No skin, please.

I took this shot as I was so taken by the traditional dress of the young Thai girl for this wedding I had at the cathedral recently.  The style of dress just speaks of Thai class and dignity.  The bride and groom were a by-product for this photo, just naturally joining in for the pose. 

I find myself doing more weddings these days which is introducing me to ever more pastoral practices of the Thai Church.  What is being revealed to me  horrifies me as I am seeing more clearly the level of control the Thai Church applies in its pastoral practice.

Wedding couples as they approach their marriage in the Church face control over all sorts of issues.  One big issue is the bride's gown.  My goodness!  I believe that one should be respectful in their dress but the level of intervention is quite amazing.  It is treating adults as children.  Even the priest here is to counsel the bride to be about her dress.  (I don't as it is not my area.) 

I have a bride - not the one pictured here - who is told that her dress is too transparent and has to alter it.  The issue as explained to me is that you see the skin through the material.  I have to say that we are not talking revealing here, just that you can see skin.  I was gobsmacked.  How do the church authorities know about a bride's dress?  Well, brides are to submit a photo of their dress before the wedding for a judgement.  In weddings here, I actually would be more concerned about the level of cost but that is not the case. 

As for the bride concerned, she is a good and intelligent woman whom I enjoy meeting with her future husband.  She holds to no religion but shows a searching heart and inquiring mind.  I am an anti-control freak but I wish to go beyond the issue of control to the issue of how does Church make a positive impact on a person like this 'bride to be' if they just focus on controlling them according to the local Church's norms? 

The Church in Asia has chosen as a basic thrust that of inter-religious dialogue which from what I can see means high ranking clergy and religious meeting with high ranking Buddhist monks for chats and exchange of gifts.  It all involves a lot of talk with little trickle down effect, as I see it.  So the question is how do you touch the average citizen? 

Not in this way of engaging in high level dialogue and not by overcoming the average citizen with Church doctrine and control mechanisms whenever they come your way.  Nearly every wedding in the Church here is between a Catholic and a Buddhist and so here lies a real life opportunity for some 'hands on' inter-religious dialogue.  And what do we do?  Waste the opportunity by focusing on if one can see the skin of the bride.  How tragic!  Another missed opportunity for inter-religious dialogue where it counts - in people's lives. 

How to touch the heart?  How to tap into the spirit of the people?  Not through control.