Well, I live in a city where there seems to be no shortage of 'father knows best' types and they are not just sitting there acting wisely nor for the good of those who come their way. The ones I come across tend to be older western guys who have lived here awhile and think that they know everything about the local scene. So they proceed to preach their message to the new western guys. I was sitting in the midst of such an episode this week.
I am at Nandos, one of my local hangouts, having a chat and along come the two newly arrived Americans who sit for a chat with the assembled group of locals who all know me as Fr John. These two guys are just entranced under the spell of the local western male 'know all' who professes to know it all about here. The well known local farang proceeds to preach about Thailand and what they should know about here. I think, "The cheek of the man". Still the Americans were loving it and just taking it all in.
The preached message features how Thais are so much better and how we from the west get it all wrong. I have so heard this before. No, don't worry. This is not a mud slinging match against Thais. This is a reality check to remind myself that this place has its fair share of western 'know alls' who sadly get an audience here that they would never entertain back home. They are generally the expert sitting sucking on their beer, while giving their version of the gospel on Thailand which is all just screwy.
Truth is no matter who we are and where we come from, we all get some of it right and some of it wrong in life. The dad in "Father Knows Best" knew this very well. That is why he was such a wise man. It is never one is all right and the other all wrong.
What ones, like my local 'know all', present is part of the picture and it is their picture. Yes, Thais do not suffer from guilt but they suffer from shame. Yes, they do not have the burdens of a Judeo-Christian west but that does not mean they are freer than us. They have their own burdens to carry in their society. Yes, there is an acceptance of one's sexuality in Thailand but that does not simply mean that they can go and do what they want and be who they want to be. There are strong expectations placed on them. I am not slinging in any way at Thais but I do hold that what western 'know alls' do by taking their throne and preaching the message of Thailand is to show a lack of understanding and respect for both Thais and foreigners. It is really more about these westerners taking the control seat and showing who is best - them.
And of course, the focus topic is trying to help newly arrived, western males understand what they find and enjoy here - sex with seemingly free Thais. Please! All I could do was walk away and think, "Don't they get it? People are people. There is no free lunch in this world. People so deserve so much better. Thais and Thailand deserve so much better."
As my neighbour, the 'know all', said in one part of his homily - "T.I.T." which is a well known, local saying. It means "This is Thailand". It is supposed to easily explain away so much about here. Well, maybe it is more - O.I.T. - "Only in Thailand".
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