All too much

Living in my Bangkok, I find myself presently overcome by too many issues.  Life entails the constant facing of questions, challenges and dilemmas but lately my experience of this side of reality has been just so intense that I find my cry inside naturally being - All too much!

There is the Thai election which raises the interminable questions about here and how unfair the system is for the people.  There is the continuing workplace dilemma of poor management and seamy power plays.  There are the stories of sexual abuse and corruption in the Church which hit me in the gut.  There are the Thai ways of manipulation and making demands so as to suit self centred interests which never fail to surprise me.  It all adds up and so it goes on.  But aren't these all out there?

I could agree.  I could say I wallow in the luxury of thinking too much.  I could say just let go and relax.  All good but that is not me or what is happening in my life.  I cannot deny my reality.  I have to ask then what is going on as nothing happens by accident.  Why this experience now?

Am I wallowing in self-pity?  If so, I do not plan it or wish to be.  I would rather just act on what's wrong and get over it.  Then a line from a good Irish friend in Cambodia comes from our recent sharing on sexual abuse in the Church.  I mentioned Congolese women I had met as refugees here who had suffered just terrible indignities in life back home.  Yet here they were working hard to make a new start in life and get on with it.

My Irish friend remarked how these are strong women, women she would gladly employ in her business. Her comment stays with me -
 Privileged people have more time to think and less a need for survival than these ladies.

This tells me that I am overcome by life when I am overcome by myself and my own needs and hurts.  In facing one of my challenges this week, I realized what it is - control.  When I try to be in control, try to control not being hurt or what I get, I become overwhelmed.  As I know so well, control does not work in life.  Better to trust in God and move patiently forward. 

The pub with no beer

It was St Patrick's Day and so off to my local Irish pub I went only to discover it open but deserted.  It was eerie! This was the result of an alcohol ban imposed by the government on the country that day due to national elections.

In certain countries, and not just Thailand, that is what they do on election day - ban the sale of alcohol.  In other countries, like Ecuador, I believe this practice is to act against possible acts of violence.  In Thailand, it is named as being necessary to act against electoral fraud as it is judged that alcohol may be used to buy votes - "vote for me and I will buy you a drink".

This can be very true.  What I saw in Ecuador was that people would vote for the candidate who gave them a free t-shirt or baseball cap.  Such is democracy in parts of the world.  I guess it is apt to jump a step and say "such is humanity".  We are a fickle lot and our level of sophistication does not go very deep.  We are easily led, or maybe we have no choice but to follow, especially in environments where leadership is about control. 

It is fascinating and tragic to watch power go mad where those in authority are handed full control just because they are the ones in authority.  The result is chaos and abuse under the basic paradigm at play which can be summarised in a simple sentence. 
"The boss is handed and accorded full control on the basis that he knows everything and can do anything." 

This is a recipe for a train crash.  Be careful crossing the track. 

I'm back!

Where have I been?  Rome.  It was a short but such an invaluable sojourn.  Let me share a highlight.

For so long, I have wanted to visit the Basilica of St Clement near the Coliseum. I knew it as having catacombs but I was wrong as it is about something else much more profound, as I was to find out on finally visiting it when in Rome for yet another Caritas International meeting. 

This basilica is not about catacombs but about the very history of the Christian faith.  Yes, you enter a 12th century church but then you enter underneath to see two more layers.  First, you walk down into the excavated ruins of a previous basilica, but wait as there is more, as the ancient basilica is built upon a pagan Roman temple.  Wow!  Just too much for one short visit. 

In the 1st century, a pagan temple was built on this site which remained there until Christianity became the religion of the Roman Empire in the early 4th century.  At this time, the pagan temple was transformed into a Christian basilica dedicated to St Clement and so it stood until it fell into ruins some 800 years later and was covered over for the present day basilica to stand.

As I wandered around underneath in what was the old basilica and then around the ancient pagan temple, I could only imagine what happened here and what life was like.  Being there gave me a sense of awe, a sense of being part of something greater than myself.  It hit me how who we are today is formed by being built layer upon layer of history.  We are the sum of our parts. We are who we are because of what has gone before us.  The beauty of the Church has been not the ability to condemn and destroy what has gone before but to embrace and build upon what is so as to enrich our legacy and who we are.

I could see again how the Church is at its strongest when it is able to embrace the world that is, not when it condemns it.