There is no answer that is the answer

Last week, I was left with a huge issue for me at my workplace.  Why was it huge?  Because it was about an issue of justice in our work.  I had received an instant communication from afar, notifying an immediate action that affected our good work. All the questions arose for me.  How can someone do that to us?  This is not right.  This is not fair.  I had to respond and respond I did but in my way as a well educated, western liberal theologian who is very conscious of what is right and just. 

So I responded in a brilliant way with a well composed response to the sender that made points in a non-offensive way.  I also shared openly and honestly my ideas and difficulties as I should on the matter and my options for action with my Thai leadership in camera.  I did all I did as I knew to do as a good westerner and in good ways that I had learnt from back home.  I have been well trained. 

But then I realised, and I should have known, I had gone too far for Thai or Asian ways as one does not be so direct on issues, even in house or discrete circles.  They just don't seem to appreciate such behaviour.  I was reminded on this in a polite and simple way and I was left me reeling.  It made me realise, even after nine years here, how do you ever deal with issues, with difficulties here as no one seems to want to discuss them directly and face them head on. 

I went into my shell asking myself all the questions and trying to see a response for me.  On Monday, I went and talked with a trusted colleague here - an American Baptist minister who has been here over 20 years.  I just needed to talk with him.  I was not seeking any answers.  Then at the end, he made a comment that gave me my answer or reminded me of the answer for here - There is no answer. 

This might make no sense if you don't know a Thailand but it sure made sense for me.  Living here, I so understood and so agreed.  How true!  There are no answers to the mysteries, the dilemmas, the questions here.  They remain for us and we keep struggling on. 

So I was able to face my week with a new mindset and a much healthier one for living and working here.  Somehow or other my dilemma at the workplace was faced by all of us together.  Maybe it has not been faced as I would choose or in the best way.  I see difficulties remaining and some underlying issues not tackled.  Still it has been faced and is has been faced as they would do it here.  

I don't know if this makes sense.  It does to me who is caught up in here.  I have my ways but they are not their ways and here I am.  For efforts to succeed, one must work with who and what is here.  It is not a matter of what or who is better or even right but what works and gives a way forward, while always maintaining your focus and integrity.  The latter always remain before me and remain my personal challenges and quest. 

I am a guest in someone else's home.  I am a welcome guest but still a guest in Thailand.  That is the nature of mission.  I agree that there are no answers so much of the time for so much of what is faced and so I continue to struggle along and work for good ministry and good order. 

There is just a lack of answers for guiding the daily path.