This coming week sees the fifth anniversary of my mum and dad's death. They died in the same week. Each year around the anniversary of my parents, one part of my family will put photos of their grandparents on Facebook and each year I cringe. My inner response is - They're dead. Let them be. Why keep bringing them up for the whole world to see?
Life is never perfect. Imperfections reign in all our lives. I had wondered what would happen to all the hard bits, the unresolved matters at hand that had built up in dysfunctional ways over the years in my relationship with mum and dad. On their death, I found out. There was a natural and sudden letting go. It all just happened. It was the miracle for me of their death. Everything was resolved and I was left with grateful memories and fond thoughts of two people who loved me deeply.
Any conflict I had with them over my 55 years was resolved. Any bad memories were gone. Any fear I had of what next in the control line with them no longer mattered. My only natural, inner stance was to be ever thankful for mum and dad, appreciating that they were good and kind people who always did their best to do the right thing by me. They loved me, loved me as much as they possibly could, and that was it. They were now gone to God, remaining ever close in a new way. It was that simple. No need to explain anything.
So why keep bringing them back in a public forum through Facebook? Just let them be. I don't get it. I even don't like it as I would think that mum, who was such a private person, would hate to see she was put up for public display on a Facebook page. We do such things for ourselves. There is no need to do anything for mum and dad now other than pray with and for them, and remember them with love, gratitude and fondness. What more can we do? No more.
They lived a lifetime together. They loved their family together. They died together. They did what they could. It is that simple. Let them be with God. That is how I see it.
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