We are all Special

The Edward-Irina Wedding

Last Saturday, I approached a wedding with a difference.  It was different because I had come to know this couple more closely than most wedding couples; I had come to feel with them as if they were my friends.  I had only met them a few times but each time they were so kind and generous to me. They loved looking after me and I loved being with them.  There was something about them.  They were special but then I questioned - what does that say about all the other couples I do weddings for?

It hit me.  You meet special people along the way and they reinforce the message of truth that we are all special.  It hit me. People are not special to us for the sake of creating exclusive clubs.  Rather the special people that come our way reinforce a perspective on life that is more realistic than the negative one we are so often given in daily life.  These special people that come our way sustain us for living a better life, a worthwhile life, a good life.

Too often we do not see humanity for what it truly is as we are overcome by the negative that we so easily and readily know in life.  We too easily give in to the negative experiences of humanity that tell us the very opposite of what sustains life.  That opposite is not the message we want to matter in our experience of life.  Edward and Irina taught me that once again.

Failure is Success

This year at Church, we are following the Gospel of St Mark.  As I get older, I appreciate the power of this gospel as so much happens in such a short space.  It is action packed, presenting the abandoned, failed Christ as the one to follow. Interesting approach?  Well, it is a life saving approach for failing followers.

This gospel was written for a Christian community of the first century that knew persecution and with it, failure.  It was no glorious age of a new and victorious world movement.  So failure is presented so as to show the way to the failed disciples of Jesus down through the centuries.  It is the gospel that presents the ever failing and falling disciples of Jesus' day but more importantly it proclaims that they always get back up on their feet.  No matter what may come our way, the message for us, the present day failing disciples. is that the ultimate victory is with the Jesus who also knew failure and who is our faithful companion through all that befalls us.  The way is tough but, with Jesus, we can be ever confident.

As I get older, I see how I continue in my own patterns of failure.  I seem to be growing, getting better with age, but then I see how I continually fall.  Well, let me not despair for this is part of the human lot but not the whole story.  For inspiration, I go to Mark and his gospel.

The image symbolizing Mark is the winged lion.  Not a symbol, one would think, for a failure.  That is because Mark is not about our being failures but about our recognizing our failed reality and placing Jesus right in the midst of it.  The roaring lion well represents Mark as the gospel begins with a roar, proclaiming that the kingdom is here.  In the midst of the roar, we only too well know our limited experience and abilities but the roar reminds us never to be overcome.

As a friend shared from his treasures of wisdom:
"Our personal sets of temptations have an amazing staying power while our graces, like temptations, stretch across a lifetime."

It is just rude

There is no photo this week as I do not want to get too political or face unnecessary personal havoc.  I did see the story of Serena Williams and my simple response is that her behavior in response to the umpire's calls was rude and overly aggressive.  For me, it is that simple.

In holding that view, I could be named as being racist and sexist.  I just respond that all I saw was a person being rude and aggressive in the public arena where that person is a highly paid professional.  Enough on this as my point is not to get into the public sphere on this very contentious debate.

My point is to reflect on behavior that I experience in my Thailand and that I experienced yet again this week.  It is behavior that is excused on the basis that it is cultural.  Well, no excuses, rudeness is rudeness. 

After a meeting at work, there is the usual lunch for everyone. I am the only westerner present.   In the effort to make conversation, I ask a question in English of the Thai person opposite me.  He does not understand me.  I can cope with that and will happily try communicating in Thai, now knowing his lack of English of which I had thought he had some.

It is what that pursued that upset me.  He proceeded to talk about me and about my being Australian with others around me in Thai as if I was not there and did not understand anything.  This may happen often in my Thailand and it may be an acceptable Thai response to having a foreigner present and to such a happening but I just find it rude.  So I proceeded to say so to the gentleman in question.

To be so direct may be seen as being un-Thai and maybe even as being anti-Thai.  I have to say that neither is true for for me.  It is not about my being racist or being intolerant.  It just was that the behavior exhibited was rude and that was it.

To express one's opinion, to speak out does not have to be colored by all sorts of politically correct overtones.  It may be as  simple as that what has happened is not right and one just needs to say so.  Sometimes you get sick of being the nice guy and saying nothing.  Sometimes it is time to speak up for oneself and the better way.  My week in my Thailand saw one such opportunity and I took it. I feel better for it as I stood up for my own rights and dignity in a simple, every day way. 

The Buddha

A Buddha image at one of my favourite temples

The Buddha looks so content and that is how he is supposed to look.  The Buddha is is not about personal weight modelling but about showing us the way out of suffering to contentment and happiness.  This image made me reflect that, after living here 13 years, I fear I may be becoming too contented under the spell of the philosophical norm of the east.  I will put it another way.

Through living here and my work which takes me to dealing with people from both the west and the east, I can recognize what I would name as western optimism versus eastern pessimism.  What does this mean?  It is not about everyone from the west being bright and rosy everyday, while those from the east are just negative and sad about everything.  I smile as I live in a land whose celebrated title is the Land of Smiles.  So what am I saying?

I am speaking of a philosophical distinction.  Optimism and pessimism speak of a continuum defining a mindset, an approach to life.  Western optimism is encapsulated for me in the approach that those from the west believe they can change anything and everything, while those from the east more just accept that this is the way it is and it will always be.

In working for change, this has a real impact.  From both perspectives, people will work for change but I see the different basis for such human endeavour and its impact on ones taking up the challenge and on the results expected.  It is not that one side always wins and the other always loses but there is nearly a self-defeating prophecy at play for both sides as neither grasps the full picture nor makes a necessarily realistic stance.

Like all things, it is not all one nor the other but there is truth in both and the reality is best played out in the happy medium - somewhere between working for change no matter what but realizing that change does not always win the day.