Twas ever thus

Getting ready for a wedding at the cathedral.

In all my years at the cathedral, I never saw what I saw this past Sunday.   Yes, they have big weddings with huge arrays of flowers but never like what greeted me at the front of the cathedral on my arrival.  There was a team of five young, enthusiastic workers, arranging a floral display on the mother of all arches at the entrance to the cathedral.  Its purpose was to give the bride something spectacular to walk through as she started the bridal procession.

It as obvious that this particular Sunday's wedding was a hi-so extravaganza.  Inequality is everywhere, even in the church, or maybe especially the church, a long standing and universal institution.  As a friend said on my sharing my reflection on my Sunday discovery - Twas ever thus.

A principle given to us in Church history was that Church reflects society.  How true!  In 2018, Credit Suisse named Thailand as the "most unequal" economy in the world.  It claimed that 67% of the nation's wealth was held by 1% of the population, rising rapidly from 58% in 2016. The World Bank reported that poverty and inequality have worsened in Thailand in recent times, showing that standards of living and income have worsened among all Thais beginning in 2016.  At that same time, Thailand's official poverty rate rose to 10% of the population, while the bottom 40% of the population saw their average consumption and income decline   

These are damning statistics that effect the ordinary citizen on the street.  Life is getting tougher.  The sad truth is there is no need for this to happen if people were just willing to treat each other more fairly.  Yet it happens, even unnoticed, in a society that is so ruled by norms and culture that uncritically reflect given hierarchies, blatantly showing preference to the few over the many.  So the hi-so weddings roll on!

Another First in My Bangkok

The Khokar Family gather for Mum's Funeral

In all my time here, this past Sunday, I had yet another first in my Bangkok.  Believe it or not, it was the first experience for me to be joined at mass by a permanent deacon.  Believe it or not, this was a first for many Thai Catholics.  The reason is that the local church has never approved the ordination of permanent deacons which is an ordained ministry in its own right within the universal Church.  Yes, this ministry had been lost in history but it was reclaimed by the Church following the Second Vatican Council.   

Here this ministry remains lost.  Any deacon known by the locals here is one on his way to being ordained a priest.  So how did we get a permanent deacon our way? 

A dear member of our faith community, Theresa, a Pakistani woman, refugee and mother of Joseph, also of our community, died.  She was a great woman of faith, a strong presence of love and care.  So her family naturally came from the UK to celebrate their mother and mourn her loss, with one of their number being a very active deacon in London. 

He admirably fulfilled his role as deacon in the liturgical rites for the funeral of his mother.  For me, I saw an adult son asserting his role with reverence and love for his mother.  It was both an honour and a refreshing experience of church. He then joined us at mass on Sunday at the cathedral as deacon.  It was a great experience for the congregation and for me, being both educational and uplifting. 

I introduced our visiting deacon, highlighting the rightful ministry of deacon and their place in the Church, while also acknowledging that this ministry does not yet stand in the church in Thailand. 

Why is the latter so?  Being a highly structured and hierarchical society, the church reflects society in choosing that all formal ministry is the realm of bishops and priests, the hierarchy.  This means there is only a limited place for laity in ministry here. 

Then after mass on Sunday, a priest holidaying from the USA, spoke with me on this matter.  He said he has two permanent deacons in his parish and has naturally assumed this was normal practice available within the whole church, as this was the ministry ruled by and for the universal Church.  Having shared in our first at Bangkok cathedral, he said he now appreciated that there is church with a small "c" and not just always with a big "C". 

We always keep having our firsts in life.  We all live and learn.   

It can get worse

"Nobody can escape death.  Rich from cheating and taking advantage of people ... Do they think they can take money to spend in hell?"  These were the angry words of a Thai soldier, published on his Facebook page, as he went on a murderous rampage here in the town of Korat on Saturday.

The questions sit with me in my Bangkok.
How to deal with wrongs in a just and right way?
How to deal with our feelings of being aggrieved in healthy ways?

Knowing here, I can interpret the meaning behind his statement of vengeance but it still does not make sense of such outrageous violence where so many innocent people are mown down.

In my Bangkok, corruption is not the sole prerogative of political and business elites.  Corruption is rather a reality at every level of society. 

I had just put my American friend into the hands of God when another development came my way that just rocked me to the core.  Over his time here, he married his favorite bar girl.  The story does get richer as you go along.  She stayed with him until she had used up all his money in establishing her own bar, then moving onto other men, doing the same again and again, thus building up her empire.  On leaving him, she would never agree to a divorce, while remaining ever aloof. 

When he recently collapsed into his ultimate demise, she was approached with the news, only to respond, "He is already dead.  Never get in contact with me again about him".  So she did nothing to help.  Now that he is dead, she is coming forward to make a claim on his US pension.  I was just stunned and angry.

So the individual, mercenary stories of callous abuse of others for personal greed and gain multiply.  People can be so ruthless, taking advantage of others' weaknesses and suffering.  Then I turn back to the soldier of last Saturday. 

He had been wronged in a personal business transaction concerning real estate.  He was understandably angry but he went berserk and dealt with it in such a bad way.  He just utterly lost the plot. 

As I reflect on the injustices of the past week, I can only call to mind a brave woman back home who recently lost three of her children to the actions of a drunk driver.  Her words from the heart were powerful and a true witness to who we are as people of faith.  Simply she said,
"I can't hate him.  That's not who we are.  In my heart, I forgive him but I want the court to be fair."

The answer to my questions for this week comes from a great woman, facing such loss and wrong.  It is a two sided answer - forgive from the heart while seeking justice.  I say no more and just let her speak. 

Just when you thought it was all over

Just when I thought the tragedy of my American friend was finished with his inevitable death, it all suddenly took a turn for the worse, for, upon his death, no family member or responsible person would come forward to pay the medical bill.  This meant that the hospital put into effect its policy for such circumstances.  So it is now withholding the body until all is paid in full.  It is only with payment that a death certificate will be issued.  I discover that this is regular practice here in such cases.

As I face this new development in the saga of my friend's demise, I do recognize the justice of paying the bill.  I surely do identify that his family has an obligation to pay, if for no other reason than to respect our Christian to bury the dead, and,in this case, their own member.  Having said this, for such an institution to seek its just payment in this way strikes me as being official blackmail with the bargaining chip being a human body.  It just seems so mercenary, so blood thirsty to reduce our humanity to bland business transactions.

I want to say to all sides - Stop it!  Stop playing God!  The guy is dead.  Let's do what we need to do.  Pay respect to the dead and get over whatever it is troubling us and move on.  Show the guy some decency, no matter what he did in life.

Then this picture of a vase of daffodils on a widow ledge was sent to me by a good and caring friend from his home in London.  His sharing of beauty reminds me of the resurrection, an apt image for this moment.  Moreover, it is an image of the resurrection in the midst of our everyday life.

My American friend is with God.  He is at peace.  That is all that matters.  This is the true end.  I accept this and feel right at home with this outcome.  The rest of the players in this drama can continue seeking their own wanted ending, playing games with a person. 

What can I do?  Accept and feel at home as the focal player is now at his rightful end.  Control never works, while business is ever the call of the day in my Bangkok.  Despite all this, the end is with God and in her hands. 

R.I.P. Kelly.