The Three Musketeers

All for one.  One for all.

Bangkok is one of those places in the world where you forever are meeting great characters, or that is my experience.  It is part of what makes this place ever exciting for me.  I have to say that even in a Sydney I would never meet the extent of characters I meet here.  For me, this is part of the appeal of a Bangkok, making it such a special place.  Yes, my Bangkok is a crazy and intense place but that goes with its being a hub in the world, attracting all sorts of people from everywhere. 

What makes a person a character?  They are made by their depth of commitment to spiritual pursuits and humanity.  They are made by their engagement with life in a variety of ways and places.  They are made by their breadth of experience of people and our world, with insights gained that take them the next step beyond where most people just stand and wait.  They are made by their work which they value and see as vital.  They never cease to fascinate me.  Their appeal never loses its sparkle.  Given their travels, novel approaches to life, variety of story and the like, character is the only word I can think of to describe them. 

I garner from them rich words of advice and pearls of wisdom that, along with the tantalizing conversations and nourishing encounters, keep me going along the right path in a Bangkok that can be so bizarre and dysfunctional. 

Why am I thinking of them now?  Three of them are my bestest, as I hear Thais say.  Last week, I had the chance to spend time with each of them.  This was unusual but very welcome and providential at a time when I had faced a key challenge in my workplace.  I realized by the end of the week how much my time with them meant for me.  And why?

Basically it is because of the deep loyalty they always show me.  They believe in me and I believe in them.  This is key to making life sustainable and nourishing; to making life more than bearable, to making life more than just a survival course.  In the midst of the bear pit that can be my Bangkok, there are people who really matter to me, who make the bear pit a place where you can operate with integrity and rise above the fray.  They truly give life to a vulnerable soul. 

Always expect the unexpected

This week's title was my closing line and promise from last week.  Yes, I did make my needed stand for myself last week.  It was time and I did it.  Because I had acted for my integrity, I did feel a renewed sense of energy.  That was a natural outcome but there was another outcome that was totally from left field, which left me gasping for breath.  It was the total lack of any recognition form the recipient of my stance.  Life just went on with a lecture on Thai ways and a briefing on the next task.  It was as if I had said nothing but I did say something.

My only sense is that my experience spoke of the other world that is Thailand and Asia.  I never expected what I got but that is how it is here.  Even after so long here, I never cease to be taken aback by the unexpected.  I live in a totally different world from my Australia.  Such is my Bangkok.

What was at play? Avoidance of conflict? Manipulation? Cultural dissonance?  Tolerance? Or was it just the person involved?  Maybe it was a mixture of all five or more.  Ultimately, I can't say.  All that aside, the reality was that I had done what I needed to do and could do.  No more was needed - or at least for now.

I did go away feeling reinvigorated, ready to face the world, but I also felt as always here a sense of mystery surrounding how people operate and survive in the east.  So life goes on and I can continue on my quest to try and do my bit in the world in this somewhat strange place I call home - my Bangkok.   

It is good to be free

I discover through my work with migrants that slavery is not a thing of the past but still very much with us, just under a different name.  What I find lacking is that the modern name - human trafficking - sounds so antiseptic and just does not express the full impact of such a human evil.

There are the tragic victims of modern slavery but sadly it reflects how all of us are enslaved in some way or another.  We all experience people, systems, dynamics or behaviours that hold us down or back.  We may or may not be aware of these harsher realities in our lives but they are there.  Then at times, we consciously make ourselves aware of what is enslaving us so as to stand up and act for ourselves.  These are the good times.  These are times when, no matter what the fear may be inside, we feel good and strong about life and ourselves.  This is telling us we are doing the right thing and we can do it no matter what.   

St Bernard of Clairvaux

My week began in such a context.  It is time yet again to stand up for me and not just keep doing good work and helping people.  While good work and helping our neighbour are essential to life, there is something much more basic to life.  This is what gives meaning to who we are.  I often say that who we are is much more important than what we do.  I always say and know so well that control does not work and that success and perfection are not a part of the equation in life.  It all leads to personal disaster.  Then I read St Bernard of Clairvaux who so passionately reminds us what life is all about.  He names the Spirit as the kiss of the mouth between the Father and the Son.   God freely chooses to share that kiss with us and we become the kiss of the kiss.  We are the kiss of the divine kiss.  Wow!

Life is about so much more than what we experience and know.  When I feel constrained in life, I remember the Anglican Bishop of Durham of the days of Maggie Thatcher when I was studying in London.  Back then he was publicly crucified by political foes for making his stance in defence of the common citizen.  Yes, he was controversial.  Yes, he had dodgy theological stances.  Yes, he was not of the stature of a Bernard of Clairvaux figure.  Still despite all that, he made his mark, being a church figure of his day dedicated to the plight of the suffering working person and the poor.  He stood firm against all opposition.  His episcopal motto says it all: Non illegitimi carabundum - Don't let the bastards get you down.  So stand back world.

PS - I did stand up for myself.  I was ready for the worse but the outcome was just totally from left field.  Such is Thailand.  More on this next week.  "Always expect the unexpected."

A Welcome Diversion

Grandma with her young graduands

I finished last week with a most welcome diversion.  Om, my great friend here, had me join his family at the beach where they all gathered for the occasion of a younger family member graduating from university.  I really enjoyed it.  For all I may share over the years on Thailand, where the country really works is at the level of the family.  Thais are like pigs in mud when they are with their family.  As an outsider, you just seldom get the opportunity to have an inside look. 

One of the special people in Om's family and one of the ones who makes time so special for me with them is Grandma.  Well, they call her grandma.  If I gather it correctly.  She is the oldest sister to Om's mum who died a few years ago.  Om tells me that in Thai culture when his mother died, her oldest sister took on the role of grandma in the family.  So she is grandma.  The few times that she sees me, she always shows me great affection, gives me a hug and has a bit of a dance with me.  I suspect she may have the hots for me but no worries about running away with her. 

What stays with me from my 24 hours at the beach with Om's family was grandma's care for me and the graciousness she showed me.  At dinner, I sat at her mat and, when I was given some chicken, I shared it with her for her to eat as she had been so kind already to me.  What happened next took me by great surprise.  Instead of eating the chicken, she started stripping off pieces of flesh and giving it to me to eat.  This was not my intention.  As an egalitarian Aussie, I wanted to tell her to stop but I didn't as I figured it was much more polite for me to accept her graciousness towards me. 

And that is what stays with me of the time away with Om's family - the graciousness of one of their highly respected and loved elders towards me.  What doubly stays with me is how she so naturally chose to do this for me.  Thailand does work at the level of the family and for obvious reasons.