Culture is a Powerful Force (or at least in Thailand)

Om, my great friend here, just had a long awaited and necessary operation.  During his hospital stay, I stayed in his room as his night carer.  This may seem strange to an Australian but that is what happens here when one goes to hospital.  You are joined by your family who come to take care of your needs and comfort you in your pain.  I believe in Latin America they called this accompaniment.

Anyway, the morning after the operation, he is talking to his friend in the USA, Jim, by Skype and I hear the conversation which just captivates me as it said it all about the power of culture in a Thailand. 

Om has just moved into his newly owned condo and as such he is having his house warming but it is much more in Thailand.  Like most things in Thailand, the housewarming is centred around Buddhism and family.  So all the family is due at the condo for making merit, the second day after his operation.   

The scene I share that gave me my insight of the week was of Om in his hospital bed, 18 hours after his operation and still in great pain, talking with Jim by Skype.  The conversation from Om goes like this -  

My family and Buddha come to my house tomorrow so that I have good life; have good money and have good luck.  

So you may be lying in pain in a hospital bed but where must you be; what must you do?  

While you need care, you leave hospital to go home to be with the family and make merit.  Now you see what matters.  It is not driven by personal care or common sense but by the local culture.  

I am so western and have to finally just accept that culture rules the day here.  So I say nothing.  What is the point?  If I shared my view and advised staying an extra day to receive good and needed care, I could appear to be even worse than culturally offensive.  Culturally imperialist!  This is the problem with us westerners.  We don't get it and become like new vogue cultural colonizers.  So stand back and keep quiet.    

Truth is that while I may argue for Om to stay in the hospital, not to go home may have more dire consequences for him - consequences around his world view, psyche and relationships with his family, his world and his very self.  These are much more pertinent and life threatening issues at play than any concern for self-care and need for intensive medical care.  I have to learn to just bite my tongue, respect the local ways and think to myself - remember you are a westerner in someone else's country.

Still there are judged times to speak out as no culture is 100% perfect but more importantly there are ways to speak out that are both sensitive and appropriate, as well as proving more successful in achieving some good.  Never be the western imperialist as it is both wrong and ineffective.

Just smile and good luck as you face the challenges of everyday life in a different land!