They never get angry

A documentary by Joshua Oppenheimer  

This week I was introduced through an Aljazeera interview to Joshua Oppenheimer, a maker of documentary films.  I heard him and I was utterly drawn to him, finding him both daring and insightful.  He was speaking out of his investing ten years of his life documenting Indonesia's 1965 military killings of some one million so called communists.  This had become for him a life focus for he saw here a story that needed to be told.  He saw a story of one of the great unknown crimes against humanity in modern history.  He saw a story that remains current 50 years later in Indonesia for no one has ever been held accountable for what was done so that today you have perpetrators living within the community beside families of victims.  He saw a story that speaks to a world wherein humanity can be so ruthless.  Yet it comes from an Asian country where everyone is gentle and dignified and never ruthless.

Is that so?

This week I have had to deal with a situation in the workplace where an adult Thai expressed to me his great and deep anger.  They never get angry?  That is not so and it is unfair to think that they don't.  They are human after all.  If anger is not expressed or resolved it stays with you and runs the danger of being expressed in ruthless ways.

And yes, his anger arose out of his feeling having been under a ruthless attack at the hands of another staff member, his junior.  As he described what happened, one could think that it was only small matters but for him not so.  They were huge matters for him of being affronted and shown no respect within his Thai culture.  For him, the ruthlessness of another, as he experienced it, caused him great hurt and anger.

Still I do not know the whole story or what may really be going on.  In the midst of outward beauty and gracefulness, there lie anger and hurt accompanied by a ruthlessness that we are all capable of and that I can see here being acted out by one against another in our workplace even if they do not realize it or are doing it ever so subtly. The human beast can be cruel, even if ever sublimely so. 

In a culture, where conflict is avoided and people are not allowed to get angry, what happens?  Anger does not go away.  People do not stop being human.  The dignified, graceful face may remain intact but underneath there is a raging volcano wanting to explode into ruthless behavior.

I see the connection here between my two events of the week.  Bad behavior does occur and people are ruthless to each other, no matter what the face may present.  All is never what it seems.  I keep hitting that line in my being here.

Today's Way of the Cross

The shops and the commercialization;

Via Dolorosa, Old Jerusalem

the guns and knives;
the poverty and oppression;
the cars going along the narrow lanes;
the division among the Christian Churches 
- these were what I named as aspects of today's Way of the Cross as I walked the Via Dolorosa within the walls of Old Jerusalem only last October.

It struck me how the way was narrow, windy and not so long.  Still it is not the city of Jesus' time but the city built over history after its destruction by the Romans.  Who knows what it was like then?  Still you know that this was where it happened and you get the feel for what happened at the time and who was there. 

Jesus' Way of the Cross was real.
 So is ours but in different and more contemporary ways.     

Happy St Patrick's Day!

Happy St Patrick's Day!  That was the message that first greeted my day this Thursday.  It came from my Irish friend and colleague of some years who is now living in Cambodia. 

I live in a Church and country very different from my own.  I do not know any Thai Catholics who would appreciate the importance of St Patrick's Day and all that goes with it for people raised in a Church and culture so strongly influenced by the Irish.  Nor would I expect them to appreciate the importance of the Irish connection and influence for a people and Church far from their own sphere of influence.  Still we are all part of the same universal Church, while coming from many different cultures and heritages.  This is the beauty of the Church. 

Tradition or legend gives St Patrick the honour of being the sole person responsible for the conversion of Ireland all way back then.  What I like about the story is the simplicity shown in his teaching.  Legend has it that he took the three leafed shamrock and used it as a symbol to teach the people about

the Trinity.  Brilliant! 

In the same week as St Patrick's Day when we remember a skilled and committed missionary devoted to a new land, the Thai Church had its annual reception to honour another great man of the Church, Pope Francis.  They do it with great pomp and circumstance here, going to a five star hotel to show off the institutuion triumphant to Thailand.  This is true Thai style.  This is a totally different way and not the way of a simple and true missionary spirit like St Patrick who was able to reinvigorate a land and its people.   

As I remember Pope Francis this week with all the grand celebrations around in honour of him, I have just sat with his challenge to us - Be the Church of the poor for the poor.  

My age old question

After writing my entry last week, I got thinking.  Was the challenge given to me a timely reminder?  Or was it a power play by a staff member because I am niot paying enough attention to him?  Or was it ....?  I guess who knows and really who cares.  I don't want to become paranoid over it but it does become a good point for reflection. 

In a place like Thailand, you are living in the "Land of the Other Agenda".  When an issue arises, there is always something else at play which is not being presented and it is that that is most important in dealing with what is at hand. 

This fits in with its being the "Land of non-Confrontation".  They just do not want confrontation, always steering away from it.  Those who are willing to face issues head on are generally the more highly educated and sophisticated.  Note, not necessarily the more wealthy. 

What a great personality!

Thais just are not direct.  They do get angry but repress it or divert it.  If my staff member is being direct with me in challenging me, then it is a success story for he knows me well enough and feels comfortable enough with me to talk directly and honestly with me.  That is a real achievement. 

It is about coming out of oneself and letting the world know you are here.  That is difficult for Thais and others.  Their continually standing back has real drawbacks as it means they can be easily stood on and over and that is not right.  So maybe part of having ones like me around is that it helps the locals to come out and tell the world - I am here!  If so, great stuff. 

Cool it, Murray!

Well, I got a serve this week from one of my staff but it was a welcome and productive serve, or so I judge.

To paint the picture, my most challenging role in my being here is being a manager or a boss of a Caritas Thailand unit that works with migrant populations in Thailand.  I know I can organize and communicate, I can write up reports and assessments, I can research and learn.  I can do all that but the role with its responsibility takes a lot out of me and this is because of how I assume responsibility which I can take far too seriously. I should listen to my own advice - just do your best and let God do the rest.

Why I accept this role is that I value the good efforts of the Thai Church in helping migrant populations in their country and what I do in my leadership role supports this good work to continue.

In this same role, I deal with a Thai bishop, my boss, and with Thai and Burmese staff.  I respect all I work with.  I value the staff and do what I can to support them and look after their welfare.  In all of this, I can find myself dealing with the unknown or the mystery that is people of different cultures, backgrounds and mindsets.  Through it all, I learn so much from them.  That is what happened this week, I was given a lesson in life.

One of the senior staff under my care came to me with his complaint about me, or rather his challenge for me.  He told that I was no longer listening like I used to.  I bit my tongue and just listened for sure.  I am thinking - Hey, I am working hard here.  BUT!!

What he had to share with me challenged me to see that I am allowing my sense of responsibility to overtake me even for the overall good of the task.  As I would say to others, I need to say to myself - Cool it, Murray!  Too much of my focus has become a focus on work, on what I do and I need to focus more on who I am.

I was very happy that someone from a culture where they are not encouraged to be outwardly assertive or speak up was able to speak so directly and honestly with me.  That on its own is a bit of a victory in who I am here.  Moreover, I am grateful for a timely challenge and realize that it is time to take that time out so as to be effective while on the job.  Time by that quiet pool is productive and important time.  Life is not about just doing but more importantly about being.