I don't have to be always nice

 

One does not become enlightened by imagining figures of light, but by making 

the darkness conscious.   (Carl Jung)   

I follow online a smart, young Thai who, among other roles, is a therapist, who hosts a regular Podcast, discussing life issues.  One of his lines from this forum stays with me.  It was expressed in colloquial American terms that I cannot repeat here, but he basically shared that we can feel free not to be nice all the time. Why should we?  Who said to be nice?  We are challenged to be good, not nice.  

I suffer a bad right knee, for which I am about to go into hospital for an operation.  A good coping  mechanism and constant companion over the last two months has been my walking stick, which unwittingly has become a magnet for much kindness.  

My present stick replaces my original one that broke while I was in Vietnam.  The very day it broke, our pilgrimage group was visiting Phat Diem cathedral and diocesan centre.  My first reaction was to feel panicky, wondering what to do, when away from home.  I then purposely stood my ground, took a deep breath and assured myself that God would look after me, as he had all along on this journey with my knee.  That is another story.   

Once again , God did look after me, in the person of a priest who ran the diocesan pilgrim centre.  He heard of my plight from our tour guide and, without question, gave me one of their pilgrim walking sticks, hand carved no less.   He was so happy to help me, insisting that this was pure gift, saying that they can easily make more sticks.  I was so touched by his kindness towards me, someone he had never before met.  

One of our group on the pilgrimage befriended me and kept an eye on me.  She was consistently so kind.   Over my time with my stick, I have had great experiences of kindness from complete strangers - motorbike taxi drivers, helping me on and off their motorbike; Thai Immigration officers taking pity on me and leading me to the head of the queque; fellow tourists helping me on and off a small boat in the Mekong Delta.  The list is endless.  So much kindness, all because I carry my stick.  

That stick made my vulnerability public.  I was reluctant to take it up.  By doing so, I was putting myself at risk, but the exact opposite happened.  Sharing my vulnerability brought out the best in others and I was the happy receiver of their kindness. So, see!  No one has to be perfect.  No has to be nice all the time.  Rather, we are called to be good    

    

Recognize our true leaders

It stays with me that I was recently wandering around Vietnam, with my eyes wide open, being ever in awe, as I met so many kind, admirable, capable souls, who showed so much awareness of the amazing possibilities of life, despite any adversity.  In My Bangkok, I was reminded of this as I encountered one of our own here, making his First Communion at Sunday mass.  

I approached that simple, Sunday event with no great expectation, just a sense of how best to include this young lad on his big day.  Looking back, I saw how he bravely came forward and naturally turned it all around, by showing us how to lead on his big day.  He did so by spontaneously being his confident and friendly self, just like I experienced so often, with so many young people, whom I met on my travels, through Vietnam.  

For me, over the past month, it has been a privilege and an opportunity to meet true world leaders who pop up in my everyday life, in the midst of the unexpected or unplanned.  They are just there living their lives, doing what they need to do along the way, but they are there leading, and I am so thrilled to meet them and have them lead me along the way.   

Vietnam has left its mark

I have been on Sabbatical 2.0, going on a religious pilgrimage and discovery tour to Vietnam.  I am not here to write a travelogue but, in this case, I am so tempted as I had such great adventures and faced truly exciting and new challenges.  And so, Vietnam has left its mark on me.  

Yes, it is a beautiful country, with vibrant and caring people.  Yes, despite all, or because of all it has suffered, a strong Church exists in this land.  Yes, its people have suffered a long history of war and suffering, but they have never been vanquished.  I heard Vietnamese themselves name their strength, the strength of the people of Vietnam - "Forgive and move on, but do remember".  I experienced it as they shared stories of a tragic and violent past, but then simply finished by saying - "that is history".  Powerful!

Over these past days, I have been opened up to a church that has suffered brutal persecution over the last two centuries, or more, but has been left stronger and richer for this bloodied experience.  I wonder if I could suffer such torture and indignity, and come out the other end with their sense of dignity and humanity.  

I was overcome by the story of just one of countless martyrs, St Agnes Le Thi Thanh, a wife and mother (1781-1841),  She was arrested by the Emperor's soldiers for hiding and looking after priests.  She was subsequently imprisoned, tortured and eventually died.  The recounting of how they put poisonous snakes down here pants just made me squirm uncontrollably.  How did these great saints do it?  This is a rhetorical question, if there ever was one. St Agnes named it well, when she described the blood patches on her clothes, to her children, as "these are my red roses of courage. I am suffering in the name of Jesus. ,,,  I will trust and follow Jesus to the end." 

So the Church in Vietnam today stands strong in faith and vibrant in life.  I met a land and a Church full of young people, friendly, competent, confident, entrepreneurial and caring.  Vietnam did leave its mark on me.  I left there, feeling overwhelmed by the experience. I sit with myself in wonder.  The mystery of life is leading me somewhere, but where?  For now, that does not need an answer, just sit in wonder.     

 

Do not gaze upward, but look below

The above line comes from a powerful homily given by Pope Leo at this Christmas Eve mass.  Its context is the following. 

"To find the Savior, one must not gaze upward, but look below; the omnipotence of God shines forth in the powerlessness of a newborn; the eloquence of the eternal Word resounds in an infant's first cry; the holiness of the Spirit gleams in that small body".  

And so, for me, 2026 begins with this as a guiding thought, a shining star. I was then absolutely thrilled to further read his New Year's Day message for World Day of Peace, for he spoke there of the silent revolution of the Gospel.   He spoke of the revolution contained in the risen Jesus' first words to his disciples - "Peace be with you".  

They are so revolutionary for they go against the grain of the natural human instinct, or should I say, what is accepted as the natural ways of humanity.  For who in the world would only arm themselves with the love of God?  Who would become gentle and reconciliatory upon seeing the wounded and afflicted?  Who would relinquish their perceived right to have control and power over the other, especially when the other is wrong?  

The Gospel is revolutionary stuff.  Once we get that, we may come to understand why we are here and what we are on about in this life.  It is a great ideal.  It is sound vision for life, but think about living it everyday.  War is not just out there somewhere.  It begins in the heart, at the grassroots.  Here, we build life and prosper with each other, prosper with our own self, or we don't. 

This past week, I was touched by a true tale in my life.  Here I am again being Fr John and helping another westerner in My Bangkok.  I was asked why I am doing this as the person is most difficult, even self-destructive.  

I naturally responded, "She has rights and she has dignity that must be respected".

The family member replied, "I know very few people like you here at home".

I just naturally thought, "Isn't that what we do?  As Christians?"

 

  

Christmas did come - it is now Hello 2026

Who said we could not celebrate Christmas 2025 as the world is too bad and too sad?  Christmas is never denied or delayed, no matter what, as it is not about us but about God, who sent his Son into the world as it is, warts and all.  God never waited for a perfect world.  Rather he chose to come into the world as it is, the imperfect place it is, with all its mess and chaos.  This is where we find God; this is where God is with us; nowhere else.   This is what we celebrate at Christmas, and so Christmas must always be.  

This past year has been a Holy Year, a year when we have been Pilgrims of  Hope.  My faith community literally went out as pilgrims this year.  As pilgrims, we have learnt much.   

1)  Together, we share life and the gospel.  

2)  Together, we hold and cherish the Church, our treasure.  

3)  We rejoice in the richness of the other.  

4)  Together, we are a missionary church.  

So has our knowledge of both God and life deepened, as has our faith.  We are gift, given by God to creation.  We celebrate this gift at Christmas.   

At Christmas, we remember the birth of a baby.  This baby was the Word made flesh.  In the scene and story of the Lord's nativity, the Word speaks to us as a baby in a manger.  What is that baby saying to us today?  Can we be silent enough to allow the Word to speak to us, through the baby lying in a manger?  

With this message, we enter 2026.  May we be opened up to a whole new vision for life and creation, a vision that reflects God, who is truly with us.  

My Christmas Greetings 2025

 

Christmas 2025

You can guess where I have been this year - Notre Dame cathedral, in Paris.  My visit there told me that it is more than a church.  It is a spiritual oasis, an icon of history and church, within which I lost myself.  This is easily my highlight for 2025. 

 Like most around me, I too often become overwhelmed by the craziness of our world which, at times, looks like it is going into free fall.  Then when I think I am too focused on what is going wrong, I turn to Pope Leo and see hope in action.  I may be one of a multitude in our world, but I know Bob Prevost, now the Pope, for he is very much a part of our Order.  Knowing him, I find my mind turning to the trivial.  As I read his stories of good works, I ask myself questions like how does the Pope buy his tennis shoes, as he loves tennis.  It is good to always keep a sense of perspective and humor. 

 Like everyone else in the world, my year has had its fair share of challenges and down moments, but nothing like those living in the Gazas of our world.  Too many places and people know war and harsh suffering.  Acknowledging that, while not ignoring it, I must say that my year has been blessed with a loving family and Order, such great friends and a vibrant community.  I am also blessed with many valuable opportunities to serve humanity in some little way.  Along the way, I get to appreciate our world better and enjoy a good life, that ever keeps me in touch with our shared brokenness.

 Notre Dame was one unique opportunity, among many possibles, during a 17-day journey to Norway and Paris.  The former was savoring God’s creation, while the latter was taking in the richness of faith, life and history.   The two are definitely not mutually exclusive.  Looking back, this journey was a rich pilgrimage, providing a full vista of the wonders of life. 

I spent an unforgettable time in Notre Dame in prayer, reflection and worship, just soaking in its warmth and ambience.  It is a grand cathedral, but so simple inside, offering a space to sit and experience the sacred in the midst of a busy world.  It was full of tourists but, for me, it remained a silent and prayerful space.  That cross in the above picture is a symbol of the miracle that is Notre Dame today, for it survived the 2019 fire.  Notre Dame itself stands as a symbol to what humanity can do in facing a challenge, for Macron said he would rebuild the cathedral in five years, and he did, bequeathing the world a revived cathedral in all its splendor and majesty.   This grand lady among churches of the world stands as a miracle, a sign of God’s presence and love.  Arising from its ashes, it also stands as a testament to the greatness of humanity.

 Likewise, the world is truly a miracle, a work of God’s hands.  I saw that so poignantly in Norway, where I was doubly blessed in sharing the journey with such good friends.  The journey took us by boat and train, through such beautiful scenery and countryside.  It was an experience of the beauty and grandeur of creation.  Like Notre Dame, creation in Norway offered a grand cathedral within which to ponder life and marvel at its wonders. 

 On the way, we met Bishop Varden of Trondheim, a spiritual leader and man of wisdom.  He shared his vision arising from meeting so many people in our world who are searching for something deeper in life, than what they see on offer in our world.   I experience the same phenomenon in My Bangkok, which is about much more than shopping and massage. 

 Our world is not just a crazy placed.  It is not defined by the pursuits and concerns of the powerful few, nor by the suffering and tragedy faced by the many.  It is ever God’s world, within which a searching humanity keeps wandering.  People are searching for substance to life in a world that can be so shallow, for meaning in a world that is losing its sense of shared purpose, for a sense of security in a world that is caught up in too much conflict and violence. 

Whatever our world and our times may bring, Christmas comes, and Christmas matters.  I was brought up on Christmas.  Yes, it is about the color, the songs, the trees, but it is about much more.  It is about people being kind and so I wish it could be Christmas every day, but that is not reality.  Happily, for now, I confidently share my “Ho! Ho! Ho!”, wishing you a holy Christmas, a time knowing and sharing much kindness, full of the joy that comes with the knowledge that the humble God is ever with us on our way.   

 Christmas Greetings one and all!   May this time of celebration of humanity bring us joy 

and give us a lasting taste of peace and love in our world!

How can you mess with Christmas?

The Military Council in Myanmar’s Kachin State has reportedly ordered all Christian churches in townships designated for the country’s 28 December elections, including Myitkyina, Putao and Tanai, to hold their Christmas celebrations before 20 December to avoid conflict with the elections.

This report (dated 12th December) horrifies me.  How can you do this to Christmas?  How can you subject Christmas to a selfish and cruel, political agenda?   Christmas is sacrosanct, especially for a Christmas boy.  It is sacrosanct not because of all the hype and the glitz, but because it is a time of year that reminds us what it truly means to be human.  To be truly human is to be kind, to be kind to oneself and to one's brother and sister.  Take this away and we lessen humanity.  That is a sin against humanity.  

Once again Pope Leo saves the day with his recent call to arms (dated 6th December):

"The Church will not be a silent bystander to the grave disparities, injustices and fundamental human rights violations in our global community". 

Christmas is ever a time of hope.  It is a time when we are reminded to believe in goodness and kindness, in happiness and fun, all being alive in our world, no matter what befalls us.  And why not?  So don't mess with Christmas.