A Pauline Paradox

Life is neither a game nor some platform for making political points so as to look good.  Rather it is both precious and a challenge.  It is because it is such a precious gift that it is worth meeting the challenge.  In the midst of life's struggles and strivings, I have become aware that I am caught in a Pauline paradox.  

On one side, I identify the need for self-transformation as I am weak and sinful, which I seldom acknowledge about myself.  Maybe that is because I am just so much out there, criticising and anlysing the world.  On the other side, our world truly does need transformation as so much is going wrong.  Therefore, it does become a focus for critical debate, but don't let this lead to self-indulgent, life enduring discussions.  

What to do, as I feel stuck between these two demarcation lines?  What is the answer to this paradox? 

It lies both within self and out.  The answer is mission – mission to self and to others.  St Teresa of Avila had it right in her approach.  You go within so as to go out.  Life is neither a political campaign nor a self-help trip.  It is an adventure to be lived and shared.  It is a gift from God to all, from which all benefit and in which all participate, encountering the one true God and humanity, through those we meet along the way.  There is so much to savour, savour to the full, both within and out

As I have been recently quoted, life is about "active participation".  It is never a spectator sport,  

There's always an agenda

My Bangkok - a city with so many layers.

One lesson I have learnt, living in My Bangkok, is that there is always an agenda when people approach me for taking on an unannounced task or for proclaiming ground breaking news.  As I often say here - all is not what it seems.  And it is the agenda underneath that really matters.   

I share this as I try to make sense of my crazy life and crazy world.  In the past week, an insight came to me the hard way.  I realized that I too often rant about the nature of the big world out there, doing so at the expense of my own little world, which deserves so much more attention and upon which I can act.  I think to myself, acting on my little world leads to my acting more effectively on the big world.  After all, wherever we are, we are all broken.  

I can so easily critcize and analyse out there, while doing nothing to better my own life, something that I can act on.  Is that not crazy behaviour?   So does the life agenda of making this a better world just become a game, a discussion point for the coffee table?  What to say?  

When you come to me anxious and worried, just tell me what is going on.  

I can cope with the facts.  I just cannot deal with the unknown.  

I won't say you are lying, because I know you are not, but there is a reason why you withhold the full story from me.  I don't get it.  

When you do this, I cannot help, as best I can, and truth is it hurts.  

There is a reason for not coming clean with me.  

You not trust me?

You not want to include me?

You want to use me? 

I not know why and honestly I not care.  

What matters is showing me the respect I deserve as a fellow human being.  

That is it.  

To hide the agenda is purposeful and cunning.  

You might not think so but it is to choose that we are not equals, working on the same side.  

Inclusion matters.  Respect matters.  Don't play games with such core ingredients of life. 

Let's not fool ourselves; let's not fool others.  

Let's not hide that agenda, least of all from ourselves.  That is not fair to anyone, least of all ourselves.  

Together we can build a better self, a better people, a better world.     

.    

Communication remains key

In a divided, torn and conflicted world, that seemingly is only getting worse, this past week, I had a simple, unannounced, pleasant experience on an escalator - no less - that opened my eyes to the immense capacity we have for deep and meaningful encounter with our fellow human beings, in the midst of everyday life.    

  

On Saturday evening, I was transiting through a busy MRT station.  That does not sound too adventurous, does it?  I will continue.  Given the crowd, I was on the very next step behind a younger, Thai woman, who was with her western male companion.  I say this as I would normally stand back on the second step, but not so this time in a busy crowd.    

Anyway, there am I on this step behind the Thai woman.  Her male companion looks back at me, to which I just said: "It's okay".  

The guy picked up my Australian accent and so naturally responded: "Go for it mate", pulling her aside.

I then said: "Good on you, mate". 

To which he replied: "No worries".  

So we had a simple, natural, human encounter between two strangers, who just happened to be both Australians, in Bangkok.  This human connection allowed a good experience of humanity to happen, and what arose was the coming together of two people, strangers, in a good way.  Such is the way life can be, even in a divided, torn and conflicted world.  

It was not complicated.  It was just about being simple, decent human beings.  This simple encounter hit me with the reality that we can make this a better world, and it is not rocket science.  Human encounter is the way.  This is what Pope Francis is on about all the time. and now I understand it.  Amazing!  As humanity, we need to meet and talk, to engage and converse, not in complicated, tightly structured ways, but just in simple, everyday ways.  Be kind to each other and so communicate our goodness, and raise each other up.   

A person from church sent a Prayer for Peace, that she had found.  I think it is worth sharing in part, because it is so pertinent to today.    

God of Comfort,

send your Spirit to encompass all those whose lives 

are torn apart by violence and death in Israel and Palestine.  

You are the Advocate of the oppressed 

and the One whose eye is on the sparrow. 

Let arms reach out in healing, rather than aggression. 

Let hearts mourn rather than militarize.

Strengthen our faith in you, O God of All Flesh, 

even when we don’t have clear answers, 

so that we may still offer ourselves nonviolently 

for the cause of peace. Amen.

Rose Marie Berger, 

Black Tuesday in My Bangkok

A dark storm was brewing

After an afternoon coffee, last Tuesday, I was returning home in my friend's car, watching, with keen interest, the pitch black clouds gather over My Bangkok.  These clouds were the darkest I had ever seen in my 18 years here, literally turning day into night.  It was just eerie.  

Yes, this week, I am 18 years in My Bangkok.  Quite the feat!  It was never planned this way.  Looking back, I can only think that God worked this out, not me, as she is much smarter.  

Back to those black clouds.  They seerved as a portent for what became Black Tuesday in My Bangkok.  

The day had begun with a desperate demand, from one of my bosses, leaving me in a state of semi-shock. Later in the day, I received a call from a stranger.  It was from an unknown Australian here in Bangkok, crying and screaming into the phone, making no great sense, as she was trying to deal with a family emergency.  Then the black clouds arrived late in the afternoon, at which time news was breaking of a shooting in a major, Bangkok shopping mall.  

With time, the news became clearer.  A 14 year old lad was shooting in Siam Paragon, killing two or three people and wounding others.  This incident had the sense of the unreal about it, but isn't the unreal happening far too often in our world?        

The challenge arose as how to respond to Black Tuesday in My Bangkok?  

Firstly, don't simply react.  Rather, keep one's focus, acting smart and keeping the agenda in one's life on the path for good.  No matter the situation, everyone caught up in the moment of anxiety or panic may think their agenda is vital, essential, but is it?  Keep the right perspective on life.  As a prayer from Henri Nouwen expresses it: 

"Why am I continuously trapped in this sense of urgency and emergency? Why do I not see that you are eternal, that your kingdom lasts forever, and that for you a thousand years are like one day? O Lord, let me enter into your presence and there taste the eternal, timeless, everlasting love with which you invite me to let go of my time-bound anxieties, fears, preoccupations, and worries. . . . Lord, teach me your ways and give me the courage to follow them. Amen."