Buddhist Lent

This Friday is the first day of Buddhist Lent which coincides with rainy season.  Unfortunately, we have been experiencing the lack of rain in this part of the world but then it poured last night.  Maybe this was in recognition of Friday.

Buddhist Lent, I read, begins with the full moon in July.  As I experience Buddhism, it is a very practical religion.

Apparently, at the very beginning, Buddha never had a Lent time as he wanted his monks to go out teaching all year round.  Then it was noticed that with monks walking around in the countryside during the rainy season, which is also the time for growing rice, they would cause damage to the new crops in the rice fields. To deal with this problem, Buddha declared Lent during which time monks were to stay in their temples and meditate which also meant that they would not be walking around causing damage to the rice crop.  Now isn't that being practical?  You deal with a very real problem and make a gain out of doing so in another direction.  I love it.  

So what we have here at the same time is the coming together of three important aspects of life in the local setting - Lent, growing rice and rainy season.  As I said, I see Buddhism as being very practical.

When I first came here, I was struck by how one could be a monk for a day or a life time and no matter how long you stayed your contribution and standing were of equal worth.  I thought now there is a message for the Catholic Church.  It made me ask myself the question - to be a priest or religious does every one have to do it forever?  Couldn't some make the commitment on a more temporary basis and their commitment be as every bit valid?

On further reflection, being here, I have come to see and value in a new and real way the worth of volunteers.  You have good people coming from everywhere to help and make a contribution.

I think this is a good place to stop.  Just to say that we can learn so much from each other and learn even more when we step outside our corner of the world.  

Families

In the last week, my youngest niece, Kathleen, got married.  Here we see her with those of her family who were able to make it for the big day.  They do look a happy bunch.  Actually, my sister looks quite trendy with the glasses. 

The wedding happened on a mountain top outside of Brisbane with a pastor doing the honours.  My only reflection is to share how quickly so much change has occurred in my family in such a short period of time. 

I look at my mum and dad, now three years dead, and their lives and lifestyle.  It was so different.  The Catholic Church was one of the firm pillars on which their life and family were based.  Mum and dad were the foundation for the family and everyone in the family respects and loves them to this day.

Still, no matter the place of mum and dad in the family, their strong expression of religion has not been carried over into the generations.  There is within the family, the whole range of just no belonging to any religion to belonging strongly but to something very different from the Catholic Church. 

My personal stance is that the change itself just is.  We live in such different times from my parents' day.  It is neither good nor bad.  It has happened and this is how it stands.  Each to their own, I say, and we all make our choices according to our world view.  What still really gets me is the rapid nature of the change in just one family, mine.  It all happened so quickly.  You go from mum and dad to what we see today.  So different and yet it all originates from the same source and the same love and commitment. 

One thing comes to me as I share this.  I was talking with an Irish colleague this week and we got onto the Irish Church which has been devastated by the abuse issue and its poor handling of it.  Church control was at the centre and it has all disappeared, and so quickly, and so it should.  What my Irish colleague reflected was that religion collapsed in Ireland and it was then discovered that there was little faith.  So it all fell apart with the collapse of the institution.

Here, I keep using that word - religion.  Beyond religion what matters is faith and spirituality.  As long as we have a faith and a spirituality, that is what is core.  I will say no more as I am not here to preach but to reflect and that is ongoing. 

Three Years On

This week, I met with a very dear and special friend here in town on her way to Nepal where she is going this year for her annual missionary adventure and service.  This is something she does religiously and that is how I met her.  She was first a companion in  my Maryknoll days and we went from there.  She is a New York character, standing up for everyone's rights and opposing an institutional Church that denies these rights in any way, while being so Catholic and so committed to her Church.  She is just one of those most attractive characters I meet being in my Bangkok.

From another New York friend, I came across a spiritual reflection arising from his experience of Nepal which I shared as part of my gift to my dear friend.  The reflection focuses on the Buddhist celebration of death.  According to this reflection, the Buddhists of Nepal do not celebrate birth as much as they celebrate death as death is the release from all that holds us down in life.  Death is then seen as the time for real celebration of life in its fullness. 

This week, I remember three years since my dear mum and dad died.  Ever since they died, I have only had good and fond thoughts about them.  I honestly can only think how kind and generous they were in life and how all they did was love us as best they could.  Then I think, what more can one ask for in life? 

If I go back in life, I remember my difficulties with them and how I struggled with who they were in my life.  With death, that has all gone.  This has been the release of death for me.  I am only left with the kindest and fondest of memories of mum and dad.  This has been the freeing of death - to remember and love two good people and know nothing else.  And why hold onto anything else?  There is no point.  It is just a shame that this did not happen earlier in my life but maybe it takes something as cathartic as death to have such change happen in one's psyche. 

I love you, mum and dad.  I love you, my dear friends. 

Leader of the Pack

This is a full and different week for me in Bangkok.  Part of its different flavour is to have Veronica in town with her daughter, Sara.  Who is Veronica? 

Veronica is a great friend.  She and I worked together at the Matt Talbot hostel in Sydney 10 years ago.  We were great partners in crime, facing the foes of upper level administration together.  Since then we have never lost touch.  So here she is in Bangkok and it is wonderful to see her again.

Well, as this is Sara's first time in Bangkok, she of course wanted to see the famous bars.  I was nominated as the official tour guide for the night and so off I went with my small troupe of followers.  We were also joined by a new Thai friend, Am, who just needed a good night out and I thought what better company for her than Veronica and Sara.

It was a captivating experience to be the only male with a group of friends, female and such strong and fun characters.  I was all ears when they talked about men.  I did not know that I was like how they described us but I am open to new insights.  Am was particularly enlightening for me as she talked about the changes in Thai men over the past 20 years.  I had never heard this before. 

Through my work, I know a number of young Thai, professional women.  They all seem to not like Thai men and express a hope for foreign boyfriends.  That is a definite trend I see here.  What is this about? 

Well, Am's theory is that with the great 1997 economic crash that hit Thailand, there was a change in the male species.  She says they became weaker, depending more on women and relying on their largesse.   Basically, it seems to be a case of when the going got tough, the men lost the plot and never regained their status.  I can see a truth in that as my mum would say that men could give up too easily while women would stay strong. 

I am no expert but this may explain what I see here - young and capable, professional women not having a great interest in the local male.  But then as I said last night in one of my very few interventions, the western male may not be the answer either.  It just depends who the individual is. 

As for any older Aussie male searching for a subservient woman in a Thailand, not all Thai women are subservient.  Truth is there are impressive, strong women here, just as in Australia. 

I may have been the tour guide but I think that my troupe of three were the leaders of the pack.  It was a top night among friends. 

Home is where the heart is

Later in the year, I will be visting the Holy Land and can verify for you then if this sign is for real.  Real or not, it has a relevant message for me here and now.  As my previous entries may hint, there is much happening around me and it struck me that it all centres on where I feel at home. 

I am sometimes asked by someone here, "Where do I come from?"  I find it a strange question as Bangkok is home for me now.  "So why are they asking me," I think on impulse, "as I come from here?"  When I realize what they are asking, I acknowledge to myself that they do not know me so well nor do they know my experience of over nine years here. 

My home is where I live and here is where I live but they do not know this.  Bangkok may be a funny place to call home as it can be so transitory and full of some crazy people but this is where I lay my head at night and walk the earth during the day and choose to do so.

Australia is where my roots lie, my place of origin, the home of my family and very special friends.  It will always be a home for me but for now here is home. 

My great Thai friend may suffer the departure of his good American friend; Thai Immigration may downgrade my visa for now; Thais may be somewhat different and even seem strange to me at times but still none of this changes the bottom line - this is my home for better or worse. 

As anywhere in this world, I find places and people here where I feel so connected, while elsewhere and with some others I feel so disconnected.  I can name the places and people of my week where I feel connected.  They nourish me ready for facing where I feel disconnected.  This is life and thank God that I know where I belong and where I can refind where I belong when I need to.  Home is about belonging, wherever and with whomever that may be.