What is real?

This is not first time I have asked this question living in Bangkok.  I guess it is this sort of place. 

This time I find myself asking this same question as on Monday I got the call from my boss, the Bishop, asking me, or more telling me, to take on the role of Executive Director at NCCM (the National Catholic Commission on Migration at Caritas Thailand).  This is the job of the boss.  It is a promotion and surely I should be celebrating having reached the zenith of my career with Caritas.  If I was back home, that may be the case but I am here in Thailand and I find myself standing back quietly and wondering and asking - what is this about?  where will this lead?  I have become naturally reflective rather than jubilant. 

This is my innate reaction after having lived and worked here for seven years and more.  I know how the show operates and in particular I know the individuals involved in this particular scenario.  So it all makes me think about what is really at play. 

The position itself became vacant as the priest who has had this role had his last day at his desk on Monday.  He had decided that his contract was up and that he was not going to renew it.  Basically, he had done what he could or he had had enough and it was time to move on.  This is quite reasonable but it is how it was all done.  there was no real planning or consultation.  It all just happened and that is how things seem to happen here.  They just happen and when they happen, they happen quickly.  As I say, your life can change right around in 24 hours in a Bangkok.  You never know.   

In this case, I am the person on the spot and the easy target or the one to naturally assume that he will be the one for the job and he will do it because I am known and trusted and here.  Simple but not really.  Like everything else in this culture, there is always more to it than what is seen on the surface and in this case I know what is under the surface.  Hence, I stand back and reflect and try to take it all in so as to make sense of what is happening and what is really involved. 

I know the ongoing challenges, I know the characters involved and how they operate or fail to operate, I know the institutional failings.  Maybe I know too much and that is why I stand back and think.  It is frightening when one knows what is lying under the surface or what is really at play.  This is the other side of living in a culture where there is always more to it or the other side and you are here never knowing what is really happening or what it is all really about when dealing with people and life.  The truth can be that when you do know, it can be frightening and make one stand back and think.