been busy. When I was making some free time, something literally happened to me on the way.

I was carrying my bag, walking along the street, at 3pm after leaving my office. All of a sudden I wondered where was my bag. I looked up and there it was. There was a motorbike up ahead speeding along. It had two fellows on it. The one at the back was holding up my bag, pointing at it and just smiling. It all happened so fast.

I had a number of reflections after that:
why go to the police as it would be an utter waste of my time?
how lucky I was as that day I had little in my bag?
are people getting so desperate?
life is changing on the streets here very quickly?

You just move on and get on with life. I now have new glasses - Thai style. They only cost 400 baht, complete with an eye test.

Abuse of Power

I shared last time my experience of failing to connect here with a Filipino as I sought to deal with issues arising in a commitment I have here. This raised the theme of how issues are not dealt with and ended in my going away feeling frustrated. I raised how this highlights the way it does not work here.

Having shared that, I do stand by my overall experience and held view that Filipinos are lovely and friendly people who are resourceful and have great potential. So what happens?

The key may lie in today's headline news in the Philippines. The Filipino Church institution is up in arms because Noy Noy, the new President, suggests that he may help the poor to access family planning. The photo on the front page of the paper shows hurt priest and bishops. Who do they think they are? I see here the hypocrisy and the abuse of power by Church authorities. It is as if they are caught in some middle age power vacuum. Don't they see how the population is just escalating and the whole system is just keeping the poor poor?

Why don't they speak out on the much wider social issues that are affecting this country so negatively and keeping it in chaos and the people down?? Something does go wrong in these places. Somehow it just does not all gel together. The key may lie in power, where and how it is held and how it is abused. Maybe people just get used to being in control and using it at the expense of others.

Good on you Noy Noy!

Nowhere is paradise

I know the Philippines quite well. Its people are so friendly and it has many tropical paradises. Still there is the corruption, the violence, the poverty, the natural disasters. These all take their toll. The place is falling apart and chaotic. Yet it shouldn't be like this as it has so much going for it. Its people are young and creative and capable. You can blame the corruption and other evils at play but that is not the whole story. Filipinos can blame their colonial history, outside forces and powers but just to do that is not to take responsibility and move forward.

It strikes me that people here and elsewhere in this part of the world just do not face the tough issues and do not have the staying power to focus on the hard work of righting issues and situations. That is my experience and take.

I have also experienced personally three times an arrogance amongst Filipinos. It came out each time within a relationship and in quite a strong way. So it does not just arise in everyday conversation but is expressed when there is already some trust or where you are known well enough. I think that the arrogance is a key to why the Philippines does so poorly.

Well, after yesterday, I had my fourth experience of Filipino arrogance. Once again, it was a one on one experience and was within a context of a relationship. The arrogance says that I am better as a Filipino and acts against any real engagement.

That speaks of the whole interpersonal dynamic in this place. They are lovely people but it is difficult to engage them at a deeper level or a real level. That is what the experience of trying to dialogue on issues and life at a deeper level is like here. In not meeting at the deeper level to discuss issues or the messy part of life, one does not enter into dialogue, there is no engagement and issues are not faced. For me, I just go away frustrated and feeling miffed.

Maybe that is what happens at the social level. There is just no real needed engagement occurring and so issues are not faced. Then the mess and the chaos just continue and get worse. Just my take, as I said before. The bottom line is that nowhere is perfect and we all have our other side - even me.

Mabuhay

All of us here on Chapter spent the weekend in Cebu which is the birthplace of the Order and the Church in the Philippines. It is where the image of Santo Nino is kept in our basilica. This is the religious image of Filipinos. It is their national religious symbol. We had t was a great weekend which included masses, meals, entertainment and a resort.

Despite all that happened in Cebu and all that was special, I must say that the real highlights of the weekend lie elsewhere for me.

On Friday night here at University of Regina Carmeli in Malolos, we were hosted by the univeresity to a night of Filipino culture. It featured the students from both the school and the college, entertaining us with song, music and dance. It was traditional and was so beautiful in presentation. They included us as well, by getting us to join in the dance in a couple of items. It was great fun and very well done. Considering that they were not professionals but young students from generally poor communities, the night was just special and phenomenal. It stirred my spirit as I thought how these poor young students were giving us so much, how they were so talented, how I was enjoying this so much. While some may question back home how you could entertain these countries, I could only say in my spirit on Friday night - how could you not love these countries. There is just so much life and vibrancy and enjoyment of the fullness of life here, even in the midst of great shared suffering and poverty (or maybe in spite of all this tragedy). Mabuhay.

Then I return to Malolos and check my emails to see that my biggest blog fan, my niece Carmel, has just given birth to her fifth child. She now has a new daughter - Theresa Elizabeth. Mabuhay.

Mabuhay yet again

It is Friday afternoon and a quiet moment in what has been a full week. The time is going so quickly. I am here in Malolos, Bulacan Province, just north of Manila. The Chapter is being held here at University Regina Carmeli.

I have found the experience to be interesting and worthwhile. I am meeting ones from all around the world. Bob from Kenya is teaching me Swahili. I now know there are two very similar words - Jumbo and Jambo. The former means elephant, while the latter means Hello. The Americans are easy to meet and good guys. It is good to see the various ones I know from over the years and to meet new faces. I feel honoured to be sitting beside a former Prior General and just experience him as a good guy. Everyone is friendly and easy to get on with.

Yes, there have been the information and reporting meetings. There have also been the discussion groups. Beyond these, some words stay with me like - transformation, Urdaneta and torneviaje, akuna mutata, eurocentric. They all have meaning for me because of this experience, an experience that is yet again putting me in touch with the bigger picture.

Our world, no matter how vital, can be so small and we do need to step out regularly and see yet again the big picture, the wider vision, the challenging world. I guess this is one of those experiences. Within that frame of mind, I step into the second half of my time here and just try and live the present and take it for what it is.

When I get back to Bangkok, the Ahmeds of my world will be there. They do matter to me and very much help shape my life and ministry. As refugees, they may be rejected by the world and have no home but like this Chapter they put me in touch with the bigger picture, the truer picture of our life. That picture says that we are all interconnected and that goodness does not just lie with those we know, like or feel safe with, or just within our own little, comfortable worlds. Goodness is out there in our world, shared by all humanity. This experience, as do my Ahmeds, remind me of this.

Mabuhay

Well, I am now in the Philippines. I am here for the Order's Intermediate General Chapter. I was wondering why I was coming to this as it is for all the big shots and I am only a small player. I was invited as an expert but .....??? Having gotten here, I am pleased to be here. It is good meeting all the ones from throughout the Order and everyone is very friendly.

It is a busy time, having meetings all day, but it is also educational and very social. I am hearing words like history, mission, re-evangelisation, transformation, Urdaneta - and they are all coming together. Basically, the Order has a great history but that is not to be the end of the story. Rather it is to be the beginning for the next step forward, and the next step forward is aimed at Asia. That is where I come in as I have been in Thailand for five years and can hopefully offer some insight from my experience. We will see how I go and I will keep you informed.

There is so much talk

Living in Bangkok, I am hearing a lot of talk about what may happen in this country. I am not going to act on talk nor will I repeat it. However, I will say, as I often say, living here is like living in a Shakespearean play. It fits in with how I see this place existing in some type of time warp. It just is that the time warp takes you back socially and politically some 400 to 500 years. What is sad is that the time warp so negatively effects the ordinary, everyday Thai and especially the poor Thais. It all seems to be determined by the Thai elite for the sake of their own particular betterment at the expense of their own people. Sad but this is what happens in our world.

On Saturday, I go to Manila. I am away for 12 days as I go to be part of my Order's Intermediate General Chapter there. My basis for being invited is my experience of five years' living and working in Thailand. The Order is considering its position in Asia. So I am there to help in its reflections and deliberations.

We will see what happens next on a number of fronts. Life is never dull.

Stuck

My earlier reflections did hold a key. It came to me afterwards while on the bus home from work. It is as if Thailand is stuck in time. We are in 2010 but Thailand and its people are like stuck in a time warp.

It is a time warp created over time by the powerful few to serve certain select interests. The mass of people are like stuck in this warp created by the few. The masses are held within it. They have to deal with it, or just aren't able for it or just aren't even aware of it as simply this is the way it is in Thailand.

Just for what it is worth.

Our world can be so small

Our Liz challenges the faith community at Bangkok Cathedral at this very moment. Why?

While Liz and Empower are out there busy working to help sex workers build up their lives, the big issue at the cathedral is appropriate dress. As one who goes to the cathedral, I have to say that no one dresses disrespectfully, or at the very least, no one does so knowingly or on purpose. What I believe is at play is the old cultural differences.

We are in Thailand and we have to respect Thai ways but the cathedral has a mixed population. People come to it from other countries and other ways which may seem strange to the Thais. Some only come on a one off visit while others are regulars. What I see happening is that what is repectful for a westerner is not so respectful for a Thai. I understand the tensions that may arise in the presenting of this issue but but no one is being disrespectful. What really worries me is that some good people are feeling excluded by the way this policy is being presented in the community.

Even on this little issue, one could go on for hours but what is the central word is LITTLE. It really is such a little issue. No one means any harm and the whole thing is becoming too consuming and causing too much unnecessary strife. Why don't we follow the lead of our Liz and Empower and move onto a big issue and focus our time and energy on something worthwhile, like religious harmony, homelessness, social issues causing unrest? Why can't we let go of the little things and move onto what really matters to us as builders of the Reign of God?

Then there is something else that comes to my attention and I think it may be related. It is my recent more highlighted experience of the arrogant side of Thais. As I go around on my day, I notice more Thais on the street looking unhappy, appearing quite arrogant with their looks. Maybe this is nothing and only me, but it is happening in a country where it is so important to have the image of being friendly and to appear polite. It makes me wonder if anything is happening out there. I also repeat that the soldiers have returned to the streets - soldiers and not more police. They have not come back in big numbers but they have returned. What is that about?

As I say many times, life here is lived on many layers and the layer that matters most is the one below, the one you are not immediately experiencing or know about. This country is experiencing great pain because of unresolved and ongoing social issues. The political system is not working to deal with these unresolved issues. I suspect here is a key to what people are feeling even if they are not allowed or able to name their experience due to their cultuture, their ways and the constraints of a restrictive social hierarchy and system.

Liz

Yesterday, I mentioned Liz - the Australian woman who works with Empower in Chiang Mai. This NGO reaches out to sex workers. Liz is obviously a real character and is committed to her work and the people her work touches. I was most impressed by her.

For me, she is a gospel woman doing gospel work. I say that not even really knowing her. She may never go to a church. If that is so, I would still hold that she is a gospel woman doing gospel work.

It then makes me ask what is it that motivates the Lizzes of our world?

They are building the reign of God in such real ways while so many at church remain so inward looking and so judgemental, being overcome by trivial internal issues. It makes me wonder. The Lizzes in our midst do challenge those of us who publicly hold to the gospel and who know the call to build the reign of God.

Thank God for the Lizzes. They have something to say to us.

Developments

Well, at the weekend, armed soldiers returned to duty at my central shopping area known as Sala Daeng. There are only four of them but they are armed and they are there. I don't know what that really means but something has happened or is happening.

Then I see that Bob Katter has made his announcement independently in the Australian political scene. The way it is all being dealt with looks from afar as some sort of TV Quiz Show. We now have the big announcement - "And the winner is ..... !!"

Last week, I was in Chiang Mai for a network conference on migration in the Mekong region. It was a great but busy time. I was impressed by the ones I met working in this area of outreach to those suffering under the chaos of migration due to economic, social and political hardships. One person was Liz. She is an Australian working with Empower in Chiang Mai. There are so many Australians here in this region doing great work. We should be proud.

Empower works with sex workers. They run a bar in Chiang Mai as a social and meeting centre for ones involved in anyway in the scene. It is most impressive. You can sit and talk and listen; you can connect and do some good work; or you can have a go at do-it-yourself pole dancing. I must say that this physical activity is good exercise. Unfortunately, I didn't get any tips and I was not such a pretty sight.

Just something for today.

Back home

I came back home to Bangkok and within two weeks was in touch with huge differences within the local scene. On the surface, life in Bangkok seems quiet - funnily quiet - but under the surface there is a lot of talk that tells you much is happening and the social environment is dramatically changing.

The basic lesson is that when one does not deal with one's issues, they do not just go away but stay and become even pronounced. The same is true at a social level.

I do wait to see what happens next here and when. I only hope it is for the good of the people and their society.

It seems so long

It is two months since my last entry. I can't believe it. What has happened? Where has the time gone? I look at my diary. The time seems quiet in Bangkok but who knows?

I was home in Australia for three weeks from Monday 19th July. I was in Sydney for Provincial Chapter. The time with my Province was reaffirming for me here in Thailand. I left feeling missioned by both my Province and Order to return to Bangkok and my work.

From Sydney, I went to Brisbane to spend time with now frail and elderly parents who need care and attention. In the midst of the fray that is the chaos of my family facing transition and the unknown, I would say that an insight gained or relearnt is that the human species is basically made up of good people who are doing their best as they cope with their own tough reality and set of dysfunctions - those shared and those peculiar to oneself.

Despite all change, the Brisbane Ekka remains in tack. A great find at the Ekka was Big Wal, the firefighter - what a man!

We are in mourning ..

As we live in the weeks beyond the Battle of Bangkok, life in the streets is nearly as if nothing ever happened. That may be the way of the people here but I find it quite strange, quite eerie. My reflection goes even deeper.

It strikes me that we in Bangkok so easily mourn the buildings lost but not the peole killed. How sad!

In Bangkok, it is as if we are more connected to the buildings than the people. We do know more about the buildings burnt than the people killed. In the Thai papers, we read about Central World and the well known cinema in Siam Square but what about the people killed? Who were they? Where did they come from?

This reflection came to me as I wandered the streets of Bangkok yesterday. I saw the signs:
We love Rachaprasong.
We love Central World.
But what about the people lost, injured and suffering from all sides?

I saw the people just looking at the destroyed part of Central World and how they were mesmerised by the destruction. Then I stopped at the nearby wat where a number were killed in supposedly safe ground. I reflected that no one was just staring at this place where people sought refuge but were murdered by someone. This was where innocent people lost their lives. A symbolic place? I reflected that the burnt out Central World is a memorial to senseless destruction but that there is no memorial to ponder the senseless loss of life - the life of anyone, the life of people from all sides in the conflict. Life is so sacred but seemingly so cheap.

What is this saying about me? About the community? Are we victims of our own lack of critical reflection, our own lack of commitment or courage to stand up for life anywhere and its betterment? I don't have an answer as yet.

Political conflict in Thailand ....

I read the Sunday Bangkok Post. There is an article within it that infers that the ongoing political conflict in Thailand is terrorism. Hmmm??????

A future direction

You may wonder something - whom do I support in the troubles here? I support neither side. I support the Thai people. It is their country and they have to make it what they want it to be together.

My personal view is that what is needed is a third wave as I see too many corrupt politicians and too many people driven by narrow self-interest running the show. I wonder, however, where this force will come from. I have held a theory that the hope for Thailand is in its younger generations as hopefully they have not been tainted by a corrupt and non-sustainable political system and can then come up with something vibrant and new for their country.

Then last night I was out for a beer at my favourite bar and my theory was confirmed through meeting a young Thai female. She was a most likeable, appealing and educated businesswoman. As we talked briefly, I sensed that here was a hope for Thailand. She was sad for her country and recent happenings. She was not with either side but had a vision for a future Thailand. I could feel that here before me was a hope for Thailand. With people like her, this country can move forward and go places. I just hope and pray that they own their vision, believe in it and claim the power to work for it so that it may become more a reality.

The end of the beginning

There was an article in the Bangkok Post following the end of the latest round of protests in Bangkok. It was entitled - The end of the beginning. I think it well named. If all sides of the political spectrum here agree on one thing, it is that any resolution of the political troubles will be longterm and will take a lot of hard work.

The Thai parliament had a debate over the protests and resolved nothing. The social divides remain and may now even penetrate deeper into Thai society. These divides reflect the widening gap between rich and poor, between the urban and rural populations, between those feeling enfranchised and those feeling disenfranchised. Much needs to be done to heal the divides. There are huge challenges to face and people need to look beyond self-interest and greed.

So where are we now? I think Thailand is still in shock and trying to put it together. It is only the end of the beginning.

It is quiet

Bangkok is open for business again - the military are returning to their barracks; the streets are being cleaned up; schools have returned; the traffic has returned. Still one can't say that it is business as usual.

There is e certain hesitancy in the air - maybe it is shock, maybe it is tiredness, maybe it is quietness. The razor wire remains around the Marriott in Suan Phlu. Elsewhere the wire is gone. Yesterday as I passed the Marriott yet again, I expressed my view as a citizen to the management. I said that the wire was staying longer than needed and serving to continue the message of fear in our street. After all, the Prime Minister announced to all that Bangkok was now secure. I felt proud of having done my civic duty and hopefully I was an example of how to behave in a democracy.

Thailand has a long way to go to learn about democracy. It does not just happen. Neither can it just be given or built up under the leadership of corrupt politicians or institutions. The Thai PM made a statement at the weekend that spoke to me. He said - We must rebuild the spiritual house that is Thailand.

Baghdad is quiet

We have just had our second night of curfew. There are two more to go. Bangkok is still on holiday. All seems quiet but nothing has returned to normal - what is normal after this?

The military are clearing up and making Bangkok secure - whatever that entails? Many shops and malls remain closed. The 7-Elevens are packed with people buying up supplies bigtime. Skytrain and the underground remain closed. Roads remain closed and buses are taking very funny routes. The mess on the streets is still waiting to be cleaned up.

I hear people are in shock and I suspect there is truth in that. There is also a sense of what will happen next as the protest may have been stopped but the issues have not been tackled. The issues it would seem are now deeper and the divide wider.

For now, it is good just to stand back. In the not too distant future, the issues need to be honestly named and people need to face up to them. It can no longer be just naming the two sides as pro-Thaksin and anti-Thaksin. That takes one into talk that is too simplistic and not helpful. The issues are much more complex, much more in tune with people's reality. They speak of a divide in a society where there is a huge gap between
the powerful and the powerless;
the haves and have nots.

We may be in shock in Bangkok but that may lead to a needed change in the local mindset so that the citizens of Thailand can start facing up to the issues and not leave it in the hands of corrupt and self-seeking leaders of all sides. So quiet time and a bit of shock may not be a bad thing.

Greetings from Baghdad

Well, it feels like living in Baghdad except this is bangkok, Thailand.

I do okay. The government's decision yesterday to make a final move against the UDD protest site in central Bangkok unleashed a violent outburst that has seen much destruction. Something was due to happen, given how the situation was allowed to develop by both sides, but this was not the way to go - ever! Thais killing Thais is not the answer. This is just shameful and useless behaviour. No resolution will be reached this way and now the situation is even worse for Thailand. Who knows where it will go from here? I will not even conjecture here as there are just too many possible scenarios, including just fading into an unreal sense of oblivion which Thais can do so well. Going this way solves nothing.

As for me, the power is out at my apartment as they blew up something or destroyed something yesterday that provides power into my area. So I had a hot night caring for me and my fridge as it defrosted. I figured it was a good chance just to be quiet and reflect.

We will see what happens today. So remember Carmel - within a bad Bangkok, I am doing okay.

A sad day for Thailand and Thais

Today is a sad day for Thailand and Thais. It is 8.30 am in Bangkok and the government has sent in the military for a final assault with the APCs moving in. Killing of anybody is not the way to go and solves nothing. It would seem that it will only make matters worse. Where goes the basic right to life? What happens to the respect for life held by people of all religious beliefs?

It seems easier to hate others we don't like or disagree with and do them harm when we give them evil labels and put them into their boxes. It used to be that those who were our 'enemies' were labelled as communists and we could do with them then what we willed. Now they are labelled as terrorists.

In Thailand during the present troubles, this has been done superbly. There is so much misinformation in this country. The two sides of the story are not being told within Thailand. Only one side is being told and heard in Bangkok. Label them all as terrorists, make the population afraid of them and do with them what you will. Will we ever learn?

The last line

Yesterday, I shared my reflections from my homily on Sunday. In my haste to get home safely, I left out the punch line, or the last line. Simply:

To know that God sustains us and that Jesus is our companion is to nourish us to face the challenges of our reality, no matter how harsh.

This will be the opening for next Sunday's homily when we celebrate Pentecost.

Meanwhile the troubles continue to boil in Thailand and one just not know what will happen next as it truly is the land of the Unexpected.

Pictures speak a thousand words

I just downloaded pictures that I took on Sathorn, a major Bangkok thoroughfare near my home. It is at the edge of the Bangkok 'war zone'. I took them yesterday. They tell my story of what is happening here. So I will not repeat myself. Instead, I would like to share some of my homily from mass yesterday as I would rather share a reflection that hopefully makes some sense out of all taht is happening and that offers some message of hope.

So here goes.

We are all theologians. As we face the harsh realities of a present Bangkok, we need to ask the theological questions and theologise on our reality.

Firstly, today is the Feast of the Ascension. This is not about Jesus being an astronaut but is firmly part of the easter event and tells us that Jesus is truly and really with us. This is our faith tradition handed down from the early Church. Even more, the same tradition affirms that we are called to be in intimate relationship with the risen Jesus here and now.

Having theologically situated ourselves, we can now ask the theological question:
Where is God to be found here and now?
In the midst of a Bangkok caught up in violence and killing, following on from long and hard political protests, the question may be more specific and expressed as follows:
How do we deal with chaos, if we say we are intimate with Jesus?
How do we deal with life when everything seems to be going so terribly wrong, if we say we are intimate with Jesus?
How do we deal with life when all seems beyond our control, if we say we are intimate with Jesus?

We can now come to a theological response. Herein, in the midst of the chaos, lies the key to our entering into true intimacy with Jesus. The key is our vulnerability. This tells us that we cannot go it alone; that we need something more; that we need someone else to go on.
Our Easter faith tells us that the key response is that God sustains us and that Jesus is our companion.

Now definitely there are developments

It has been an intense last twelve hours in Bangkok, in more ways than one.



I am sure we have all seen the news and know how the army has moved in on the red shirts in Bangkok and how a leading red shirt figure was shot in the head. There is now chaos engulfing the section of Bangkok where the red shirts are making their stand. Shots are being fired. I could hear them when I was trying to get to work. That is another story.



Before going too far, I think I should begin, not at the red shirt site in Lumpini, but with me at a friend's place last night. You see I went to a dinner at friends' place where they were hosting a work group. One of the aims for me was to meet for the first time someone with whom I had a connection through my time here. So I duly went up to this person and introduced myself. The proposed purpose was to share with him about one part of my experiences here in Thailand. So I said "Hi" and just went into my negative experiences with two particular people in my work here. Looking back, I see how bizarre my behavior was, just rocking up and giving an earful, but I had assumed so much because I had been briefed by my friends about how enlightened and how on side this person was. Also I was ready to get some stuff off my chest.



Well, wrong move! Wrong assumption! This person responded immediately to my sharing with a huge, over the top angry fit, expressing himself verbally and physically. I was in shock and just asked - "Did I make you angry?" (I think this part so funny as I look back.) "Yes," he replied. To which I said, "I didn't mean to". Actually I was quite calm and not angry as I shared with him about how these ones have hurt me. He just said, "I would hate to see you if you were trying to make someone angry".



I know I was at fault and apologized. I share this encounter not so as to seek pity but to share a learning for me with you. We can make others angry so easily and not even realize what we are doing, acting quite innocently. Then the anger descends and how do we respond? I responded calmly and with an apology. That dealt with the situation. If I had got angry in response, the whole situation could have escalated to a nasty fight.



At the same time, we were all standing in the living room watching the news regarding the happenings in the streets of Bangkok. We saw the 'rebel' Thai Army General - Seh Daeng - being carried off to hospital after being shot. This news, despite all that has gone on here already, seemed unbelievable. I suppose because it has such huge possible consequences for ongoing violence and fighting.



Then I rang a great Thai friend to talk with him about the happenings of the night and when I mentioned that General Seh Daeng had been shot, he just replied, "He can die". I was in shock for a second time in the night. I do not take sides in this as I see both sides lacking and I would hope for a third force for good to come forward - but from where? There is no US cavalry here. Still, no matter what or who, we are dealing with people's lives and it is not worth one person's life lost or threatened in all of this. I wondered what has happened to the gentle, loving Thai. Where are they going?



Now It is Friday morning and I see the two sides of humanity, the two sides of the people here. After all, Thais are only human like the rest of us. A woman I work with here says to me, "Thailand is sad". I agree. It is sad. I feel sad. Then I move into another office area and they are talking gleefully about the sniper who shot Seh Daeng and they are even laughing. We all have two sides - good and bad. As Christians, we know that the good has won the day but I feel the need to hope and pray that this is very much so here and now.

Out of all this time being in Bangkok for this period of turbulence, one image that will stay with me is that the nation has not descended into civil war or anarchy. What has happened in Bangkok is that life just goes on and people go on with their business just going around the trouble areas. Maybe that is an image of one way of dealing with the chaos of our lives - get on with life as best you can. An image from amidst the chaos of Bangkok.

Finally a development

Well, over the last 24 hours, there have been developments within the chaotic scene of Thai politics. I think they have gotten more chaotic.

There was a proposal for a way ahead put forward by Abhisit, the Prime Minister. It seemed as if things were quietening down and people might go home but then it has all come to the fore again. Why? The red shirts accepted the PM's proposal but asked for one more condition - that Suthep report to the police for his part in ordering the April 10 action that resulted in anumber of deaths. Well he reported to the police but to a department where he is the boss. So the red shirts did not accept this, while the government said that he reported to the police as requested.

So now the PM has withdrawn his proposal and the red shirts remain determined to stay their ground. So who knows what next? The army has a plan to blockade the red shirts in their base site in Bangkok. From there, who knows what?

These developments don't appear as involving much action but they are important and much more subtle than any on the ground action taken by either side. These could lead to much more turbulence or just to a longer period of sitting it out.

It all just goes on

It seems a long time since I last wrote, considering what may seem to be going on in Bangkok. Well you know what? It all just seems to go on and on and on. The redshirts continue to be barricaded in the major, central hotel and shopping district of Bangkok. The soldiers and police continue to stand guard every day despite looking hot tired and tired. From one angle, it all just seems to be one big stand-off with a major incident happening every so often.

I suppose part of the harsh reality is that when these barricades are pulled down and the protestors and the soldiers and the police all go home, the basic, underlying problems will remain. Nothing in the short term will be resolved. No one election will produce a solution.

What is needed is long term action targeting change at the very basics of Thai society. There is a need to narrow the inequality gap. There is a need to have a decent Constitution that speaks for the whole of Thai society. There is a need to clean up corruption in government institutions and build up institutions that serve well their society. All this takes time, commitment and perseverance. Still, as they say, Rome wasn't built in a day. It's not impossible.

Is there an explanation?

It seems that what we have before us in Bangkok is a huge Mexican stand-off. Both sides involved in the present troubles hold onto their positons and it all seems to be going nowhere. So the redshirts stay in the central business area, having major businesses shut down for a month. The soldiers and police stay in Silom, being as friendly as ever. I must say that the soldiers seem much friendlier than the police. I imagine they are getting bored. It must end sometime, somehow.

I heard yet another possible and intriguing theory that may explain this. It has a psycho-social base. The person sees that in a culture where you cannot freely express anger or even your honest feelings, it all builds up over time and comes to the surface in a huge way. What we are seeing is the venting of years of pent-up anger that has never been allowed to be appropriately expressed. The anger is over how the rich and powerful have treated the poor and powerless in Thai society. Anger doesn't just disappear. It has to be dealt with or it becomes destructive. Interesting?

The PM offers a possible solution - elections on 14th November - but is it that easy? I suspect not as there are so many layers to this and so many players. We will wait even longer and see.

Uncanny

Yesterday at 5pm, I was back at point zero in Silom to see what was happening. What I saw frightened me. It was a small group of counter protestors who appeared quite provocative and aggressive in voicing their opinion. Why did it frighten me? Because such action within such a volatile environment where you have armed soldiers and police facing a whole camp of determined protestors could easily start armed conflict, and there are all these people around watching and doing their business.

Then, a Thai man standing beside me, watching the same small number of aggressive protestors, told me - There will be a fight here at 8pm.

You know what? At 8pm last night, five grenades were thrown into Sala Daeng and the Skytrain station. Three people were killed and 75 wounded. This was no accident. It was well planned. For me, it was a very uncanny, unnerving experience.

The big question is - Who did it? As I have said before, a frustration in living in Thailand is that you never really know what is happening or what is really at play.

As I read yet again today, how many deaths do Thais need before they stand back and start thinking and working out their differences and dealing with the real issues?

The scene is set

Yesterday, I went to Silom with my camera ready to take a few shots. Still I was not ready for what I saw. The 'red shirts' had set up their barracade made of old tires and such at the end of Rachadamri facing Silom. There they were standing on their own barracade, facing the military and police, singing songs and dancing. It was like the Thai version of Les Miserables.

As you walk along Silom, you get the feel that the scene is set. It has moved from a Graham Greene novel setting to a Les Miserables setting. The frightening aspect is that it is set so that it could explode at any time. While both sides appear friendly, the ingredients are there for trouble.

Then I read in today's Bangkok Post - there have not been enough coffins in this present conflict to make Thais stop and think. Does there need to be more strife?

Thailand, the Land of Protests

It is no big news to say that Thailand is caught up in an ongoing political struggle. That is obvious. What it is exactly about is a harder story to capture. Is it about democracy? Is it about a power struggle between the powerful and wealthy? Is it about greed and corruption gone mad? Is it about a class struggle? Is it about something else? Is it about many things? I try to understand and do the best I can but ultimately who knows???

The two basic people's sides or fronts are -
the 'red shirts' or UDD - United Front against Dictatorship for Democracy;
the 'yellow shirts' or PAD - People's Alliance for Democracy.
The former come from the Provinces to the north and northeast of Bangkok. The latter comes from Bangkok. The former is named as pro-Thaksin; the latter anti-Thaksin. The former is a movement of the rural poor; the latter is a movement of the Bangkok elite. Both proclaim their loyalty to Thailand, democracy and the monarchy.

Where I live in Bangkok is in Sathorn, around the corner from the Australian Embassy. It is central but it is also suburban. For me, it is a wondeful place to live. My usual walking course has become home of the 'red shirts'. My shopping area, Silom, has become home of the army who are there so as to stop the 'red shirts' taking over any more of Bangkok.

So when I went for my walk and shopping yesterday, I walked past many soldiers with rifles. All seem relaxed and friendly and were happy to have their photo taken. To get to my supermarket, I had to skirt barbed wire and military vehicles. It all had a surreal feel about it.

Despite all, I just don't feel unsafe. People on both sides are friendly. I know anything and everything could happen anytime but, in the meantime, life just goes on. In another way, I feel like I am part of a real life Shakespearen tragedy. In yet another way, it is like being part of living history. Who knows what will happen next.

It is sad to see people killed. It is sad to see the poor undergo ongoing suffering. I wonder if all this has to happen to allow a democracy to grow as democracy, to allow a society to undergo needed change as all this does not just happen but why the bloodshed? That does not have to be.

Like always, life here is a mystery.

Why Bangkok?

Why do ones come from such far away places as Somalia or Congo to seek asylum in Bangkok? It seems hard to fathom but when you hear their stories, you understand why.

They live in desperate situations where they know war, fear, threat of death or maybe worse. They are then offered a way out. Someone locally says they know someone who will take them to Europe for a price. So they desperately or innocently pay the money and go their way for Europe.

What happens? They are taken to Bangkok, being told that it is on the way to Europe. They might not even understand Bangkok or where it is and so may think they are nearly there. Why Bangkok? It is a hub and is very easy to enter on a tourist visa.

Their companion says that they will stay in Bangkok for a few days before moving on. Then at a suitable moment, the companion goes and takes the other's passport and money. They are then left stranded in Bangkok and go from there. It is downhill all the way in a treacherous and harsh Bangkok. They just seem to go from one sort of hell to another. It just is in Bangkok they don't have to face what they faced back home - death, torure, rape. A typical story!

Bangkok??

Today, I am in Madrid. I came here yesterday from Rome. It is another opportunity and experience that came my way. I took it graciously as part of my time to reconnect and regroup after a rather intense period of work and life back in Bangkok.

I went to a theological Congress this afternoon and at it I briefly met two Spanish women. I was introduced as Padre John from Australia who lives and works in Bangkok. They just said "Bangkok" and smiled. It made me think - Yes, why would a Catholic priest got to Bangkok. After all, isn't Bangkok for tourists, for shopping or for 'yobbos' who want to drink beer and pick up women. Let's be honest. That is the image most would have of Bangkok if they were looking at it as a destination from the west. Why would a Catholic priest go there and stay?

I guess that is one of the paradoxes I live with. Eight years ago when I first went to Thailand to visit the Burmese refugee camps with JRS as part of my then sabbatical, I just knew that this is where I belonged. That was my deep sense. I needed to return to work with refugees. It was one of the few times in my life that I felt such a deep, inner call.

Back then, I did not know anything about urban refugees. I thought I was returning to work with the Burmese refugees in the camps. Well, my journey took me to Thailand but then I discovered urban refugees and a real passion for their cause. So this is where I now happily find myself. Yes, it might seem strange to have an Australian catholic priest in Bangkok. Yet, for me, it makes sense. I have a great sense of belonging and tranquility in being there while acknowledging the many questions and anomolies surrounding life in Bangkok. I suppose that speaks of a Gospel that does not always make sense to us in our acceptable reality. What is acceptable is not always of the Gospel.

I thank those two women for their smiles as they have made me stand back and reflect a little about my stance in life. It may seem strange to them. To me, it is quite natural and understandable as I venture to follow the Gospel.

Defender of the Rights of the Poor

Today at the meeting of the Order's Justice and Peace Secretariat, I learnt something new. It was that Augustine stood as the Defender of the Rights of the Poor before the Roman Emperor of the day. He did this despite all opposition, even from his own fellow bishops.

As this Defender, he went to the Emperor to tell him what he was not doing to fulfill his role as Emperor for all. This call falls to us as well - to not only respond to the needs of the poor and marginalised but to also stand up for their rights before government and society.

There is an Augustinian group in Philadelphia called Augustinian Defenders of the Rights of the Poor - A DROP. It says it all about our role in mission in responding to the gospel call to care for the poor.

Ciao della Bella Roma

It seems that I have not done a blog since Christmas Day. I am reminded of this yet again by my niece Carmel who remains my most avid follower. Well, Carmel, what is my excuse? Despite the call of Pope Benedict XVI to all priests to take up blogging, I call upon the oldest of excuses - I have been too busy.

Now I am in Rome for a meeting of my Order's Justice and Peace Secretariat of which I am a member. I come for a two day meeting and I see it as a good opportunity to escape the intensity and the pace of a Bangkok. It is not just that I am busy these days but that life is very intense living in a city where you are continually confronted by so many different and extreme realities of life. It is an experience of living life in the extreme with reality smack in your face all the time. So I saw my trip to Rome as a time to re-ground and reconnect myself.

What has the busy-ness of my life been about? From the beginning of the year, I began my new role atb the Bangkok Refugee Centre (BRC) as Coordinator of Asylum Seeker Services and as Volunteer Coordinator. That alone provides for an intense week. The BRC is a UNHCR facility in the centre of Bangkok for what are termed urban refugees. These are the ones who come to Bangkok having fled the Sri Lankas, the Congos, the Somalias of the world. They end up in Bnagkok as it is a hub city and has a UNHCR office. Thailand also has very easy tourist entry regulations as they want tourism and its money. They are left here by people smugglers or come on their own accord. They then seek refugee status and a new life from Bangkok. However that is not the end of the story but the beginning of another one.

Thailand is not a signatory to the UN Convention on Refugees. So here in Bangkok, while struggling with UN bureaucracy and trying to get refugee status, they also have to deal with a most hostile environment where they have no rights and no security as they are pure and simple illegal aliens in an alien land. They find themselves with no support while waiting interminably for UNHCR recognition, if it comes. So how do these asylum seekers survive? They depend on the goodwill and charity of a very few NGOs working on their behalf. Their needs are huge, they become desperate people and the available help that they deserve is minimal. They deserve better. So you can see my role.

Maybe I have not just been busy but exhausted by it all. Still I do this because I choose and because in a funny way I love the work as it enlivens me and gives me a real sense of purpose and meaning in facing the challenges of my day. In another way, it is about living my faith. So I don't complain. I continue my other roles with Caritas Thailand where I still work on the agriculture project and with the National Catholic Commission on Migration. I continue to love Thailand and its many fascinations while continually questioning what I see and experience in what is called 'Amazing Thailand'.

Carmel also asked me about Ahmed, the Somali fellow I have befriended and help in Bangkok. Ahmed continues to survive. Even much more, he has thrived in his own way as I have noticed lately that he is looking much healthier and that his smile is growing. His English is also improving as he studies English each day at a school. All this despite his remaining in a 'No Man's Land' as he just stays in Bangkok with no great hope of being able to go anywhere else, while not able to return home to Somalia. His one hope is that he gets to Australia. I hope he does but who knows. Still he has become a bit of a hero for me as I just sit and wonder how he keeps going so strongly. Maybe he listens to me as I advise him along the way to do just that. Maybe I should listen more to my own advice. Well, Carmel, that is Ahmed and me for now.

Ciao!