It is a Pope Mobile

Guess who is using my pope mobile? 

A few weeks ago, I shared a picture of my pope mobile to which someone piped up - "It's a golf buggy".  Well, here is the proof.  This is no golf buggy.  It surely is a pope mobile. 

The papal visit is well and truly over.  It is now the week before Christmas and the shutting down of another year.  It all happens so quickly that one's year deserves a time dedicated to review and reflection.  Otherwise, we just get lost in the rough and tumble of life, rolling on without a stop, not knowing what is what.  Life is what you make of it but first you have to be aware so as to be able to make it for yourself.

So I will try to capture in some simple way my 2019.

Monsignor turns 60. 

Balloons flying for a beloved home of faith that turned 100 in 2019

History of a church turning 350 years.

Where we came from

Marathon for a cathedral turning 100

How the early church recorded its history

How the church first got here

A fun temple shared with a special visitor

Refugee children enjoy fun in the pool

A Grand Palace shared with a special friend.

As I look at my pictures of 2019, I see two key themes. It has been a year for celebrating people and history that make up my life.  As always, there have been the difficulties and challenges but they do not capture 2019.  Rather my year is defined richly by significant people and significant events that speak to who I am.  All the rest is part of life that neither limits nor confines me.

I am reminded that I am part of something much bigger than myself, seeing many different and interconnected parts making up a whole.  It highlights the many interconnections that make up any of us.  Whether my focus is Church or friends, it is Thai and Australian and much more.  I am part of a universal reality.         
  

Loy Krathong wiles the slate clean for another year. 

As I decided for myself at the start of the new Church Year, 2020 is for living less burdened and letting go for the sake of life and what really matters.  I will get there.  After all, it is a pope mobile even if someone else thinks it is a golf buggy.

Above all, Christmas is here.  Ho! Ho! Ho!

And Christmas does come every year.

Tis the Season to be Jolly.

Season to be Jolly or Silly? Or are they the same type?

I have always held that control never works.  Well, it has never worked for me.  I am saying this in a land where control is such a key factor in everyday life.  The people are both highly controlled and controlling.  At the end of the day, I have to say that, as I look around and experience everyday life here, control still does not work.  End of story for me.  Let me share a recent true happening that may best illustrate my point.

I come home around 7.30pm after a couple of Friday beers with a fellow from church who wants to have a chat.  We are on his bike and he drops me off at the driveway into my apartment building where there is a coffee shop and food stand run by a young, hi-so, Thai woman.  She has two young Thai guys helping her.  Well all seems quite normal on my arrival except that one of the Thai guys keeps speaking loudly at me in a rather stern voice to move the bike and park it.  I keep saying that my friend is going home but the Thai guy keeps at it, while I keep trying to explain.  Eventually, I said in a good natured tone - "Thais are supposed to be relaxed and so relax."  Bad move.

This made the Thai guy incredibly angry with me.  He told me in a very angry tone that I was not wanted in Thailand and that I should go home.  My goodness!  So I went over to him to make a point about their food stall being ill placed and blocking the way.  He then pushed me to which I said - "You pushed me.  Where I come from that is assault and I would call the police."
He said to go ahead, to which I replied  - "Not here as the police are all corrupt."

While I reacted to the guy's anger and arrogance and his drastic ways of dealing with me, I did not lose my cool. I just ultimately said to him -  "You are not going to get me angry"; and walked away.   He was not going to control me. 

As I walked away, I saw the guy's point as there was a taxi trying to get into the driveway.  It just was that I never saw it as the focus was the guy's 'control tantrum' and the guy never said it was there.  That was not his point.

His point was giving an order and reacting badly when it was not obeyed.  This led to some aggressiveness, which was all pointless in achieving anything except to try to make a statement about who is in control.  The better way to go would have been to make some reasonable request in a reasonable tone.  A helpful result could have been the outcome but not to be.  So for now, I walk a mile away from the hi-so woman's coffee shop outside my building and avoid any eye contact.  All thanks to control gone bad yet again.

Best thing to do was what I did.  Move on!  And Ho! Ho! Ho!

Waiting

Welcoming Nee to her new job - a "hands on" experience. 

Om, my great friend, has a sister Nee who, having finished her studies, started her career this week with the Thai government.   For this joyous occasion, Om asked me to join him in welcoming his sister to her new position.  So I happily went along, not realizing the whole impact of the day. 

Unexpectedly, I was introduced to another aspect of Thai culture, a culture so family centred.  So what happened?   

Nee was joined by her family and associated friends in Bangkok on her first big day at work.  What unravelled or unfolded featured a high level of family ritual.  It entailed accompanying her to introductions with local government leaders as well as to her workplace.  It centred on lunch, paying respect to the Buddha and settling her into her new desk, complete with gifts.  It was all done together with great respect and a good sense of fun.  For me, it was an honored experience for a foreigner; another insight into the gracious side of Thai culture.  

For me, it all unravelled as another key part of this Thai experience was that nothing goes according to a schedule.  You just go and when you are there, it all takes time.  For a good westerner, what arises is impatience as there are so many other things to do.  From experience, this time I told myself just relax, go with the flow and do not react.  In doing so, there naturally arose for me a real revelation.  

It was a revelation into waiting.  On the day, we were ever waiting - getting ready, traffic, government meetings, buying gift and food.  I was asking myself - How good am I at waiting?  I was thinking all the time I hear people from outside, even the Pope, talk of the gift of the East to the West as being meditation.  That means stopping.  What hit me this day was that it means more - stopping and waiting - two things we are not good at in the West, or I am not. 

My experience with my good Thai friends told me why the East is so receptive to meditation.  Simply put, the people here know how to wait and be with each other.  Where I come from, we do not like waiting.  Waiting is the key to being with which is at heart of meditation. 

And, of course, I discovered that, in waiting, I was fertile ground for learning from the experience.  

What stays with me is a comment by Om about his other sister, Nuch, who joined in the day.  She was there from the beginning and just spent it by Nee's side, literally. Om said, "Nuch is being such a good sister by being with Nee."  Therein lies the key for meditation or a meditative approach to life - wait and be with.  Simple but not easy.   

It's the end of the year

Yes, it is.  I have not been drinking nor am I high on anything.  Truth is that, for the Church, this past Sunday was the last Sunday of the year and next Sunday is the first Sunday of a new year.  So the years go on.

As I offered a reflection at mass on the year that has been, I unpacked the bag we had packed a year ago for sustaining the journey through 2019.  How did we go?

Our bag was packed with goodies from Luke's gospel.  As I unpacked it, I recalled how we wanted just the necessities as we travel light.  These necessities were:
-Care as we want and need to look after each other;
-Solidarity as we are all in the same boat and need each other;
-Compassion as we are all weak and vulnerable;
-Love that meets the challenges of the journey;
-Faith that nourishes the journey;
-Hope that sustains the journey.

As we unpack the bag, we now need to repack for another year as the journey continues no matter what

.

I am a Refugee in the midst of a Papal Tour

Yes, the pope is in town this week.  Given my true and deep admiration for the man, I would have thought I would be out there enthusiastically waving the flag and getting right into the swing of things, but not so.  Truth is I have no wish to go anywhere near this visit. This is not about the person but the visit.  My position has arisen naturally out of my fulfilling my responsibilities in the Thai Church.

I have many stories through my work on this visit from an organisational side but the defining one is my discovering that Thai police would cover the pope's public mass to target foreigners without proper visas.  So what is this about?

To go to the papal mass, everyone needs a pass and ID.  Understandable but foreigners need to show their passport and visa page as Thai police will be checking for foreigners without a valid visa and with a criminal record.  This acts against refugees who cannot get a visa and migrants with visa restrictions attending.  These are ones I know and help.  I have to stand by them.  That was it. I now had a cause for which to stand and which enabled me to affirm my already held decision.  No going back.  Just boycott the events and watch the visit unfold from my coffee shop.

Neither category is criminal.  They are not murderers or bank robbers but people seeking rightful opportunity and security in life.  For this, they cannot even attend the papal mass which for the Catholics among them would be a once in a lifetime opportunity.  This police action acts against their right and freedom to worship.  It stands against the Church tradition of offering sanctuary to refugees.  It goes against the very grain of being Catholic.  It is an action that goes against the pope's strong stance for migrants.  "They are us", he stresses.

I can do no other but follow my Pope and be them for this visit and stay away.  That is my option with the marginalised and excluded.  I do this for me as I am one of them.  I am sure even the Pope would approve.  Viva il Papa! 

Yes, it is next week.

For the misinformed, this is not just a golf buggy but a Pope mobile.

I had the most fascinating encounter at church this past Sunday.  It made no sense but it happened.  I would not believe it myself except that I experienced it in reality.

At mass, I had shared information regarding the Pope's visit to Thailand next week and then afterwards a woman came to me to argue that it was not next week but much later in time.  Huh?  The answer is simple.  Just look at the calendar!  What got me was how insistent and belligerent the woman was about the visit not being next week.  Just impossible!  Or so it was for her.   I did not get it.  What was this about?

Then on the same day, I faced other big and unexpected challenges.  I needed a new phone and so finally bit the bullet, made my choice and bought it.  I used my credit card from back home  which had the unexpected outcome of my being bombarded with email messages from my bank back home, telling me that there were suspicious purchases on my card in Bangkok and as a result my card was stopped for verification. 

What?  Suspicious purchases?  This was not using my card at some shady bar.  Targeting Bangkok?  This is my home and has been for 14 years.  Where else do I use my card when I need to?  Just because I use my card to buy a phone at a major shopping mall, I suddenly come under suspicion of being the victim of criminal activity.  I do get it but what is this really about?

Whether an individual or a huge business, what is at play I will name as profiling and in both cases, due to no fault of my own, I become a victim of others' profiling about what they expect because of who, what and where are involved.  I believe this is a basis of unfair and unwarranted discrimination with resulting actions that accompany it.  Once again, you become a victim because of the views and beliefs held by others which they apply as they choose in their own sense of reality.

It is like the message of this week's photo.  On Sunday, I was so excited to see the Pope mobile ready for next week's visit, just sitting in the grounds of the cathedral.  So I jumped in and got my photo taken.  What was for me the Pope mobile was for someone else on seeing the photo something completely different.  The person's big question absolutely floored me - What were you doing in a golf buggy?   What is one person's Pope mobile is another's golf buggy, and you go from there.

Countdown

How cute! 

It is countdown to the big visit, with the arrival here of Pope Francis on the 20th.  As the time gets closer, I can feel the emotions, out there and in here, rising.  I see and feel the excitement of people.  I also see the flawed nerves as ones push for what they want in getting their tickets for the papal mass and their spots on the day. 

What I see and experience around this visit astonishes me as I would never have thought that a papal visit was reduced to hysteria and pandemonium.  People vent anger because they miss out on a ticket or do not get the service they expect.  Others are on and on about arrangements and making sure that everyone knows.  It goes on and on.  I just stand back and think I am so happy that on the day of the mass, I will be sitting at my coffee shop watching from afar.  I just cannot get into all of this.  Maybe it is me.  I wish that I could see and feel the other side, but I can't.  What is it? 

Disillusionment? 

I think so. Disillusionment, arising out of my experience which arises from both institutional and personal levels. 

At the institutional level, I see business being done and money being made and spent, with agendas to be supported and furthered. 
At the personal level, I see people losing a sense of perspective, reacting emotionally and irrationally, thereby losing the plot and even getting angry when they do not get what they want. 

This is my experience.  I do not deny it nor do I try to put it onto others. It is just my experience leading to my held position on a papal visit.  I recognize that my position does not adhere to the held norm within a Catholic community but then that is why I judge it worth writing it up.  For one who sees the present pope as a hero, it is not a position that I would have expected but it has arisen naturally, given my standing in the Thai Church - a standing that I would never enjoy back home.  I guess I am too close to the action and I see what I see. 

So my bottom line concerning a pastoral visit to this country by a great man of world and Church is that a pastoral visit by Pope Francis, proclaimed as one of peace and love, has much love because of the man himself but little peace because of all that surrounds the visit.   

Despite all, may peace and justice truly reign under the blessing of a man of true love and humility. 
Viva Papa! As it says on the local souvenir scarf.  Bring on the double expresso. 

Breakfast in bed

It is time for something lighter. 

On watching a HBO movie with Om, my great Thai friend, there was a scene which featured breakfast in bed.  On seeing what was happening, Om asked me - What are they doing?
I replied - Breakfast in bed.
He asked - What is that?

I soon realized that such a concept had no place in his life experience.  Om is a country lad, originating from the Northeast, otherwise known as Isan.  Knowing their life style, people sleep on mats placed on the floor.  There may not be a bed in the house or definitely at least not everybody sleeps in a bed.  When they wake up, they roll up their mat and put it in the corner of the room or else it sits there to serve another purpose during the day.

As for meals, they sit together on the floor around the mat used for this purpose.  So bed and eating just do not go together.  Actually, they would not even enjoy it as they so love being with each other that eating on your own in bed would make no sense or just be quite absurd. 

This is a classic example of how language and culture go together.  As a rural Thai, you may understand every word of this phrase but in standing together, they make no sense as you have nothing on which to base its meaning. 

Language is funny. Language is more than words.  Language is culture. 

He is coming to town. Guess who?

Guess who is coming to town?

You better watch out;
You better not cry;
Better not pout.
I'm telling you why.
Santa Claus is coming to town.

No, I am not going mad.  I know that it is still two months to Christmas  It just is that as this Papal Visit gets closer and as I hear more about what goes on around it, it sounds more like Santa Claus is coming rather than the Supreme Pontiff of the Universal Roman Catholic Church.

What I see first hand from church is that there is fake news about the visit concerning masses and tickets.  But this is not all.  There is also the touting of free tickets to papal masses with one payment for a ticket I heard of being AUS$1,500.  Then the best was yet to come.  A Chinese woman arrived from China, coming unannounced to the Bishops' Conference to get 120 tickets for the papal mass.  Sadly for her, she just assumed that she would get the tickets by simply coming to Bangkok. No such luck!

It gets even better for when I told the story to a bishop here about the Chinese woman coming all the way from China to get a ticket, he just said that she could have his ticket.  Maybe he will join me at the coffee shop on the day.  I wonder if he would wear his mitre on the day. That would be something in the middle of Buddhist Bangkok.

This is all better than Christmas.  Santa never causes such a stir on his annual arrival in town and never so much fun. I wonder if the pope knows what he is causing in coming to town.  It is not all about saying our prayers.  So, you had better watch out and be wary when the papal sleigh lands in my Bangkok.  .

Who is Geoffrey?

Christ Church, Bangkok

After fourteen years in Bangkok, I have just gone to my first funeral here in a Christian church.  It was down the road at Christ Church, an Anglican church for many foreigners in this big city. 

An English guy, I had never met but knew of through a good friend, had died suddenly a week earlier of a heart attack at the age of 79.  His name was Geoffrey.  I discover he had come as a teacher, spending half his life in Bangkok as is the way of many single, western guys coming to Thailand.  They come; they stay.   

Here he found love and meaning that sustained him in life.  He was obviously a good teacher but more than that he was a good and kind man who sought out to help those he mat in need. 

My good friend's partner was very close to Geoffrey.  He so felt this death of a dear friend.  As my friend was now away, I happily stood in and went with his partner to the funeral so as to offer needed support at this time.  On the day, the chief mourners featured Geoffrey's still legal Thai wife, his past boyfriend, plus his present one.  As my good friend's partner was Geoffrey's past boyfriend, I ended up in the front row. 

The whole story sounds complicated but it is not really.  Such is my Bangkok which seems so complex but really is very basic, even if at times messy.  It is a place where I find myself in the midst of many seemingly complex or exotic webs but really they are just part of human life lived in its many intricate possibilities. My Bangkok teaches me that Geoffrey's is yet another human story that mirrors choices made by ordinary citizens as they endeavour to live life as they know and experience it and as best they can.  There is no one straight path for all.  With all three loves, present and ex, gathered, the message of the day at Christ Church was clear.  Geoffrey was a gifted teacher, a kind and generous soul with a great sense of humour, loved by many. 

My Bangkok puts me in touch with the goodness and absurdities of humanity in ways I never imagined back home.  That is one of its gifts.  It may be amazing Thailand but it surely is that life is amazing and to be deeply treasured in all its manifestations. 

Yes, he is a rock star.

Well, at mass on Sunday, the shattering announcement was made - all tickets for the papal mass here next month are gone.  Pandemonium hit!  People are hurt.  People are not listening.  People will do whatever they can to get a ticket that no longer exists.

I made my serious, but humorous response, that I would watch the event from my favourite coffee shop.  Ones were shocked.  I had to go.  How could I not go?  If anyone had to go, it was me, or so I was told.  Really? 

The pope is my hero.  Why?  He makes amazing statements, using simple images and analogies.   He is a great user of symbols, giving powerful messages in simple ways.  He is leading us along, radical new paths.  He is a revolutionary for love and the gospel, while just being who he is - a simple and humble man.  To some, he may seem as being too timid in leading change but, hey!  This is the Catholic Church!  It would be like trying to get the Titanic floating again. 

Now the pope is heading my way and close up I am seeing what surrounds him.  I will name it as the "papal entourage" as it is what and who go with him.  I see the church politics, I see the business being done and money being made.  I see a church that does not get his message but wants him in their backyard supporting their agenda.  There is so much other unwanted and other agenda.  It all eats at my faith.  So I make my own choice.  I must stand back or otherwise this papal visit could destroy my faith. 

The pope remains ever my hero but he will never be my rock star. 

Excitement and Expectation

Last Sunday's Baptism 

I steer right away from publicly sharing personal shots but this week I make an exception because this picture expresses so much meaning and feeling, pertaining to the key part of my week. 

It shows a baptism I did last Sunday at the cathedral.  The father posted this picture on his Facebook page where I saw it and immediately it just so powerfully struck me how it expresses the excitement and expectation held by two parents at seeing their young son being baptised.

For me, this photo is a classic symbol of what our real task is in life. 

What really matters in life is not simply focusing on the presented woes and frustrations of our world.  Yes, they are best met and not ignored, but not under the leadership of people who are abusive, who exert control for their own purposes and who are guided by their own agenda.  These people lead us nowhere good, except to where they want to take us under the guise of their own dark view of the world and its evil forces. 

What matters in life is that we are about nurturing people and helping others to do the same.  As Pope Francis so aptly says -
"The future is in the hands of those people who recognise the other as a YOU and themselves as part of an US.  We all need each other."

We do not have to be overcome by a world that appears unfriendly and hostile.  What we see when we meet and engage real others is how good our world is and how much we can do to build up what we all share and hold dear - humanity and creation. The future is in our joined hands; it is in the hands of the good others we meet in our daily life, wherever we are. 

That's what it is about

Cutting the cake with two boys after making their First Confession

"That's what it is about" were the memorable words for me of Archbishop Gillie Young, then of Hobart, when campaigning for government support for Catholic schools back in the 1970s.   He reduced the whole movement and its argument to its bottom line which was about helping Catholic, working class families who were sacrificing fruit and vegetables on the table for the sake of sending their children to Catholic school.

Well, here I am in Thailand involved in all sorts of tasks and roles and what really matters is what is shared in this week's picture.  It shows me cutting the cake with two young boys who had just made their First Confession.  Their parents had provided the cake so as to help make it a special and memorable occasion.

This is what life is about - reaching out to people, supporting them, being with them, helping them recognize the deeper meaning of life and helping them along the way as needed and able.  This is what our faith is about.  This is what makes life worthwhile.  It really is not complicated.  It is in the simple joys and experiences that we share that we know what really matters in life.    .   

Pop Stars

A pop star visiting My Bangkok

In my Bangkok, one pop star at a time is enough.  During this past week, I had a most happy time with my pop star for the week, a niece visiting from back home.  While she was here, the big announcement was formally made by the Thai Church that the Pope is coming to Thailand in November.  This led to the sudden rise in my Bangkok of what I have named as the 'pop star' syndrome. 

There is all the understandable hype and excitement that accompanies such an announcement, especially when the present pope is more than just a pope.  He is a man well loved and respected by the everyday citizen, a man readily seen as a world leader when the world so lacks leaders at a time when it so needs good leaders.

So, on learning of his upcoming visit, the questions immediately arise-
Where will he be?
When?
How do we get to see him?
In a short time, it all gets too much and you realize that you have a pop star on your hands, or that is how people are superficially treating him.  It just is he isn't a pop star.  He is a simple and humble man with a simple message.

In the midst of all going on around me, it is about keeping the perspective of who he is and respecting who he is. As for me, I plan to quietly respect the man who is my hero.  I will not rush for a front row seat but go to a coffee shop in my Bangkok and sit and wait in hope that some local citizen may ask me who is the guy that they are making all the fuss about.  I will gladly share then about the man who is not my pop star but my hero - a man of and for the poor; a man who shows us a way to living a better life.   

My niece would be shocked to hear me name her as a rock star as she would just see herself as one of the everyday citizens, a good person living life as best she can. 

People are fickle.  They have very short memories and generally lack creativity.  My niece and the pope both deserve better than being the recipients of the simplistic adulation of the crowds.  They can get on and do what they do best - live life and in the process make their contribution to humanity. 

Self Care

Self care is essential to a good life.  We all need down time, free time, tine out or whatever we call it at sometime.  Well, this is my week for just this.  With the coming of my niece and her husband, it is time for a break and enjoy time with family.

So I am taking a week off from doing my blog entry.  I believe this is setting a good example.  So I am off for a bit of fun and a bit of catching up, and just getting out of my daily routine.  Very healthy.

See you next week!

Communication is the Medium

A happy birthday gathering 

I began the week on a Sunday theme of being connected in a disconnected world.  It ever amazes me how in a world full of tools for communication, how little of it actually occurs.  In our world, the walls are getting higher; the bridges are collapsing - or that is the overwhelming sense. 

My week happily has shown a different side and given me an insight into how we can better connect.

It began with my friend's birthday for which I took him and his two good friend out to dinner.  For them, it was a real treat as, while they may love it, going to an international hotel for a buffet dinner is not what they get to do that often, if ever, in their lives.  They were excited and just loved the experience of good eating and energetic talking. 

I was the only non-Thai and just enjoyed being there with them, watching them relish the evening and listening to them talk away vigorously with each other.  The truth is I did not have to be fluent in Thai and understand every word to join in and enjoy the outing. Talking and eating was the key to the evening but doing the talking was not essential to being part of the fun.  Communication was not determined by talking but by friends coming together for a common cause - to celebrate one's birthday and enjoy it.

Then my focus for the week became a Caritas Asia workshop on communication.  I so loved it as I learnt so much and just enjoyed the time with good people.  What I learnt about communication, I summed in three phrases.
1)  It is hard work.
2)  You cannot do it alone.
3)  It is a process. 

So my week finishes on a bright note brought about by good communication with good people in significant environments. Carpe diem! 

Farewell to yet another Companion from My Bangkok

Goodbye Carlos!

I have been so long here that I keep farewelling ones who have been so much a part of my Bangkok.  This week, it was time to farewell Carlos who has been a great companion and true ally. 

Carlos is off to sub-Sahara Africa, with all of its perils and appeals, where his wife has been assigned with the UN.  Their move arises from the path they have chosen for the sake of working for the good of humanity and reflects just what decent human beings they are.  Carlos is more than a friend.  He numbers among those who make up the characters of my Bangkok.

This city is a hub for everything, both good and bad.  With the comings and goings of all sorts of people from everywhere, it is one of those places in the world where you meet characters. 

What makes a character?  They are the great human beings who bear an incredible story arising out of a life lived with its more than fair share of adventure, diversity, challenge, colour and excitement.  I say that everyone who plants themselves in Bangkok has quite a story that brings them here.  This is definitely so of the characters of my Bangkok and, being in Bangkok, the story only gets embellished more and more.   What I realise living here is that even in Sydney, I would never meet the characters I meet here.  This is part of the attraction of a Bangkok. 

Of course, they are not all like Carlos.  Some are quite naughty.  Still whoever they are, they reflect the richness of humanity and add to it.  No matter their story and how chaotic or disastrous it may be, these people happily make up my life in my Bangkok and bless it with their presence.  They make here what it is, a rich tapestry of life.  They give me so much.  It is my privilege to know them.  I learn from them.  They are my teachers.  I feel sad when they go but more importantly I am ever grateful they are a part of me, making me richer for knowing them.  They never really leave.  They simply make the story that is my Bangkok.  That is true of Carlos. 

Where to in our 101st Year.

Happy birthday to the cathedral!

100 years is a milestone in anyone's life and even in the life of a public building.  So last week, we celebrated the centenary of Assumption Cathedral in Bangkok.  As I read some of the story behind its making, I could see that it was born out of the vision of one key figure - Fr Emile Colombet, the French missionary priest who was at the helm of the cathedral parish for 58 years from 1875.  I do not know much about him but the basic facts I do know tell me that he was an amazing man who surely left a legacy.

It is his legacy that is the real message of the centenary for me and that gives a clue on how to live out the 101st year and beyond.

His legacy to the Thai Church and beyond is encapsulated for me by four key words:   
Commitment
Faith
Simplicity
Vision

I try to put them into a catchy slogan but can't, and maybe that is being too flippant.  So better that I don't.  I then look at the words and see they are not doing words but being words.  They speak of the quality of the man and his integrity as a human being. 

As I say - It is not what we do but who we are that matters.  Who we are gives expression to what we do. 

I am amazed by such a man as P Colombet - at his length of time of service, at his achievements, at the mere context of his being so far away from home for so long at that time in history.  Beyond being amazed, he gives me a life to ponder and a way to inspire.  We truly are inheritors of a great faith that is meant to be lived, not enshrined.  Carpe diem!

Happy Birthday!

Fr Emile Colombet, priest for Assumption Cathedral 1875-1932

This week, Assumption Cathedral here in Bangkok celebrates 100 years of the present cathedral church building.  It really is quite a church.  Still more than a magnificent cathedral what we are celebrating is the faith and the people who built it and make it what it is today. 

An incredible character behind this great edifice is Fr Emile Colombet, who had the vision for such a cathedral church, seeing it consecrated in 1919.  A new church was needed at that time for the expanding faith community.  Fr Colombet wanted to make any new cathedral a true statement of faith but he met opposition as his plans were seen as costing too much money.  So he soldiered on and stuck to his vision and as a result we have what we have today, thanks to this great man and his endurance in the history of the local church.

As we celebrate also this year 350 years of the Thai Church, I am reading its history which I am finding just fascinating and amazing, and for such a small church so much happened. 

It was established in 1669 as a French missionary church and for its first 250 years it was a church run by the Paris Foreign Mission Society.  Over the years, it was not great numbers but significant numbers of French missionary priests of whom many were learned and gifted men.  They came here as young priests and stayed here for the rest of their lives, sacrificing much and working hard within a foreign and difficult environment.  Think about it, for them coming here from France back then would be like us facing life on the moon.

Fr Colombet was one in this line of dedicated men, and what a man, being 57 years at the cathedral, establishing a school, being concerned for the development of the people and their needs, building a new and needed cathedral and much more. He had a vision, remained true to it, lived it and saw it through to fruition.  What he saw as could be became reality for him in some real way.  What he left was a testament of faith that stands until today.

Happy 100th birthday, Assumption cathedral! 

We Need to Talk

A traumatic experience last week highlighted the need to talk - talk for seeking understanding and justice.  The obvious outcome of that true life story was no talk meant no justice.  As this week began, this same need was highlighted yet again but this time in my everyday ministry and life.

The stairway to nowhere

Hence, this has become a week for talking. 

An upsetting issue arose for me through a work email which showed people of the same team working against each other instead of with each other because of the simple lack of courtesy and acknowledgement by one party choosing to act alone.  This needed to be addressed and so the talk that should have already happened is happening this week and with much more agenda and vigour.

It is also a week of talk as my provincial is here and so there is news to share, conversations to unfold and discussions had.   

St Catherine of Siena gets straight to the point as was her way, saying,
"We've had enough exhortations to be silent.  Cry out with a thousand tongues - I see the world is rotten because of silence." 
And talk, she did.

For free

On weekdays, when at the Bishops' Conference for work, I go to morning mass presided by Monsignor in the little chapel on the second floor.  It is a prayerful place and, each morning, Monsignor adds to its environment with his daily world updates and stories.  He began this week sharing the mother of all updates.  He just started talking in his usual tone which resulted in what was shared this day being such a shock.  Was he really saying what he was saying?

He was talking about his lovely 27 year old niece and how she did turn up for lunch as planned over the weekend. He described how a possessive tomboy (a lesbian who takes a male stance in life) fell in love with his niece, telling his niece to love no one else.  Then came the most unexpected announcement from the Monsignor.  His niece had been stabbed to death by the tomboy who acted out of insane jealousy, a crime of passion.  So she never showed for lunch.  Then the story gets worse than a tragedy as the tomboy has money and, within 24 hours of murdering her lover, she has paid the police who let her go.  Such is the way of here.

So Monsignor just simply said that his niece's death was for free.  His words were - "She died for free".  I was shocked.  What was he really telling us?  I could feel the pain but it was all shared so matter of fact, as a 'fait accompli' for which there will be no consequences and life will just go on.  It is all that simple, or is it? 

What was he really saying when he said "for free"?  The great tragedy of here is that I may never know for so much here is hidden, so much that is bad is just accepted and you move on.  I feel numb.  I do not know what to make of it.  I pray for all involved but do I understand the outcome? No, I don't.  Do I accept it?  No, I don't but I can't do anything about it.  So I pray.  God rest her soul. 

Our lovely chapel - my daily place of refuge

This is one of those times when living here, I feel like I am on a different planet.  We are all of the same humanity, but are we?  Yes, Monsignor can say for free but as Americans say - "there is no such thing as a free lunch". 

PS  -  This week, there is a PS as, after talking with Monsignor further, I know what he is saying.  It is that with his niece's murderer paying off the police, is his niece's life of so little worth?  He is so sad.  Now this makes sense.  Maybe here is not such the mystery.  The point is that few here talk about what is really going on in life and so, as an outsider, you never know and life remains a mystery.   

A Driven Land

Driven to flee to Thailand

So much of my reality here is not led by reason or good sense but driven by people's desire to simply get what they want.  Whether Thai or foreigner, so many around me seem driven by such an intense energy that I would name it as lusting after their wants.  Yes, lust, and I see this in a significant number of people who are part of my Bangkok.

There are those among my western neighbours who lust after booze and sex but the lust I am naming here is about much more and is evidenced in the lives of many more people than just the few lost souls who reach here from western shores.

There are those in both Church and society here who lust after power, wealth, position; who lust after anything and everything, even doing good.  I have always named my Bangkok as an intense place to live.  Now I can understand why.  As for me, I get tired of it all as it is all too much for me.  So I just stand right back.  There is so much about this side of human existence that I do not get.  People are driven for what purpose?

From what I observe, they are never happy, always thrusting full speed ahead.  Then their behaviour can be utterly destructive of good order and easily lead to unplanned and unwanted outcomes.   It can simply destroy the very thing they are aiming for.

This seems such a negative note to finish on but this is not the end for me as all this tells me that being driven speaks of how much we lack vision for life.  Vision is what rightly guides and leads us, not drive us.  We all need a vision.  We need a vision to lead us to the great and good outcomes that can be ours today. 

Vision speaks of leadership.  Being driven speaks of being lost and giving into our compulsions and narrow self-interest.  The people without a vision perish.

The Land of Holidays

Thailand has many titles given to it for use by the outside world.  One title it does not project but you see is apt when living here is - the Land of Holidays.  There are forever holidays.  I believe it is a pay-off for not getting paid that well. 

Anyway, this week Tuesday and Wednesday were holidays.  Tuesday was Asahna Bucha Day when they remember the Buddha's first preaching to his first five disciples.  Wednesday was a holy day for Buddhist Lent which occurs this time of the year, coinciding with rainy season. 

In an agriculture based society, having Lent during rainy season makes a lot of sense for very practical reasons.  One is that in a farming community, having the monks move around during rainy season while the rice is growing is not smart, as the farmers do not want monks plodding through their rice fields and spoiling their crops.  So it is good sense to keep the monks in their temples and give them something productive to do, namely, meditate during Lent.  I think that is really clever.

Part of the local interpretation of the whole Buddhist holiday is not to drink.  So bars are closed and drink is not sold.  Still holidays are celebrated here as elsewhere with people going away and going out, Buddhist holy day or not.  Thais have their way of doing things.  Having said that, these are the days when Thais go to the temple and follow Buddhist ritual.  It is wonderful to see and great to participate in. 

So I did the Thai Buddhist thing while also taking up the opportunity to partake in a Christian practice of joining in a morning of reflection which was led by a Capuchin visiting from Italy.  He shared a great insight as one coming from outside.  He said that Bangkok was a place where we Christians should be in mission as it is another centre of secularism in our world, another one of those huge Asian cities without a souls.  The latter is my term of phrase.  We are here to help give a soul and so enrich the many holidays. 

I'm not Thai, never will be.

A true prophet. 

Time and again over the years here, what I face in my Bangkok is the eternal reality, or sometimes more the eternal stumbling block, that is Thai culture.  I have never lived in a country where the culture card is played so powerfully and continually.  Once you hear a Thai say, "This is Thai culture", stand back and say no more.  I wonder where I stand on this front when dealing with my life in Church, in the the street or workplace or even among my friends.  Then I found this piece I have kept from a course I did in the USA over 15 years ago.  I read it and thought how prophetic.

What was the piece entitled?  Spirituality of a missionary.
What does it share?  Here goes.

You are not of the local church.
You are always a foreigner and never understood.
You are not here for power or prestige.
You work hard but never attain worldly success, nor are you seen as a success.

Yes, amazingly all so prophetic as now I know how true all this is. 

So my notes of 16 years ago finish:
Never fool yourself about success as you are at the bottom and you are there for a reason.  It is about Kingdom which is about turning our world upside down.

So that is what I am doing?  I am t
urning the world upside down.  At the moment, it is more me who feels turned upside down.   

It's the Struggle, Stupid!

Bill Clinton once turned an election campaign around with his now famous one liner - "It's the economy, stupid!"

Well the same experience happened for me last week when a smart Burmese guy here at work made a reflection that just hit me there and then.  He told me that I was so much stronger now than when he first met me 12 months ago.  I straight away had this line just come to me - "It's the struggle, stupid!"

I do not have to repeat myself nor go into describing the issues of my struggle, nor do I choose to do so.  Just a waste of energy and I am over it.  What is the key is the struggle itself as it is the way to building up life.

To put it in perspective, I believe that the key insight into life is appreciating how vulnerable we are which is what comes to us through the struggle we all share and know.

I am a vulnerable and fragile human being and it is as that person that I can act on my life and build it up.  I ask - Why?  For me, it is because I no longer have to be someone else nor be the person that others want me to be.  I don't have to be perfect because I am not.  I don't have to be successful because I don't need to be.  I don't have to be in control because it does not work.  I just be me and build myself up from where I am with a little help from my friends.

So the struggle makes me.  I am not at the end but on the way.  I am not perfect but don't want to be and never will be.  So the struggle continues and it makes me who I am.  What a journey it is.

It's the struggle, stupid! 

The Three Musketeers

All for one.  One for all.

Bangkok is one of those places in the world where you forever are meeting great characters, or that is my experience.  It is part of what makes this place ever exciting for me.  I have to say that even in a Sydney I would never meet the extent of characters I meet here.  For me, this is part of the appeal of a Bangkok, making it such a special place.  Yes, my Bangkok is a crazy and intense place but that goes with its being a hub in the world, attracting all sorts of people from everywhere. 

What makes a person a character?  They are made by their depth of commitment to spiritual pursuits and humanity.  They are made by their engagement with life in a variety of ways and places.  They are made by their breadth of experience of people and our world, with insights gained that take them the next step beyond where most people just stand and wait.  They are made by their work which they value and see as vital.  They never cease to fascinate me.  Their appeal never loses its sparkle.  Given their travels, novel approaches to life, variety of story and the like, character is the only word I can think of to describe them. 

I garner from them rich words of advice and pearls of wisdom that, along with the tantalizing conversations and nourishing encounters, keep me going along the right path in a Bangkok that can be so bizarre and dysfunctional. 

Why am I thinking of them now?  Three of them are my bestest, as I hear Thais say.  Last week, I had the chance to spend time with each of them.  This was unusual but very welcome and providential at a time when I had faced a key challenge in my workplace.  I realized by the end of the week how much my time with them meant for me.  And why?

Basically it is because of the deep loyalty they always show me.  They believe in me and I believe in them.  This is key to making life sustainable and nourishing; to making life more than bearable, to making life more than just a survival course.  In the midst of the bear pit that can be my Bangkok, there are people who really matter to me, who make the bear pit a place where you can operate with integrity and rise above the fray.  They truly give life to a vulnerable soul. 

Always expect the unexpected

This week's title was my closing line and promise from last week.  Yes, I did make my needed stand for myself last week.  It was time and I did it.  Because I had acted for my integrity, I did feel a renewed sense of energy.  That was a natural outcome but there was another outcome that was totally from left field, which left me gasping for breath.  It was the total lack of any recognition form the recipient of my stance.  Life just went on with a lecture on Thai ways and a briefing on the next task.  It was as if I had said nothing but I did say something.

My only sense is that my experience spoke of the other world that is Thailand and Asia.  I never expected what I got but that is how it is here.  Even after so long here, I never cease to be taken aback by the unexpected.  I live in a totally different world from my Australia.  Such is my Bangkok.

What was at play? Avoidance of conflict? Manipulation? Cultural dissonance?  Tolerance? Or was it just the person involved?  Maybe it was a mixture of all five or more.  Ultimately, I can't say.  All that aside, the reality was that I had done what I needed to do and could do.  No more was needed - or at least for now.

I did go away feeling reinvigorated, ready to face the world, but I also felt as always here a sense of mystery surrounding how people operate and survive in the east.  So life goes on and I can continue on my quest to try and do my bit in the world in this somewhat strange place I call home - my Bangkok.   

It is good to be free

I discover through my work with migrants that slavery is not a thing of the past but still very much with us, just under a different name.  What I find lacking is that the modern name - human trafficking - sounds so antiseptic and just does not express the full impact of such a human evil.

There are the tragic victims of modern slavery but sadly it reflects how all of us are enslaved in some way or another.  We all experience people, systems, dynamics or behaviours that hold us down or back.  We may or may not be aware of these harsher realities in our lives but they are there.  Then at times, we consciously make ourselves aware of what is enslaving us so as to stand up and act for ourselves.  These are the good times.  These are times when, no matter what the fear may be inside, we feel good and strong about life and ourselves.  This is telling us we are doing the right thing and we can do it no matter what.   

St Bernard of Clairvaux

My week began in such a context.  It is time yet again to stand up for me and not just keep doing good work and helping people.  While good work and helping our neighbour are essential to life, there is something much more basic to life.  This is what gives meaning to who we are.  I often say that who we are is much more important than what we do.  I always say and know so well that control does not work and that success and perfection are not a part of the equation in life.  It all leads to personal disaster.  Then I read St Bernard of Clairvaux who so passionately reminds us what life is all about.  He names the Spirit as the kiss of the mouth between the Father and the Son.   God freely chooses to share that kiss with us and we become the kiss of the kiss.  We are the kiss of the divine kiss.  Wow!

Life is about so much more than what we experience and know.  When I feel constrained in life, I remember the Anglican Bishop of Durham of the days of Maggie Thatcher when I was studying in London.  Back then he was publicly crucified by political foes for making his stance in defence of the common citizen.  Yes, he was controversial.  Yes, he had dodgy theological stances.  Yes, he was not of the stature of a Bernard of Clairvaux figure.  Still despite all that, he made his mark, being a church figure of his day dedicated to the plight of the suffering working person and the poor.  He stood firm against all opposition.  His episcopal motto says it all: Non illegitimi carabundum - Don't let the bastards get you down.  So stand back world.

PS - I did stand up for myself.  I was ready for the worse but the outcome was just totally from left field.  Such is Thailand.  More on this next week.  "Always expect the unexpected."

A Welcome Diversion

Grandma with her young graduands

I finished last week with a most welcome diversion.  Om, my great friend here, had me join his family at the beach where they all gathered for the occasion of a younger family member graduating from university.  I really enjoyed it.  For all I may share over the years on Thailand, where the country really works is at the level of the family.  Thais are like pigs in mud when they are with their family.  As an outsider, you just seldom get the opportunity to have an inside look. 

One of the special people in Om's family and one of the ones who makes time so special for me with them is Grandma.  Well, they call her grandma.  If I gather it correctly.  She is the oldest sister to Om's mum who died a few years ago.  Om tells me that in Thai culture when his mother died, her oldest sister took on the role of grandma in the family.  So she is grandma.  The few times that she sees me, she always shows me great affection, gives me a hug and has a bit of a dance with me.  I suspect she may have the hots for me but no worries about running away with her. 

What stays with me from my 24 hours at the beach with Om's family was grandma's care for me and the graciousness she showed me.  At dinner, I sat at her mat and, when I was given some chicken, I shared it with her for her to eat as she had been so kind already to me.  What happened next took me by great surprise.  Instead of eating the chicken, she started stripping off pieces of flesh and giving it to me to eat.  This was not my intention.  As an egalitarian Aussie, I wanted to tell her to stop but I didn't as I figured it was much more polite for me to accept her graciousness towards me. 

And that is what stays with me of the time away with Om's family - the graciousness of one of their highly respected and loved elders towards me.  What doubly stays with me is how she so naturally chose to do this for me.  Thailand does work at the level of the family and for obvious reasons. 

Focus on where, not who

My social work training taught me never ask Why questions as they are too closed.  Now in a paper on the plight of refugees, I read that the best focus for bettering their lot is gained by asking Where and not Who questions.  This focus refers to refugees' building up their resources where they are and not put the focus on the other to provide for them as these others may prove unable or unreliable.

It struck me to apply this same principle to me and where I have been lately in my Bangkok.  In my last entry, I maybe voiced a prophetic question, when I wrote - So where to now?

Getting around in my Bangkok

What has stayed with me over the last few weeks has been a powerful line I read from Schillebeeckx writing on Church some 25 years ago.  It reads that the Church is impelled to follow the vulnerable, even helpless, rule of God.  Wow!  This is not naming simply following God, but God's rule which applies in our physical reality.  Making it more personal, I am impelled to follow the vulnerable, even helpless, rule of God in my Bangkok, my physical reality.  So where to now for me?

Am I being derailed?  The point of the insight for the refugees is that they look to where they are now and look neither to where they could or want to be nor to some patron, even one that may be a powerful institution.  This tells me it is about standing where I am and building up my resources where I am.  What are the resources available where I am now?  In my Bangkok?     

The two greatest that nourish me in life and mission here are adventure and opportunity.  There is adventure in this place of surprises, never knowing what will happen next.  As I always say - here, my life can turn right around in 24 hours.  Then there is opportunity.  Here, I am given all sorts of tasks and responsibilities in many different areas.  You could say that I punch above my weight or to put it another way - Here I have major roles of responsibility in Caritas, while back in Australia, Caritas would never even consider me.  So my Bangkok is a place where I find life and nourishment.

Having written this piece, I came across an article on pilgrimage which struck me that nothing happens by accident for the writer made the very point that place is sacred for it is where we find God, ourselves and the other.  Reading his reflection on the theological importance of place in our tradition, I realized how meaningful is my sharing this week which started out of nowhere.  Nothing happens by accident; everything has a purpose.

We are Called to be Missionary Disciples

On 4th June 1669, the pope of the day established the local church in Siam.  So last Saturday saw a major celebration of the Thai Church to celebrate its 350th birthday.  This enticed me to travel to a place just outside Bangkok that I call the Thai Vatican as there you find the national seminary, the Bangkok pastoral centre, the Catholic cemetery, a Catholic school and minor seminary, and much more.  The area is otherwise known as Samphran.  Featured amidst all this Catholic property is the John Paul II hall where the mass for the occasion was to be held. 

As I approach the site, I am overcome yet again by its grandeur.  It is all too much for me.  Then I see so many people and all the food stalls ready for lunch.  I am just overwhelmed as is this not a small church in a Buddhist country?

John Paul II Hall

 The experience of this was one of caught between being overpowered and being overwhelmed. 

Let the event begin

Beyond buildings and presented wealth, I am then overcome by the number of Catholic Sisters taking up the front seats inside the hall.  Then the entrance procession begins and I wonder - where do all these priests come from?  This is a small church but so many priests and then the bishops.  All this in Buddhist Thailand where the church is such a minority and all this grandeur when this small church is often fearful of taking a high profile.  All too much for me.

I can sense the grandeur but do not feel a part of it.  It belongs to someone else.  I feel so small in this church, insignificant, surrounded by so much wealth and ecclesial hierarchy.  What is going on?  I name it as i am standing in a Catholic enclave in Buddhist Thailand.  It is an experience of church that excludes the little people thanks to its use of grandness.

Original dictionary by two early French bishops

I have this experience of being overwhelmed but it is also a powerful experience.  I was so glad I went for there was the history and the culture.  They had a display of church texts from their history and there was the orchestra and choir. Both just fantastic.    So where to now?

The Thai Church has chosen its way.  At this grand celebration, it proclaimed itself to be the Church of missionary disciples.  I wonder how when it is so caught up in its own grandeur.  Quite the challenge. I would think, but anything is possible in my Bangkok.  So history shows and so the choir sings.

Orchestra and Choir  

Beyond the big event, beyond the party, it is taking on the commitment of the hard work of becoming the poor and humble church, that reaches out and gives dignity to those with none.  So we be church.  So we be disciples and change both ourselves and our world.  Which is harder?

I have power over no one

In a conversation this past Sunday with a refugee I have helped for so long, he made a point that was just spot on such that it became a cathartic experience in my week. He said -
"You can't have power over the community".
While control has never been my aim and such a comment may show how much I am misunderstood, it made the point that needed to be made to make me stand back and reflect.

Then the next day, I receive a message from a good friend presently doing the Camino in Spain.  Her one word reflection on her experience which hit me in the gut was that it is "liberating".  To cap it all off, I am sent a photo from the cathedral of the Sunday mass with all the bishops (sadly I cannot download it as the picture says it all) and, as I look at it, I just naturally and loudly hear the message being voiced - "Control does not work".

So the message for me was clear and liberating. I then felt so liberated inside.  I was so excited that I posted my insight on Facebook which so highlights the age we live in.  Then another friend, who has already done the Camino, sent me a message, sharing his lasting impression of that experience.  His walking the Camino meant for him, walking from
-control to compassion;
-anger to understanding;
-task to relationship.
Now that direction in life is me.  It is what I want and seek,
and always talk about; and it happened for my friends doing the Camino.

I suspect I may be doing my own Camino.  Just, as is usual with me, in my own way; and am doing it in my Bangkok which is far from a rural and appealing Spain.

A week off

Assumption Cathedral features in my Bangkok

Every Sunday, I go to the cathedral to preside at the 10am mass in English.  It has become a focal point of my weekly routine and a source of rewarding pastoral activity.  I enjoy it, recognizing that it nourishes my life in my Bangkok.  This week, it is not to be as I have been given a day off by the Cardinal.  After all, it is his cathedral.

What is the occasion?  This coming Sunday, the Cardinal and bishops of the country have decided to host a mass at the cathedral to celebrate the occasion of Thailand's having a new king.  This highlights for me a number of reflections.  One is the relationship between culture and religion, and here, where culture is such an important feature in the life of Thais, this is ever present and ever powerful. 

There are two key elements to being Thai that are captured in their flag.  First, to be Thai is to be Buddhist.  Second, at the centre of Thai society and life is their king.  When one is Thai but not not Buddhist and belongs to a universal body, the church, there are some real conundrums at play, both at personal and institutional levels.

These can be simply named as:
I am Thai but not Buddhist.  How can this be?
I am Thai but have at the same time a central belonging to a body much bigger than my Thailand and with its pope.  What does this mean for a Thai?

In being a Thai Catholic, there are some powerful undercurrents pulling simultaneously at both individual Catholics and their Church.  Having a week off does not deny these undercurrents.  It only serves to highlight them and make one ever wonder what is really going on and where is it all leading for a Thailand in the 21st century? 

The basic challenge for Church here can be summed up by the two, age old, competing paradigms of Church - the Church triumphant versus the the poor and suffering Church.  I know where I stand.  For Thais, this remains ever a deeply rooted, conflicting conundrum as their structured and hierarchical culture pushes them and keeps them in one corner, while the universal Church of a Pope Francis serves to push them in the other direction. 

Within such a basic tension, one does need a week off.