Heroes?

You know during the past I yet again lost a hero in my life.  No, he didn't die.  He just showed that he could not live up to my expectations as one of my heores.

I tend to do that - proclaim heroes for me in my life.  And you know what?  Time and time again, they fail the test once I have proclaimed their hero status.  I have to say that what I do to them is unfair as, in making someone my hero, I place for my sake too high an expectation level on them and I don't think anyone can meet my required expectation level to be my hero. 

The other side is that proclaiming heroes may be my way of coping and abrogating responsibility as it is not for heroes to do for me what I cannot do but for me to keep trying to do my bit.  It may also be my way of finding a comfortable fantasy world which just does not exist. 

I live in a city full of people who seem to live in a fantasy and just not grounded in any reality.  I am not sure why here or if it is just more noticeable here.  On Wednesday, I met an Australian I have not seen for awhile.  He had apparently gone home for business.  Now that he is sorting out his business, he is looking at returning to living in Bangkok.  What are his plans for the future?  Return and settle in Jomtien next to Pattaya.  There he has western, male companionship and it is still close enough to Bangkok where his Thai male partner lives.  Why then not live in Bangkok?  Well, by living in Jomtien, he can indulge in seeing the Thai guys of Pattaya, while he is still with his chosen partner who is a solid citizen and decent guy with a good professional career.  In Australia, while divorced, he is still the straight grandfather and father.  He expresses an amazement at why he does what he does when he has so many good people in his life.  As a businessman, he presents as the hardline rightwinger.  I present this not to lay any moral judgement but simply as a real life example of what I mean by people not grounded in reality and living in some fantasy. 

As I say many times, THE QUESTION in my Bangkok is this:
Is it real or unreal?  Or  What is real? 
Just now I thought of the childhood tale of the velveteen rabbit who asked the same question and found the answer in a rather perceived uncomfortable corner.