The year that has been

2013 is coming to an end and I am sitting here, looking at my simple nativity set and thinking how sad it will be to put it away until next Christmas as that will mean that my favourite time of year is over.  This becomes a natural time of the year, as I face packing away my nativity set, to stand back and reflect on what was, especially when what was has gone so quickly. 

Two days ago, I got an email from Fr Tom, bemoaning the fact that all he got for Christmas dinner was a hamburger and then pledging that this will not happen again in 2014.  A simple enough expression of a life experience but it shows the dynamics at work while we move on from year to year.  There is a "never again" component to life but, as we know so well, there is the constant repetition of the same themes in life and we ask - Why do we keep doing the same things to get the same results? 

I had reason to recall a seminal book for me in my life journey. It was entitled - "Victim, No Longer" (I think).  I wish I still had the book to share with a new found friend here in Bangkok as his life remains affected by a destructive and unasked for past. 

I read my Christmas cards and I am struck by two from special friends.  One contains a wish for 2014 that is less of bishops and more of fulfilling ministry.  Another from a good family assures me that I am a special person in their lives. 

I think then why does 2014 have to be a repeat performance of 2013.  You know what?  This year, I will not put my nativity set away.  I am going to keep it out and enjoy it all year and remind myself that Christmas can live on all year round.  You may think I am mad.  I don't care.

Happy 2014!

Yes, it is Christmas!

Every year, around the corner from where I live, the nearby LH Bank centre hosts a major Christmas display at the front of its building.  It is just like going to another world which I name as Christmas Wonderland.  When you are there, you could think that you were in the US or Europe or Australia. It is not just the wonderful tree and the marvellous settings with their bright lights and colourful decorations.  It is also the music.  You can stand in the midst of it all and listen to "Let it Snow", "I Saw Mummy Kissing Santa Claus", "Winter Wonderland" or "Jingle Bell Rock".  So I just go and savour all that it has to offer - just forget it all and enjoy the moment. 

Believe it or not, this is Thailand. Just let the photos tell the story.  Enjoy my Christmas Wonderland and Merry Christmas! 

Yes, it's that time of year again.

This week finished with the annual Christmas party for the refugees at the Bangkok Refugee Centre.  I look forward to it each year as for me it is what Christmas is about  - sharing it with those who are less well off - and here is my opportunity to do just that.  Maybe this is a bit selfish of me. 

There is a similar pattern to the celebration each year with the entertainment and the nativity play put on by the children, the Christmas songs, Santa and the gifts for the children and then the free lunch.  It is a popular day with the population and one they all enjoy but what was it about this year? 

There were many more children as well as adults. The crowd was bigger than last year or it seemed that way.  They also appeared to be just that more desperate than last year.  When there was the opportunity to get something for free - the gifts and the food - there ensued an unruly rush, a rush that upset the centre manager who saw a people who lost it at that point.  Losing it to the extent of becoming undignified.   

Later in the day, the manager and I discussed what had happened.  I approached it as speaking of a population that is getting bigger and more desperate each year within an environment that has limited resources that are being stretched further each year.  This means that we can only offer them so much and no more, not offer to placate everyone as they would like or need.  Given the situation, their response is understandable but the challenge for us becomes how not just to give but how to give so as to respect their dignity and let them keep it, even when there is not enough to share. 

Yes, it's Christmas again and I love Christmas but how to share it for and with those less well off such that their dignity is respected and not just do it to make you feel good?  How I love Christmas.  I grew up on it but it is not just for me.  More importantly, it is for others and, yes, for those less well off than I. 

In the midst of it all

There are many lovely Christmas trees around Bangkok.  So I ask - which tree do I share with you?  I make the simple choice to share my tree and here it is! 

The week that has been mine has seen the highs and lows, the beauty and the ridiculousness of life as I know it in Bangkok.  In the one week, we have had yet again the political protests that so easily and eventually turn nasty but then they stop so that everyone can celebrate the King's Birthday which I know as a day when you experience some of the very best of the local people and their culture. 

Over the years, the protests just go on and on as the issues are never resolved or maybe can't be resolved.  What I see at play is narrow self-interest on both sides, with neither side providing good leadership that will benefit the people and the longterm good of the nation.  Everyone is fighting for democracy and standing against corruption.  So who's in the right? 

What everyone also holds to is a love for the King, and this is deeply felt and real for Thais.  There is something truly touching about this and it is celebrated each year by the people on 5th December which is the King's Birthday.  So, on Thursday evening, I happily went once again this year to a neighborhood celebration for the King and his birthday.  It is open to all in the local community to come together for a festive event.  There is free food.  There is entertainment by the children who do traditional Thai songs and dance with such grace and pride.  There is the ritual where reverence is shown for the King which includes all standing with lit candles and singing the royal anthem and to the King, finishing with a rousing and heartfelt "Long Live the King!" 

It is all done with such love and sincerity and dignity that it just touches your heart, making you feel that there is something here that is just so real and to be truly treasured. 

So I experienced yet again the beautiful and dignified side of the Thais.  It is now the day after the birthday and political conflict remains unresolved.  So what next?  The general feeling seems to be that it will be back to the streets for more action.  We will wait and see. 

In the midst of it all, the trees and the decorations are up, the silly but appealing songs are being played and Christmas will go on, no matter what.  Enjoy the season!

We graduated

Yes, they graduated!  Anum and Cornelius are two young Pakistani Catholics who fled their country with their family due to real threats posed by Muslim extremists.  Like all the other urban refugees here, they have found themselves stuck in a difficult situation, focusing their energies on safety and survival, while having their case for refugee status and resettelment dealt with by UNHCR. 

I can pick up from home, even from good friends, how much misunderstanding and misinformation exist around refugees and asylum seekers in our world. 

Firstly, I only share in response to such on the basis of this case of two members of one family and from my experience of them. 

They did not choose to leave their homeland.  Their family had to flee for the sake of security. 

While stuck in Bangkok, they have made the most of even limited opportunities and have done their best to get on with life. 

They both partook of an opportunity that came their way through the generosity of ACU (Australian Catholic University) which offers a diploma course in Liberal Arts to young adults in the refugee population in Thailand.  As students in this course, I have been their tutor for the past 15 months. 

What I have seen in these two young people is that they would be worthwhile additions to any society and, even if only for a short time, they would make a great contribution to their community and society. 

As they persevered in their studies within a challenging environment, I saw their courage and their ability to rise above adversity.  They did graduate but it was hard work and they did it. 

Like any young person, they have dreams and hopes for a future.  These may go on hold while they are coping with an interim period in life that focuses on finding a new home.  Still they are people like you and me and seek to make a go of life as best they can.  So far, Anum and Cornelius have done themselves proud and are to be admired, not misunderstood from a distance. 

ICAAP11

My week has focused on participating in the 11th International Congress on AIDS in Asia and the Pacific (ICAAP11) which was held here in Bangkok.  It was educational, lively and entertaining, meeting so many great characters and strong individuals.  I gained many insights.  I won't bore you by listing them all but simply wish to share one that, after eight years of living here, linked a couple of more dots in my jigsaw puzzle named Thailand.

One issue that continues to plague people with HIV/AIDS, and was identified strongly at ICAAP, is discrimination.  I listened to a presentation on a programme in northern Thailand that helps young Thais who are HIV positive deal with discrimination.  I thought that, time and again, I hear westerners coming here say that they find a society where ones are free to be themselves.  That may be true living in Bangkok but my understanding and hunch is that this is not necessarily so for Thais, especially in rural Thailand, where expectations may be quite strong.  What they experience is huge pressures to conform to family and local expectations.  I have just never been sure how it works here or what it is like for a Thai who is different from the expected social norms.  It does seem freer but I read and see otherwise in reality.  This week I got my answer - I think.  At least, it is a reasonable theory. 

Whether or not stigmatization as a result of being different is real in Thai society, what matters more is what one experiences.   This is named as self-stigmatization where internally one is harsh on oneself for being different and so stigmatizes oneself.  So there is a stigma in being HIV+ or gay but that may be self-imposed as one feels the expectations of  society and sees how they can't meet them. 

In Thailand, this happens within a society that has shame as one of its pillars.  If you don't fit into your place or do wrong, you are shamed.  Now shame is a basic control mechanism and this is in a society where members are highly controlled.  The fact is that all Thais know their place in a highly structured and hierarchical society.  They can't step out of their allotted place in the tree.  So what do you do if you so obviously don't fit in where you are supposed to?  You feel bad about yourself.  You come to feel ashamed.  You end up stigmatizing yourself, not needing outside others to do it for you.  So maybe this explains how Thai society deals with those who are different - they have a social structure that lets those outside the norm destroy themselves and so no one else needs to do anything at all.  Very effective way of social control!

Fascinating theory!  Amazing Thailand!

Heart Wrenching and Searching for a way to respond

"Feel so sorry for the people of the Philippines, wish there was some practical way to help."  So writes a friend on her Facebook from Australia. 

I concur with my good friend and identify with such feelings.  I have seen the stories on BBC about the devastation in Leyte and Samar and beyond and am just so moved and so feel for these lovely people who are once again suffering so much.  The challenge becomes - what to do?  I shared with another friend in an email during the week that
"I (found) it heart wrenching to see the stories on the Philippines post-typhoon.  Such devastation and suffering!  How do the people keep going?  I suppose they have no choice and their faith keeps rising up.  I am going to a mass for the disaster victims on Friday ..." 

As people of faith, prayer in solidarity with these people is a key response that cannot be undervalued nor underrated.  Neither, as people of faith, should we use this key response as an excuse for not doing anything practical - no matter how small or insignificant we may think our effort is.  We do what we can and we act on both fronts - prayer and action in solidarity.  Both ways of responding matter and our response on both fronts matters and is important.  Prayer and action go together.  That is what our Christian faith is about. 

I see the Filipinos themselves teaching us this with their prayers and their undertaking all sorts of acrtions around the world on their part to help in whatever practical way.  So maybe a prayer and a donation is what we need to do, and keep on praying. 

A Great Experience of Thais and Thailand

During this week, I had a most happy and positive experience of Thailand and Thais.  For me who is so much always at work and ministry and facing all sorts of issues in the midst of the daily rigours, I can easily lose sight of the beauty of here and its peoples.  My experience of this week that I share here was a welcome and needed reminder for me of how people can be so gracious, warm and generous in a world that can be easily overcome by harsher realities or ongong struggles and challenges.

My experience was as the Director of NCCM (National Catholic Commission of Thailand).  ON Wednesday, I went along with our team to a local Thai government office to sign an agreement between its education authority and NCCM in helping Burmese migrant workers. 

I was there listening to what was being said by the Thai government director and taking in the whole experience.  I was touched by his graciousness, friendliness and kindness.  I was touched by the commitment being expressed by all his staff in wanting to help poor Burmese working here in their country.  The local manager was humourous and welcoming.  He showed understanding of ones caught in a most desperate situation.  It struck me that we are sitting around this work table being involved in very human endeavors to do good for those less well off and it was all being done so graciously.  A normal workplace activity is touching into deeper human realities. 

Such an experience makes one feel good and reaffirms one's faith in humanity.  I saw in the work ways being used to address everyday themes of life that adversely affect others that we were touching into what we are really about in life and as part of humanity - helping each other along the way.  For me, the experience spoke of the deeper nature of humanity being touched by ordinary citizens in ordinary ways as they endeavour to do good for the sake of others less well off in our world. 

Is that not what life is really about?  Helping and loving each other in real ways and as we can!

The Christmas tree is already up

Yes, I went past Central World yesterday in central Bangkok during this week and saw that they are already putting up one of the city's great Christmas trees.  This is a Buddhist country and even here the tree goes up two months before Christmas and let me tell you it is sweltering hot.  No snow here! 

The scene, as I see it, strikes me as nearly surrealistic, while also giving me a sense of hope.  While I may be shocked to see a Christmas tree so early in Buddhist Thailand, it also tells me that the end of the year is near.  It is going so quickly.  I have faced and done so much in the ten months already spent and think - I have gotten this far and done it!  There is a sense of achievement, while there is still much to do.  That is life. 

And this on the week that features the Feast of All Saints!  While at mass that day, I found myself automatically referring to and giving thanks to Saint Jack and Saint Eileen, my parents who feature on this site.  This happened naturally and was the first time that I had such a strong sense of who mum and dad now are.  It was a warm experience and I found myself getting teary.  So it was also a strong experience.  This is who they are and speaks of where they are - saints with God.  They will never be canonised by the Church but they don't have to be and I don't have to wait for that to happen for them to be saints.  Saints are with God and we can declare our own saints in good faith and in line with a God who is with us all.  They have done their bit, made their contribution and now gone to God, while remaining with us.  They have no more to do in our world to make their contribution. 

So simply, Saints Jack and Eileen, pray for us!

Did you know?

Well, for us in Thailand, Wednesday was a holiday.  It was in honour of the great Thai King of just over 100 years ago - King Rama V or King Chulalongkorn.  I would see him as the Thai version of our Queen Victoria. 

Well, I thought that was what Wednesday was all about until I came upon this sign in my travels that tells me that Wednesday was also Creation Day.  I never knew.  It's all thanks to the hard work of the good Archbishop James Ussher.  What a mathematical mind he must have had.  It just amazes me what people will commit their energies to in life. 

Where do we commit ours?

I was at an interagency meeting yesterday for all those helping urban refugees.  One who spoke reminded me of a central motivation for our working in this area or for reaching out to any vulnerable and desperate group - passion!!  If you don't have passion for them, why do it? 

I wonder what the good Archbishop James Ussher had passion for.  He must have had lots of passion for something to do what he did.

Give it to someone who needs it

Due to security concerns, one of the refugee families I know had to move into a new apartment last week.  I visited to see their new place.  Being Catholic, they asked me to bless their new home which I happily did.  Then I could see movement that told me they were getting money to give me for the blessing.  My inner reaction was that they can't do this as they have no money to spare for themselves.  This evolved into an inner argument as I also recognised that I had to respect their dignity and to refuse such an offering could be insulting as it would be saying - you can't do this because you are poor.  At all costs, they were to be shown respect. 

Then they did give me money but with this line - Here, give this to a family that needs it.  This action touched me deeply as it said that a family that could be seen as having nothing was grateful for what it had and wanted to share what little they had with others less well off. 

In my life and mission, I have the great privilege and honour of seeing the goodness and greatness of ordinary people. 

The long lost relative

A highlight of my week was meeting a long, lost relative and it happened here in Bangkok.  He is a second cousin that I met once before and that was in 1991 in Manila.  I had gone for an immersion experience and staying at the Columban Fathers' house where he was then spending a year on pastoral experience as a seminarian.  Now 22 years later I meet him in Bangkok while he and his partner are here in Thailand on holidays. 

The three of us had a pleasant dinner together.  What struck me was how easily we clicked.  The conversation was natural and enjoyable and more than just about the weather.  It was as if we had been friends for years.  That may speak of the family connection but it may also speak of who we are.  It also struck me how life changes and we move on.  He now has his life partner and I have my life mission and here we connect just as we did 22 years ago in such a natural and friendly manner.  This happened this week within the context of our present life realities which are not the same as in 1991 and in a totally different city, but yet again outside Australia.  The realities may not be the same but the friendly coming together of long lost relatives has remained the same. 

A good reflection on life.   We grow older, we learn more, we take on new tasks, our circumstances change, we move forward as best we can.  We may think that so much has changed but all the while the basics remain with us - striving to be good people in relationship who enjoy great and life long friendships and relationships with family and friends.  It is all a reminder of what is really important in life - who we are with others on the journey of life. 

Lost in Bangkok

Well this is my second week back from Australia.  Come Tuesday this week, I had what I would call a "Lost in Bangkok Day".  That is the name that came to me quite naturally.  Now, what do I mean by this? 

Coming back, I have felt refreshed, relaxed and energised.  It makes me think I should go away more often.  Then by Tuesday, a week after returning, all the issues of working in my Bangkok were mounting up again. They are all the same, old issues - dealing with the ways of Thais doing business and Church which can come across as just being erratic and disorganised.  It all just goes on and becomes so tiring.  Instead of becoming upset or stressed out, I stood back for a day and that was Tuesday.  The internal experience of that day for me was that of being lost in Bangkok and I just persevered in feeling lost for the day and see where that went.

Maybe it went nowhere and that was hard for me as I like my work and ministry and like to feel that I have achieved something each day.  So I had to keep telling myself to remain lost for just today.  Okay, my day's outputs were low but, by now, I can see the impact.  My "Lost in Bangkok Day" has allowed me to be more effective personally in the following days.  I don't feel pressured to act or change what I can't change.  I just keep doing my work in ministry and try to be pro-active in what I do.  I even keep listening more.  A much better way to go! 

We all need our "Lost in Bangkok Days"!!

I sure am back

This is my first Sunday back in Bangkok and I had 10am mass at the cathedral.  I was joined by an annual visitor to the cathedral. 

He is Fr Peter, a Thai Redemptorist, assigned to Korea.  He returns home every year and comes to mass at the cathedral to thank a Thai woman in the congregation for the help she gives him.  It seems that he is her personal project. 

Well each year, I ask him to speak at the end of mass and each year he uses that time to thank her personally in front of the whole congregation.  We all know who she is as he publicly names her.  This year, he also named that she gave him 2.1 million baht which is something like $70,000.  This is nothing to be sneezed to be at. 

The whole happening is so expressive of Thai culture.  I would thank someone publicly but never in the way it is done here, personally naming and glorifying the person in front of everyone and naming the amount.  I would find that embarrassing and crass.  To do this back home would be bad taste in the extreme but here the woman just loves the attention.

A cultural factor at play is that a wealthy, Thai Catholic may happily give a Thai priest 2.1 million baht but would never think of giving even one baht to help poor Burmese or other poor foreigners in their midst. Thai Catholics have this overriding sense of seeing the Thai Church as being for Thai Catholics and as only helping poor Thais.  There is a lack of a missionary sense in this Church.        

Another cultural factor is that Thai Catholics remain so Buddhist in their practice.  By giving to the priest, they are making merit.  In doing so, they favour Thai priests.  In the Buddhist tradition, they will favour giving to the poor by giving to the priest who can then give to the poor.  I hear it said that the way to Nirvana is via the saffron robes of the monk. In the Church, that is applied to the priest.    

Don't get me wrong.  Fr Peter is a lovely guy.  I enjoy his annual visit.  In many ways, he is so full of life.  He is just being gracious as a Thai in a Thai way.  Meanwhile, I sit there and cringe as I hear him speak.  What is at play is culture and I appreciate that. 

Today's experience told me that I am truly back in Thailand.  Good to be home with its many challenges and questions for me. 

It's back home to Bangkok

My long awaited stay back home is over.   I knew that it was to be a special and needed time following my parents' death.  I just didn't know what that meant in reality.  So I guess it all unfolded and I definitely could not have planned my time any better.  There have been stages to it as it evolved but it has come now to a natural end. 

It has been more than a holiday.  It has been a journey, truly for me a pilgrimage through which I feel better connected to my roots and myself and significant others. 

Lourdes, it is not, but Australia is quite a place.  What has come back to me is how Australians are so naturally and outwardly friendly.  It is a great way to be and makes one feel right at home.  While being here, I have experienced such kindness and generosity.  It all does warm the heart and renew one's soul.

Living in Bangkok, I was struck by the blue skies and sunshine of Australia, even in a bleak but lovely Melbourne.  The quietness was also a welcome change.  There is much that is so good about Australia and Australians.  It makes you wonder about the many problems and nearly hang-ups facing Australia.  I just ask - Why is it going the way it is when there is so much going for it? 

Roll on Bangkok!

Greetings while on pilgrimage

Guess who went to meet the Pope?  Yingluck Shinawatra, the Prime Minister of  Thailand, is seen here meeting Pope Francis.  She met him on September 12 while in Rome.  I guess that is her little pilgrimage and I share this as I am also having my little pilgrimage and we are both from Thailand. 

Ever since mum and dad died last year, I have known that I have needed to come home, and here I am.  Now After two weeks in Brisbane, I can name my time here as my personal pilgrimage.  

As I look at my time away so far, I see how it has naturally developed into steps or stages.  I have had my time with my family and saying Goodbye to mum and dad.  Then there is the local Church time through being at Corinda-Graceville parish at weekends.  I am now into my time with my Province and then there come the friends.  I can see how each step has been important and has been about reconnecting, healing and reconsolidating. 

I could not have planned this.  As I look at my trip home so far, I find it amazing and definitely God planned.  Like any pilgrimage, it will end and that will be with my return to Bangkok.  From there, I am not sure where this God trodden path will lead me but I am sure all this has a purpose and is life giving.  

More to follow as the pilgrimage has not ended and the journey is ongong. 

Touching base

Guess where I am?  Yeah, back home in Australia for three weeks.  It is time to go back to my roots and see what that has to say to me. 

 A year ago, mum and dad had died and since then I have felt a need to come home and touch base.  I can't explain it as it has just been something I have felt inside of me.  I have wanted to see their grave and Jack Murray Place (a park named after dad).  I have wanted to see again where I come from and meet some of those people who formed me in some way.  Maybe I don't have to explain.  So here I am. 

As my time for returning to Australia came closer, I saw other more pressing themes at play.  My Bangkok and my context for ministry in the Thai Church were becoming crazier.  I could see how I needed to stand back from my reality for a bit so as to look at what I am in the midst of and reassess.  Imagine having urban refugees banging at your door continually and wondering what to do in response to such desperately presented levels of need.  Imagine ever having to deal with ways of others acting in the Thai workplace that just keep producing the same unwanted results and how tiring that gets. 
 
This is a short and gifted time to touch base and personally regroup and see where to in a more productive and life-giving way in my life and mission in Thailand.  This is a special time.  It is good to be back here.   

That's what friends are for!

During the week, I had dinner with a good friend.  She was upset about something and wanted to talk.  Apparently, in the last week, a long term friend had challenged her with a personal issue and she had found it hurtful.  When she began her story with sharing the opening line of her friend's challenge to her, I thought, "Oh, my God!" 

Why?  It began with the classic
"It's because you are a friend that I am telling you this."

Experience tells me to watch out when someone begins with a line like this as it is probably going to be a bombshell and this one was. 

There may have been basis for concern and the issue may be real but it was all approached the wrong way as she was confronted with the judgement already made for her, telling her what was wrong and what she should do about it.  She was also confronted with how all her friends have made the same judgement and have been talking about her.  It was now this friend's dutiful position and perceived right to tell her all.  It is all a bit presumptuous. 

Not the way to go!  That is my take and is based on my own experience of such wonderful acts of kindness done by good friends out of their sense of duty.  Why do they think they need to act as judge for the sake of another?  People have to make their decisions for their lives and come to them in good ways for themselves.  The 'dive bomber' approach of any good friend is not helpful and produces ill feeling that adds to any issue that may be at play. 

Such an approach shows a lack of respect for the person targeted, making their decision for them and not letting them see what is at play for themselves.  There is the sense of betrayal as the one confronted thinks that these are my friends but they talk about me and one of them just confronts as if I am the problem and have all the problem; as if I am bad.  "I'm not!"

There are better ways to approach issues with friends as a friend.  Spanish has a great word to describe it - "companero".  This means being a companion on the journey with each other, instead of just dutifully coming in and pronouncing judgements for the other to deal with. 

Then there is that song that comes to mind.  It is Dionne Warwick's "That's What Friends Are For". 
It goes like this. 
"Keep smiling, keep shining 
Knowing you can always count on me, for sure 
That's what friends are for 
For good times and bad times 
I'll be on your side forever more
That's what friends are for" 

I did feel for my friend and understood and even felt her hurt.  This is for her. 

Yes, it was Mother's Day in Thailand.

Monday was the Queen's Birthday in Thailand.  It was also Mother's Day.  It is a day that focuses on honouring the Queen.  There are government funded, community celebrations to which they all turn up, get free food, talk and watch the entertainment provided by the children.  If there are enough funds, the show will finish with fireworks. 

Tuesday, I went along as the Director of NCCM - National Catholic Commission on Migration - with our delegation to meet the Government Director of anti-Trafficking in Women and Children.  Yes, that happens here and out of here.  Trafficking is the modern day and quite antiseptic term for what used to be called slavery.  Name it for what it is. 

Then Thursday was the Feast of the Assumption of Mary.  I went to the nearby Marist Brothers' community for mass and dinner to celebrate the feast.  They had a visitor who was another one of those great characters in life that you would only meet living in a Bangkok.  She was a woman from Costa Rica working here with ECPAT - End Child Pornography and Trafficking - which has its international base here. 

So it has been somewhat a Week for Women and Children, recognising their strength and goodness and acknowledging how they can be abused and put down by evil forces in our world. 

My Thursday and Friday were spent at a consultation workshop on urban refugees.  The participants were refugees themselves and ones from NGOs working for them.  In one exercise, we were asked to name the players in the life of refugees, identifying how powerful and helpful each player was in helping refugees in their plight.  As I did the exercise, I could see that powerful players were not necessarily the most helpful, but could be the exact opposite.  I could also see that the real power did not necessarily belong to those so readily named as being the most powerful, even if they are the big and strong government and non-government institutions dealing in this area. 

The real power lay with the refugees themselves.  As I heard their able representatives share their stories and saw what they were doing to act on their lives, they gave me life and hope in what can be a most frustrating and tiring field of work and ministry.  For the wider refugee population, no matter how despairing their lot may be, I could see that it becomes a challenge of recognizing their power for themselves and seizing it to act for good in their lives. 

They can do it!  That was my catch cry by the end of Friday.  If they can act for themselves in facing up to such hardships as they know, so can we all!

We're all included

This is the icon of the Ascension.  It shows Mary in the midst of the apostles, with the risen Jesus there above them commissioning them to go forth.  As I count the apostles, I count only 10 but, with the demise of Judas, there should be 11.  So where is the 11th?  It is the person contemplating the icon - me.  That person becomes the 11th apostle.  That is the nature of the icon as it draws in the ones who are contemplating it. 

 

This gem of spiritual wisdom was shared during my week by Br Emili, the Superior-General of the Marist Brothers.  I was impressed by him as a most spiritual man.  Like me, he was at Hua Hin for the first Chapter of the Brothers' new Marist District of Asia. 

 

This whole initiative of the Marist Brothers focusing on mission in Asia arose out of a Church push to make this millennium the Millennium for Asia.  As we reflected at their chapter, we recognised how God has been here all along in a continent so rich in culture, history, religion and tradition.  So it was never about coming here to give God but to discover the God who is here.  They talked of the Asian face of God and the rich spirituality surrounding rice which is so much more than just a basic food. 

 

What impressed me about the group at this gathering of the Brothers and those who journey with them is how people of spirituality come to a foreign continent and recognise the God here and allow that God to speak to them.

 

Surviving in Bangkok

Yeah, that's right!  One way to survive in Bangkok is to smile a lot.  Maybe not a lot of Thais smile in Bangkok as it is another big city with all that goes with that.  Still they call Thailand "The Land of Smiles".  They all love a smile here and such a simple gesture can get you a long way.  That's the same anywhere, isn't it? 

I'm into survival mode thinking at the moment, not for me, but for the urban refugees in Bangkok.  They need to stay out of trouble and keep low so as to survive difficult times they know in living here and this is my topic at a UNHCR orientation for new arrivals to be held this coming week. 

I'm at a meeting during the week with UNHCR there and I am sharing on my present vision for helping the refugee population arising out of their increasingly dire predicament here.  I am about there not being enough help available to respond to the need and that it does not work helping just a few in the midst of such a high needs population as you are  not responding fairly and equitably to the whole population which then indulges in all sorts of undignified behaviour to get help.  In the whole process, these people can lose their dignity and sense of self-respect as they fight, cry and beg for help. 

I was dumbfounded by a UNHCR officer at the meeting who expressed his amazement that we talking about such a topic.  It may not have been on the agenda nor about policy but this is a bread and butter issue.  He may not have wanted this topic discussed but I got my issue aired and out there in that forum.  So I was happy. 

It made me think - "How true, Pope Francis!  The Church is not to become an NGO."

There are other people in the world

This is my picture of my week.  If a picture tells 1,000 words, then this is it for me!! 

I was waiting at my bus stop on Monday, when this young, Thai guy arrives on his bicycle to go to a shop.  What does he do?  Get off his bike and park it across the footpath as a barrier to all pedestrian traffic.  He wouldn't have thought of anything other than he wants to go to this shop at the bus stop.  This is so typical of here. 

Every day, Thais walk along and drive and act as if there is no one else in the world.  Some say it is the Buddhist psyche which is so self-absorbing.  No matter what, there are other people in the world and we have to think of them. 

This makes me then think of back home.  Aren't we the same?  Not think of others so often?  Then along comes the Rudd PNG Solution on asylum seekers and the ongoing hype surrounding this issue in Australia.  It is as if Australians have become besotted by this one issue, seeing it as threatening the fabric of their society and so turning their psyche upside down.  It seems that Australia has become self-absorbed in preserving and defending their own little world, not being mindful of others in the world.  It is as if the world stops at Darwin and no Australian has a sense of what reality is like for so many in the world beyond there.  

Have we forgotten that we are connected to each other?  Maybe floundering in our being disconnected, we become more aware of the value of and need for our being connected.   

Meanwhile, Happy Buddhist Lent!  It began on Tuesday and goes for some three months.  It is to be a time for quiet and reflection.   

It's a year!

It's a year this week since mum and dad died.  I had been wondering all last week what to do to give these significant days the due attention they deserved and I needed to give for myself. 

I had given serious consideration to asking Frank, a Marist priest new here on mission from New Zealand, to join me on Monday, mum's anniversary, for mass at my place and then dinner at Nando's.  The Marist mission is in the south and he is presently here in Bangkok studying Thai.  I thought about it hard and decided not to as he is but a new arrival in my life. 

Last Friday then, it struck me to ask Robert.  Why didn't I think of him before?  Robert is a great friend from the cathedral.  So I rang and asked Robert if we could have mass at his place on Friday evening which is the day of dad's anniversary.  He was delighted.  So we could have a quiet and meaningful mass for both mum and dad at the end of an eventful week.  Way to go!

Then on Monday afternoon this week when back in my apartment, I was checking my Facebook and saw Frank's post for the day which included this photo of him around ordination time.  It told me that the same day as mum's first anniversary was his 13th anniversary of ordination.  The same day!  It was uncanny!  I was then so glad that I had not asked him about joining me on Monday for mum as that would have been a dampener on his own day. 

Then it struck me.  Two such events on the same day involving people connected through me speak of our reality and how life moves on, no matter what.  The happy, the sad; life and death - all goes on and as it should.   

Tomorrow is Friday and as I prepare to go to Robert's, I remember that his own mum is 91 and not all at well.  Life does go on and our reality is very much shared. 

It takes many hands.

This week, my life featured Barry and three other Australians coming my way.  The photo shows the other three Australians - three young women from Brisbane here as part of the Presentation Sisters' Cross-cultural Ministry Program.  Barry comes on a regular basis as a volunteer to work with me at BRC (Bangkok Refugee Centre) and then up north to be with Br Anurak on his agricultural leadership project with hill tribe peoples.  The latter is his real love and so that is where he is focusing his energies for now.  This time, he came without his wife, Maria, who helps the incredible Sr Joan Evans pbvm, who lives and works with the poor of Bangkok.  Barry would be in the photo except that he was too shy and my photo skills with my new camera are just too lacking. 

As I hosted my visitors, it struck me that this experience for me was about sharing the mission, the endeavours, the challenges with others, three of whom I had never met before.  I found it energising and humbling that people would go to such lengths to become involved with their fellow human beings, especially in their need. 

It reminds me again that I might be here on my own working away but I am not alone.  All sorts of people come my way here and I work with all sorts of people in different capacities.  I am definitely not alone and neither is there any future in being alone.  No matter how much good you might be doing along the way, being an isolated loner is not the way to go.  It does take many hands to live life and work in mission.  Thank God, they're there for me and with me, and I'm there for and with them.  That's how life chugs along. 

It all looks good

This is what greeted my week following my annual nightmare of dealing with Thai bureaucracy in getting my yearly visa and work permit.  As I was waiting at the front of the cathedral to begin 10 o'clock mass that I saw right in front of me this wonderful display of roses, sitting at the foot of the statue of JPII which stands right outside the cathedral. It was such a delight.  I would name their appearance as my natural turning around point after a stressful previous week. 

The roses here are so beautiful and bountiful and can be used so readily as they are so cheap in Thailand.  So roses, and mountains of them, are often used to adorn the sanctuary of the cathedral.  It is quite a sight. 

Displays of roses at the cathedral speak of life in Thailand where image and presentation are all important.  The presentation may always be 100% but this may not necessarily reflect the reality. 

During the week, I had a discussion with a younger and senior staff member where I work at Caritas Thailand.  I was talking with him about a ceratin, unhealthy managment practice at our workplace.  He responded to my criticism with anger.  I was shocked and was asking myself - Where was this response coming from? 

It came from what he heard and what he heard was not a criticism of a work practice but a criticism of "Thai culutre" as this was happening in Thailand and the criticism was coming from an outsider.  Well, this encounter led to what I hope was an educational discussion on culture. 

I proceeded to share how each culture has good and bad and how no one culture is 100% perfect.  In our coming together, we can learn from each other's culture and we all have a lot to learn.  So there is no need to be defensive.  Rather open our minds to the other and to the bigger picture.  I also sincerely shared that I talked at this level with him as I see great promise in him and he can do so much in life.  As I see it, to move forward he just needs to open up to the other and see other possibilities in life and not be held back by the prison like construct of his own particular culture which they see as needing defending against all comers. 

That is the weakness here of their culture.  They are rightly proud of who they are and what they have but they seem to have the need to defend what the call "Thai culture", seemingly labelling their way as the only way and the perfect way.  This then acts to close them off from learning from others, other cultures and even others' mistakes.  There is something impressive about their stance but it is unwise and counterproductive, as it stops them taking the next step in meeting the other and learning from the outside world. 

We may like to look good but that doesn't tell the whole picture. 

Trust

During the past week, trust has definitely been my chosen and purposely, internally reinforced theme for the sake of my own survival as yet again I have faced my annual visa renewal stresses.  What was it this year? 

Well, I get my visa and work permit through a Foundation.  This means that my papers are first sent to the Ministry of Social Development where they are inspected so that a letter of approval can be issued for me to get my visa to stay in Thailand.  Being aware that my visa expires next week, I have been waiting and waiting to get this letter so that I can then go to Immigration.  Why, I have been asking, was it taking so long for a one page, form letter to arrive? 

The official answer was that the Director of this Ministry has a mountain of such applications which require his attention as only he can sign any letter of approval.  For me, this is all part of the bureaucratic nightmare that is the Thai government.  You might need to get your visa and it might be about to expire but no one cares or rushes as you just have to stand back and allow the required government process take its time and be followed.  Nothing will take it off track or rush it.  There is absolutely nothing you can do when faced with the reality of Thai bureaucracy.  You feel stressed out and worry. Knowing that won't achieve anything, you try to cut out the stress but it remains.  All you can do is trust. 

And you know what?  In the end, trust did work.  Thai bureaucracy might be a nightmare but it is a nightmare for everyone - Thai and foreigner.  What worked for me as for all of us in this situation is the other side of the reality.  Namely, it was the good people who are my friends and work for me who helped me make it through to the other side and get all the paper work done (and there is a mountain of it) so that I could renew my visa just in time. 

I must remember the lesson of this week.  Trust does work because of faith in a good end and because of good people in your life who help you get there.  So 'trust and be' is the way to go.  The picture says it all - just be who you are and trust in the way ahead and that it will all work out okay.  What better choice is there?   

A Picture Tells a Thousand Words

Well, today, 20th June, is World Refugee Day and I did go to the celebrations at BRC. 

They say a picture tells a thousand words.  So my story today is the pictures I share.  They tell it all.  Just look at the faces - so happy and so proud. 

I followed my colleague's advice and I did use the day to connect with the good people who help these refugees.  I also followed my own hunch and came to support the ones I walk with in my ministry.  They teach me so much.  Thanks heaps!  I respect you so and pray for you everyday. 

20th June each year is World Refugee Day.  Each year it is a huge celebration at the Bangkok Refugee Centre (BRC), with a UNHCR speech, with a UNHCR budget for the party, with the refugees coming in droves to put on a show, see the show, enjoy the activities and have a feed - complete with ice-cream.  The refugees love it.  Maybe it is the free feed, maybe it is the free entertainment, maybe it is the socialising, maybe it is the chance to show off and tell the world "We are here!".  It is definitely a day they all look forward to and love.

Despite all this, it is a day each year when I face the same dilemma.  I ask - What are we celebrating? People's misery?  Every other day of the year I can't get a bottle of milk through UNHCR to feed a hungry child of an asylum seeker family as they are not within their funding categories but, on this day, UNHCR comes forward with the big budget to put on the big show for all to see - not just the refugees but also their partners and others.  Is this about a big show for UNHCR? 

So I wrestle with trying to make sense of what we are celebrating and its purpose.  I share with a couple of ones I trust and respect in this area of work and I come to make some sense of it all. 

It is about letting the refugees celebrate and enjoy themselves just for one day in the year, letting them show off and show outsiders a good side to who they are as they entertain and share their identity.  They feel some pride in doing this.  So let them be proud of who they are, whereevr they may come from. It is also about letting donors see the positive side and so invite them in a positive way to support these people who need every bit of support.

So I guess I keep my dilemma to myself for the sake of the greater good of the refugees.  I will go to BRC for the day and join in with everyone else.  Still my two big questions do remain.  Are we celebrating people's misery as they await a homeland?  How does UNHCR get money for this but not to help these people survive the rest of the year? 

My questions may seem strange to others but they are my questions and I have the right to question and make my little protest.  I will just have to find a good and constructive way not to seek the answers but to fly the questions because they are mine and they need to be heard.   

Jack Murray Place

Last Sunday, the local council named a park after dad, calling it Jack Murray Place.  If you read the sign that names the park, it reads as follows:
"John P Murray MBE was a respected and distinguished member of the Nundah community until his passing in 2012.  He was active in the Rotary Club of Nundah, the Salvation Army Red Shield Appeal, Nundah Scouts, Combined Service Clubs Committee and was a founding member of the Golden Years Centre (now Nundah Activities Centre).  He owned and operated California Drycleaners in Nundah for many years and was fondly known as 'California Jack'."

This says a mouthful about dad in his community.  His life was mum and the family, his Church, his community and the business, and they were all intertwined.   

Like I said about little Nicky in my last entry, we all come from somewhere.  This statement on dad speaks of where I come from and of what makes me who I am. 

When at school, I remember always wanting to be a priest.  Every year, I would put my hand up to talk with the priest who was the Vocations Director when he came to visit school.  At a time, that was replced by wanting to be an Air Force pilot but being a priest remained paramount.  On finishing Year 12, I naturally went to the seminary.  It was there I had my first, great questioning about my vocation and so I left to find my answers. 

In part, my questioning at that time arose because I saw dad and how he was so involved in the community, doing so much good.  At the age of 18, it made me think that you don't have to be a priest to do good.  I could just be a good person like dad and not have all the other stuff with being a priest.  So I had to go away and answer this question for myself.  Do I have to be a priest to do good?  Of course, I know that I don't but back then it was not so clear.  Looking back, dad was such a strong influence on what I wanted to do in life that it made me question how to do what I wanted to do and who to be to achieve it. 

Obviously for me, the answer over much time and struggle is that to be me and to do what I choose to do in life is to be a priest.  It is my way to serve, to live life and face its struggles.  Dad had his way.  I have mine.  The two are both about following the same story line but in our own unique ways.   Like Mark Twain, it took me time but I have come to appreciate my father's rightful place in my life and for that I am truly grateful. 

He's only a three year old boy.

Nicky is a little boy with a big smile and big, open eyes.  He draws you in immediately with his personal magnetism, proceeding to engage you in his young and enthralling conversation.  As you are around him, you have to keep reminding yourself that he is still only a three year old boy.  Where did such a boy come from? 

His parents are Sri Lankan, having fled their country due to personal safety threats.  This led them to Thailand to seek refugee status.  Since being here, they have had their little boy who has never been inside Sri Lanka. His parents are both intelligent and competent adults, taking up so capably the challenge not just to survive but to live.  They have created ways ahead in the midst of their own traumatic story, never having been defeated by all the hardships and disappointments that have come their way.  So many of us would never know half of what they have gone through in their time here. 

So that is where Nicky comes from.  It is no wonder he is who he is - a little boy full of life and just so bright and happy.  He is loved by all at the Bangkok Refugee Centre.  Just recently, he started what we would call kindergarten and he now appears in his school uniform.  He looks so cute. He may be three but he can confidently speak to you in English, Thai or Sinhalese. 

In the midst of a small but desperate and ravaged population that is my urban refugee community, and some community it is, there are many signs of hope.  Nicky is but one.  He may only be a three year old boy but he sure shines forth a heap of hope and that is what this community needs.  And isn't that what we all need?

The lessons of a workshop or two

I have spent three days this week at workshops.  One was on human rights and development, while the other was on migrants in ASEAN.  A common theme in both is how the theory and the ideal do not match up with the reality.  There is a real disconnect.  Yes, we hold to human rights but ...  Yes, there are policies and principles to follow but ....  I guess that is nothing specific to Southeast Asia.  It just speaks of humanity. 

My other highlight of the week has been my annual medical check-up for renewing my work permit.  It is a Thai government requirement and so you do it but it is the biggest waste of money and time.  You are tested for tertiary syphillis and passed as not having"leprosy, elephantitis, mental retardation, alcoholism or drug addiction".  When the doctor sees you, not a word is spoken.  She just does the blood pressure and the stethoscope thing.  The only sense I make of it is that it is a local money spinner and a bureaucratic requirement that helps keep you in your place.  If one did not approach it with a sense of humour, one could get quite phased by it all as it is rather prejudicial against one's standing as a decent human being.  Yes, I had a medical check-up but ... 

I guess this is one theme of life generally.  We have systems to make the workplace efficient and effective and present it as such  but ....  Our family, our community is happy and looks after each other but ... We have principles in our life but ...  I live in a culture which has a strong focus on presenting well but I experience and know the reality.  It does fall short of the 'picture perfect' image it wants to present.  We so often fall short.  Still this is no excuse for bad behaviour, unjust systems, ineffective practices, needless suffering.  They may continue but we keep striving and doing our bit, working to make that ideal we vision and so eagerly want to present our reality. 

A Buddhist Holy Day and Holiday

This has been a long weekend as Friday was Visakha Bucha Day in the Buddhist calendar.  It is the most important of Buddhist holy days as it marks the day that Buddha was born, the day of his enlightenment 35 years later and finally his death 45 years after that.  So what happens on such a day here?

Well, it is a public holiday.  The day seems quiet, with little traffic and many Thais leaving Bangkok.  Despite all, shopping continues.  So in many ways it is similar to back home.  It might be a religious holy day but life goes on while everyone enjoys a holiday.  Still what is it that makes it different?   

On such a day, Thais go to the temple and make merit.  Making merit is about giving to the monks so as to gain in one's karma.  The monk becomes one's avenue to salvation or a better next life.  So Thais look after their monks and respect them as they are the holy ones, identified as following Buddha most closely and being channels of  the sacred. 

This is the same sort of approach followed by Thai Catholics in approaching their priests.  They have this great respect for their identified holy men who, for them, show the way to salvation and maybe are the way.  There is a saying that goes something like this - salvation is found through holding onto the robes of the monk.  This says that salvation does not come directly but through an intermediary, the monk who is the public holy one. 

This has real repercussions.  I am doing my grocery shopping after Sunday mass today and meet a Thai woman from church.  When I go to pay for my groceries, she comes from nowhere and pays the cashier for me.  She just says - remember me at mass.  This was a first for me.  I felt uncomfortable but saw what she was doing in light of their culture and beliefs and needed to respect this.  I also thought what a lovely gesture for which I am grateful and accept gratefully. 

Bangkok  might be highly developed but there is much more to here than modern buildings and up to date infrastructure.  It is still Thailand and all that goes with that.  Any number of new buildings can't ultimately hide or take that away.  Thank goodness!    

The Personal and the Social - it's all connected

It is time to move beyond the more personal issues and themes of friends and how we relate to the wider issues facing our world.  I say this and I see already the hole in what I am saying.  Everything is related.  How we relate at the personal level with friends and others is reflected in how we relate with the wider world and the people we don't know and the issues facing it. 

Funny that as I name the wider issues, I start to talk more impersonally.  Why?  For all issues and relationships whether on the one to one level or at the big picture level are personal for they affect and engage real people. 

I found this map giving the global overview of people displaced worldwide due to disasters during 2012.  There was a total of 32.4 million people displaced.  This was almost double the number displaced by disaster in 2011.  This is a great tragedy and yet while we are talking about natural disaster, so much of it is man made.  Why?

These disasters are 98% weather related, being impacted by the effects of climate change.  Those so often affected are the same ones - the poor in whatever country.  Poorer countries with little infrastructure are mostly affected, having less resources available to help those affected.  Then there are those many displaced by conflict - definitely man made. 

On the same Facebook page for Pax Romana, I also discovered a news article on Pope Francis who was speaking on the role of clergy in the Church.  He said:
"We learn poverty from the humble, the poor, the sick.  ...  We have no use for theoretical poverty." 

I see the connection between my two finds for the week.  On one side, needs at all levels and of all kinds are real in our world.  On the other side, the challenge is how we meet them. 

Yes, we face so many challenges when we start to face the issues and needs of our world at both the personal and social levels.  No one need is to be discounted and all are connected in some way through our human fragility and vulnerability. 

I feel the burden in trying to reach out to urban refugees in Bangkok.  Their needs are too much for me to meet and too much for all of us combined who reach out to them in Bangkok.   So my driving philosophy (or surviving philosophy) has become:
"We just do what can do.  It is not our responsibility to solve everybody's problems as we can't and it is not our role.  We are here to help. We are not the only builders of the Kingdom.  We do what we can and we rejoice in what we can do."

I voiced this to Bro Khushi, a Franciscan Brother here from Pakistan, on his bemoaning receiving yet another negative response in seeking help for these desperate people.  I spoke it so immediately and so passionately with him that it tells me that here is a truth for me in my lived reality that is worth sharing. 

Am I becoming too eastern?

Well, Stella, my friend is back home in Australia.  She did get her clothes as she wished.  Then, on Friday, she told me during a phone conversation that the cost of the clothes was far too high and on that basis wouldn't recommend the chosen tailor again.  As I heard her talk, I just kept quiet and took in what was being said. 

Looking back, I could see a basic difference between our two approaches.  Stella focused on the financial side, becoming critical of the tailor.  I focused on the relationship side, not saying anything of much worth and only reflecting to myself how the tailor was so good to her.  Interestingly, both approaches would lead to the same outcome, being that if the tailor was too expensive, then you would try somewhere else.  The difference is in the approach.  Maybe this speaks more of who we are as individuals but it does draw my attention as I wonder if my time here is changing me in how I approach issues. 

In looking at this, I would not say that one approach is better than the other but that each is different and each has its strengths.  No one person or culture has all wisdom.  There is strength in each.  There is time for action, there is time for reflection, but act wisely and with compassion at all times. 

Maybe I can illustrate this by another story of last week.  My manager at the Bangkok Refugee Center, when discussing issues of change with me last week, finished our discussion with this line - Buddha says that change is constant.  To which I replied that we hold to that same truism back home.  She shared this with the underlining Buddhist approach of just passively accepting change.  I retorted that you can just react to change and have change happen to you or you can plan for it and act on it.  The western Christian way is to be pro-active and actively wortk for change for the better.  Interestingly again, Buddha also stresses the value of compassion. 

Once again, we see two different approaches at play.  This time I hold to my western, Christian way as I see the great value in following it.  The gospels call us to be builders of the Kingdom.  How can we be that if we just sit back and wait for whatever change may occur? 

Maybe I am not becoming eastern.  Maybe being here makes me more reflective and more willing to stand back before acting.  I say this because in both cases what drives me is compassion.  With Stella's fair issue, it is compassion for the tailor whom I saw as doing her best, even if she did overcharge.  With the manager's observation from Buddha's teaching on change, it is compassion for the refugees being adversely affected by planned changes.  In both cases, I feel for these people and judge that the way to go is to be pro-active but in a compassionate way for a better outcome.   

Good friends make life

 

Well, Stella's visit to Bangkok has come and gone.  It was  five full days.  We had a shopping mall day.  We had a temple day.  Then there was the heat, the food and the traffic.  It was good fun.  At the end of it all, Om and I put her on the plane and now Bangkok is recovering but worth every minute. 

Om, another good friend, became very much a part of Stella's visit.  As the local, he wanted to join in and help out so that a vistor to his country and one of my friends could have a good time.  He led the shopping venture for a new computer for Stella.  He was our guide when we went to Wat Pho and Wat Arun, two main temples in Bangkok.  He cooked dinner one night and it was delicious.  He even drove Stella to the airport.  He enjoyed her time as well. 

So Stella's visit was a group effort and made more enjoyable and more successful through sharing it with others.  Om was a significant contributor but there were others along the way who also made the experience - Michael at church, Freddy and the Cream, Nando and his spaghetti, Vee and her friendly service in making the outfits.  They all made Stella's visit what it was - enjoyable and memorable.  Oh, I forgot, Om was also the official photographer and surpassed in this endeavour as well. 

Maybe they don't even realise it as they are just being themselves and doing nothing out of the ordinary, other than being helpful, friendly and hospitable selves.  Still it is true.  Life is made special and so much more worthwhile by friends.  Thank God for good friends. 

We all need friends

We all need friends - an overused saying but a truism.  Where would we be without them?  The monks in the picture are on their morning rounds for almsgiving.  Even they need help and look who's helping them. 

A good friend from Australia came to visit me in Bangkok.  It's quite an effort to undertake but Stella wanted to come and here she is.  Om, my great Thai friend here, wanted to come to the airport to greet her.  Thank God he did as he helped with the bags.  Then it was get her to the hotel and what to do for dinner?  What better idea than buy Italian from Nando who has his restaurant by my apartment building.  Nando was very careful to give a great plate of pasta and what a plate it was!  A quest was to find a clothing store where my friend could get clothes made.  I took her to a small clothing business owned by a family I know through the cathedral.  Well, they didn't have the material.  So the woman who runs the business says to Stella that she will take her to the store to buy material.  So off they go. 

The list goes on.  We all need friends.  As St Augustine says, the greatest poverty in life is not to have any friends.  How true!

It was a tough Songkran

At the end of the annual Songkran Festival which happens at the time of Thai New Year, I am on my way to work on the first day back.  And what do I see?  Outside the Tesco Lotus Express right by the Catholic Bishops' Conference Building is a cat sleeping on top of the stacked water . To me, this says it all about where Thailand is at today.  

After five days of holiday and three full-on days of throwing water at each other, people are exhausted.  Much energy was expended and much fun was had.  There were also the stories and the tragedies and the falling-outs that happened along the way.  As always here, I have my story and it speaks of my Bangkok, a city like no other I have ever experienced. 

On Monday night, at the end of the three day Songkran Festival and the massive water throwing, I am outside my apartment building, having presumably a quiet beer with a group of local, western males, living longterm here.  Then onto the scene comes a local Japanese guy with his Thai girlfriend.  They are intent on throwing water at Nando, the guy with our simple, local Italian restaurant.  Yes, the Thai woman is quite absurd and over the top but then what does one of the western guys do?  He throws his glass with beer and it hits the Japanese guy in the face.  There is then a full-on fight between these two.  It happened quickly and I wondered what to do.  This is not a situation I would have expected and not one I seek or engage in.  On the spot, I tried to be the peacemaker but that was not working as it needed a stronger enforcer than I.  In the fracas, the western guy had his computer stolen by a friend of the Japanese fellow.  When the high energies at play dissipated, I acted as consoler. 

What was exhibited by both sides was bizarre and unacceptable behaviour.  You don't throw glasses at people, you don't steal computers and there is no point in violence.  The outcome was two sore and tired bodies, with two angry men, both of whom felt wronged.  It all left a bad taste for everyone there and there was a shared sense of disgust and shock. 

I am always friendly with the guys in my neighbourhood.  I don't get into the local, western drinking routine, avoiding it purposely.  This time I joined them as I had reason to talk with Mickey, a good guy from Canada.  So I was there to witness a part of their group dynamic that arises because a couple of the guys drink too much and can't handle it.  After this, I have decided to avoid totally having a drink with this group but I will always be friendly. 

Then what do I see by the end of the week?  The western guy in the fight is back there at the same table with some of the same others sharing again in their nightly, social round of drinks.  Amazing!  Until the next fight?  Some people never learn until it is too late.  As for me, I am tired of this.  I just stand my ground and think the cat in the picture shows much more wisdom than many western guys in my Bangkok. 

Happy New Year!

I am not mad.  It is New Year but in Thailand.  It is Thai New Year and their big and real New Year.  13, 14 and 15 April are the days for this annual holiday season, otherwise known as Songkran.  This New Year period is shared elsewhere in the region and is celebrated with much water.  The idea is to wash away the bad luck and bad things of the past year and wish well for the year ahead. 

All very lovely but it turns into a mad orgy of water with everyone chucking water at everyone else, using water pistols, buckets and even the fire brigade.  It's true!  You have to see it to believe it.  The truth is that you have adults going wild with water fights and water dousing.  Everybody is a target.  It is all about fun but it is also about letting go and getting rid of all those repressions and tensions that have been holding you back or at least that is how some of us see it.  It is an annual and social way of releasing all those built up tensions and then move on feeling refreshed.  If you can't beat them, you join them.  So I will have my water pistol ready for defence purposes. 

Then here I don't share a picture of a lovely water blessing or of a water fight scene from Songkran but of my parents' grave in Brisbane.  Make no sense?  Well, for me it does.  My mother would hate the word but seeing this photo from my sister, I thought for me it brings some closure (that's the word mum hated).  It's a little bit sad for me to see the photo.  For some reason, as I see it, I also think how lovely.  It tells me in a physical way that mum and dad are at rest and life moves on.  I was reflecting on this on the day that would have been mum and dad's 74th wedding anniversary.  So let's get rid of all that holds us back and move on with life. 

Happy New Year!