What does it mean to be a Thai?

Maria, Miss Thailand Universe 2017

Thailand stood still on Monday as it watched with eager anticipation the finals of Miss Universe 2017 as their woman was among the final five.  All the interest so amused me as back home such a contest in my circle is looked down upon as being sexist and demeaning of women.  You can disagree.  Thailand as one was simply bereft when their woman did not make the top three, being chucked out because of her inability to deal with the social question. 

What was the question?  It was to name a siginificant socialm movement in our world.  She answered "youth", showing that she did not understand the question.  This has led to some serious relfection in the country by some Thais on what is it with Thailand?  It has been named in the Bangkok Post that, in a country where any social movement is disallowed or controlled by a military government, Thais lack experience of social movements.  So how can this poor woman make a response on something she never experiences?  Think on that one for a bit while I porceed to Part 2 of my refelction.

There is a Thai monsignor here who has spent 27 years working with the Vatican.  He returns a sophisticated, learned man of the world.  He befriended me and I like him a lot.  At Caritas, I talk with the right person about a work issue that concerns the Monsignor, whose role includes leadership for Caritas.  This other Thai guy is also smart and has studied outside Thailand.   I can see the Monsignor does not comprehend all about what we do at Caritas but my colleague names this lacking in another way.  He says that Monsignor has lived so long out of Thailand and in so many places that he is no longer Thai. 

Think about that one for a bit. 

Such a line raises many questions for me about here.  It highlights how xenophobic Thais can be, having a narrow sense of the world and of their place in it.  They are very particular about who they allow into their circle, while being friendly to all, or at least cautiously so. 

It raises for me a question - What does it mean to be a Thai?  You are no longer a true Thai because you have lived out of the place for so long and changed such that you no longer fit into the Thai social norm of what it means to be a Thai.  Interesting!  How do you define citizenship?  I could give my description of what this social norm entails but then who defines it more importantly.  The elite?  Those in power?  The people do accept it that is for sure.  Then if you are no longer seen as Thai, how are you treated amongst your own?  Ostracized?  Looked down upon?  With charity and care, needing re-education?

This line raises so many questions for me and not just about here.  It raises questions about me who has lived outside my country for 12 years.  I am no longer Australian?  I do not think so.  I hope not.  Will I ever belong in such a Thailand?  I doubt it and that is okay.  I just accept it for what it is.  Through learning and wider life experiences, don't you become an even better citizen of your country and of the world?  I believe so. 

Amazing Thailand.  You never cease to amaze me.  You keep me young.  Thanks so much.   Meanwhile poor Maria was teary as she faced the Thai community and simply admitted she did her best.   What more can any of us do? 

It's hard to keep a secret these days

Yes, it was my birthday this week.  I keep it to myself as I am low key on such matters but then I am feted at the office of Caritas Thailand by the staff, offering a gift and singing "Happy Birthday".  I asked how they knew and am told Facebook.  So you just can't keep a secret these days. 

Birthday at the top of Bangkok with friends.

What puzzles me is the power of social media as it is a mixed bag.  It is a social reality but what is its impact?  The question arose for me this week after my Irish neighbour shared about a possible return to the polls in Ireland due to the power of the social media in revealing publicly a lacking by their Deputy PM.  Is it that powerful?  Yes, it is but my question then becomes how the users of social media choose their issues and how factual is what they share.  I am not going to go on a 'fake news' tirade but these are serious qustions for me. 

I was recently sent a great piece by Pope Francis that was posted by a Catholic parish in the USA.  I was so impressed that I wanted to share it myself but some little part of the piece did not speak of Pope Francis.  So I did a Google check and discovered that this is a popular piece but it is not from Pope Francis himself, only being attrubuted to him.  This meant that I did not share the piece. 

While the Irish Deputy PM fell, do proceed with caution.  Same as the papers - don't believe everything you read. 

I want to get off this merry-go-round

Well, as you can see by the picture, it is getting to that time of year again already.  I can't believe it.  As we approach the end of another year, I feel overcome with tasks and demands.  It all makes me reflect on life and what really matters.  What is it all about?  Surley, it cannot be reduced to meetings, reports and all sorts of other work matters.  Life has to have so much more to offer, and it does.  We just need to get off the merry-go-round more and take a good look at daily life.  This is just so important for appreciating who we are as people, human individuals.  

The key to life is that we simply bring our humanity to the table and be human.  We don't have to bring all the other baggage or excess that we carry around. 

I wondered where I was going with this and then it hit me.  Today is American Thanksgiving.  Don't worry.  I am not changing my citizenship but I live in Bangkok which is an international hub.  So today I celebrate mass for Thanksgiving with the Maryknoll team here from the US Church.  I am then going out to Thanksgivng dinner at a Thai pub in the evening for the sake of a friend.  All this in Thai Bangkok. 

This is very much Thailand but my Bangkok is an absolute mix of characters, peoples and opportunities.  Today is a time to give thanks for my Bangkok and all it offers me - both good and not so good; both exciting and funny; both challenging and bizarre. 

I am reminded of all this as I go back in time here and return to the Maryknoll office in Bangkok after at least seven years away following my withdrawal from their team when it was time for me to move on, and I did.  The Maryknoll team had been my entry for here, had sustained and nourished me here for five years, but it was all that I describe of my Bangkok - an absolute character but this time an entity.  To go back there today - which is only one songtaew ride away - is a journey back in time for me; a journey that will lead me to reflect on life here and to give thanks. 

I may not be going away on retreat or holiday but today I am getting off my merry-go-round in very real ways in the midst of my Bangkok, and I am sure it will all give me the booster I need, reminding me of who I am and not of all the things I have to do. 

When is a Question

Putting up the tree.

When is one of the basic questions in life. 

It arose for me this week when Om was showing off his new Christmas tree.  He may be Buddhist; he may be Thai; he may not understand but like so many from outside a Christian culture or upbringing, he is drawn by Christmas and its trimmings.  Maybe it is just the trimmings but I suspect it is much more.  Many people, no matter their background, love or have a fascination with Christmas. 

Om was so excited with his new acquisition that all he wanted to do was put up his new tree.  I did not want to dampen spirits or be an autocrat but I am somewhat a purist when it comes to Christmas and so I put forward the opinion that it was too early.  In the spirit of democracy, I decided to raise the question of when within a simple poll on my Facebook page. 

The responses rolled in: 
1st December;
after Thanksgiving;
Christmas Eve; 
16th December; 
whenever you like. 
Quite a diverse response from a limited field.  Responses came from people I know who originate from different parts of the world.  Christmas is a religious feast, becoming more and more a commercial opportunity, but it is also a cultural and family celebration. 

What does my simple poll tell me?  There are guiding principles at play.  Christmas is Christmas and the way we celebrate is valued by us all but there is no one defining response on how that is to be held by all.  I apply this to life and more important issues we face.

It is important we have values but no one set of values can be universally applied to all life situations and all peoples at all times on how we live out central life values.  We respect and uphold them, living them within the context within which we live. 

What I also learn is that asking one basic life question has led to other basic life questions - how? what? who?  Life is not black and white but rather grey.  It is not in having the answer but in asking the question that we find our way in life. 

Are we whom we say we are?

This picture shows quite the cake.  It was the wedding cake at a wedding reception I happily attended last Saturday.  Last weekend, I actually went to two weddings.  One I went as the guest and it was some reception as you can tell by the cake.  For the other, I was a priest at the marriage ceremony where I was joined by three other priests, no less.  At this wedding, I could not believe what I was watching.  On walking down the aisle, the bride nearly fell over.  Why? 

It was her dress which was so cumbersome that it disabled her from walking independently.  So to her rescue came two women who held the bottom of her dress at either side as she walked down the rest of the aisle.  I wanted to laugh but couldn't.  I wondered to myself if the woman realised how ridiculous this made her look. In trying to look stylish, fashionable, rich, she achieved the exact opposite.  I ask why do people do this to themselves?  I ask if people at weddings really appreciate what this is all about?  Or is it all show, all bubbly, all sweet and nice?  'Wedding world' does lose the plot. 

In my office at Caritas Thailand, we work for foreigners.  I sometimes, as I did this week, see the ridiculousness of our position as many Thais, even amongst those working for migrant populations, find it hard within themselves to deal with and accept foreigners.  I am not picking on them.  It is just the way it is and it is a reality I have to deal with as a foreigner myself in Thailand. 

When facing the ridiculousness arising in our realities, whether at work or in the street or at church, we can face the dilemma of our lives.  The question we are faced with is this: What is the real meaning of who we are and what we are about?  Then how do we live it? 

We present a public face about who we are and what we choose to do in life, while in our private sphere another set of even opposing factors may come into play.  This may happen unknowingly or be forced upon us as ones enter the pressure cooker that is 'wedding world'.  The dilemmas, the paradoxes, the misunderstandings, even the ridiculous of life arise.  How do we put it together?  How do we be whom we say we are or whom we want to to be or try to be?   Not easy. 

I'm back

A symbol of Lebanon

I have been to Beirut and back.  It was a great  experience.  Yes, Beirut is rather chaotic.  It has its refugees in their camp in the middle of the city somewhere. It has its distinct zones for Muslims and Christians.  There is all that but still, for me, it had a warm, welcoming feel and the people I met in my few days were so hospitable.   I was never kidnapped once. 

I did go for a three day training with Caritas International.  This meant I was well looked after.  The training was worthwhile.  The food was great.  The one complaint was that there was too much of it.  I got to do a little sightseeing trip to the Shrine of St Charbel (Maronite priest and monk) and on the way went through Byblos.  So I did much in my four days.  It was just a good all round experience.

See, nowhere is permanent.  It is good to move out and experience new places and new challenges.  It is all good for life.  Being in transition is not a bad place to be.  This week is back in Bangkok and onto another training, another learning, another challenge.  Life is in transition. The journey continues and I am doing okay.