Going nowhere

I dedicate this post to Poe Reh in whom I confided on this issue and his advice was to write it up in my blog.  So here I am.  I went to him to share on my experience of helping urban refugees in Bangkok as he knows the life of camp refugees through being a Karenni from Myanmar.  My challenges are with a similar but different population - urban refugees, living in the community in Greater Bangkok.   

I have been helping these people for so long that I am hitting a new wall.  What is the wall?  It is dependency and much more.  I would say it is senseless dependency.  You help people, they become dependent on you and then the next step arrives, I discover.  It is blowing me apart as ones I have helped so long are getting angry with me because I am not helping them as they want.  Of course, this is not every urban refugee.  There are others you help who stand on their own feet and act for themselves.  In doing a simple comparison between the two samples of the population, I am seeing a pattern.

Simply put, it is that if you are a victim back home, you will remain a victim as a refugee in your host country.  If you are a success story back home, you will be a success story in your host country.  Being a victim is not determined then by your level of suffering - in this case by being a refugee - or any other difficulty or barrier, nor by location, but by who one is in life.  Wherever one is or whatever situation one finds oneself in, victim status appears as being the domain not of outside dilemmas and disasters but of who one is and their ability to rise above the mess and meet the challenges of the moment.  Carpe diem!

Who is the boss?

In the past week, I had an experience that is typical of life in my Bangkok.  It is hard for me to explain as it makes no sense when ones tell me one thing, while another dynamic, the direct opposite, is at play.  Welcome to my Bangkok where the real is truly amazing.   

The situation was this. I needed to replace what for me is an expensive item.  So I do what is always best - seek the help of a local - and ask my good Thai friend for his advice.  His reply to me was a typical Thai one I hear given to foreign friends - "I follow you".  That appears as the local way to be agreeable and never rock the boat.  It so fits in with their way of accepting no responsibility in anything for they do not want to be the one taking charge in case something goes wrong.  Just hand it over to the supposedly big guy.  Being western, I would prefer a more direct or assertive reply.  Still that is the way of here.

So off we go to the shopping mall to look and buy.  I listen and observe as my friend does the talking with salesmen at the shops.  I then make my call as best I can.  The deal is done and then my Thai friend tells me what I should have done according to his local knowledge.

I think to myself - Why didn't he tell me what he knew all along to do?  Why now after the event does he give the advice I sought?  I am then left feeling unsure of myself - Did I make the right decision?

Who is the boss here?  Not me.  Welcome to my Bangkok.

24 Hours

Maybe I have written on this theme before but a basic motto for my Bangkok is your life here can change right around in 24 hours or less.   And you know what?  It just keeps happening and this week is yet another testament to this personally held motto.

I am getting ready for a visitor from Australia next week.  Then Tuesday, there is news that the visit is off, and is off for very good reason.  I am involved in planning a key meeting which Tuesday night went from Wednesday to Friday.  I plan my work this week to include a colleague now in Yangon for work.  Tuesday I find out that his return flight has been put back 24 hours by the airline.  So I will not see him this week.

All this does not really matter but it does colour life in my Bangkok and it does make the point.  It means always be flexible; always have Plan B or just accept what it is that one can achieve in life and be happy with that. 

If I remember correctly, John Lennon had a line - "Life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans".  My Bangkok tells me how true. 

Another basic life motto for me is that control does not work.  My Bangkok serves to show how true this is. 

Who am I not?

Underground basilica of early Church in Rome

"The story of a single human person is the history of humanity."
What a WOW line!

This was quoted at last week's Caritas International meeting in Rome I attended by a priest from the Vatican Dicastery for the Promotion on Integral Human Development.  For him, it is a guiding statement for any work in justice and in working for the progress of people.  It comes from a contemporary philosopher.

For me, this says it all.  Each person - you and I - has a basic intrinsic worth that cannot be denied.  Our worth is such that without us, human history is lacking.  Ain't that something!

As I reflected on this insight, I recalled the great line from Nelson Mandela who stressed in his own way that each of us has a contribution to make to the world.  He said we could choose two ways. One is the way of false humility where many reason simply - Who am I o do this or say this in response to our world of injustice? Then other way is the way to go. Realize who we are and claim our greatness and understand clearly - Who am I not to make my statement against injustice in our world? 

The world needs me.  The world needs our voice.  Without any of us, history is lacking.  Wow!!

So last week, I was in Rome at this intense two day meeting on advocacy with people who have much greater experience and capability in this area of work than I have.  I was definitely batting above my weight but I was making my contribution which our world needs.  Wow!  Ain't that a special and precious gift and responsibility to be treasured and shared?    Go for it!