Codependent is not a Bad Word

I recently watched a clip from the US Late Show featuring CNN's chief medical correspondent, talking on COVID-19.  What struck the social worker in me is that he stressed the value of our being codependent in the midst of this pandemic.  Yet, in social work terms, we learn that codependency is something to be treated, being named as a weakness for it is about individuals having an excessive reliance on others.  It is a personal liability for codependency tells us that we need other people for our self-approval and our sense of identity.  Codependency is named as a factor in enabling another's addictions, immaturity or irresponsibility.  It is just not identified as a personal strength in relationships.

Oscar Romero - 1977 in Rome

 In contrast, Dr Sanjay is turning it all around by saying that my behaviour in self-care and respect for others at this time is impacting upon others in my life and beyond.  It is not just about being responsible for myself, but being responsible for all others who come within my wide sphere of influence.  As a doctor, he clearly states that my obligation is to behave well so as to look after others.  So he says we are co-dependent.  Basically, if I behave badly or irresponsibly in looking after my health and hygiene at this time, I could be doing harm to someone else, without even knowing it.  He is reminding us that we are responsible for others through being responsible for ourselves.  We are co-responsible.  This is not about abrogating anyone's responsibility for self but about upholding our responsibility for each other.   Truth is we need one another.  We cannot thrive as isolated, selfish, self-centred beings for that is the path to an inhuman life and, at this time, literally to death for some.

Then this week, we remember Saint Oscar Romero.  He was the archbishop of San Salvador at a time of civil war and brutal repression.  He totally lived out his responsibility for his people.  He was their voice, being the voice for the voiceless.  In acting to stop brutal killings and oppressive injustices, he himself was murdered by the oppressors.  As a leader. he gave his life for others who had no life

Dr Sanjay shares on true human leadership called for within a pandemic.  Romero lived true human leadership because he followed the gospel and loved his people who were caught up in terrible suffering due to the actions of a ruthless and selfish elite.  He did not have to do anything but Romero was compelled to act by the gospel and on seeing the killing and suffering of innocent people.  He knew his responsibility and lived it.  Such true leadership gives life for all.