Cool it, Murray!

Well, I got a serve this week from one of my staff but it was a welcome and productive serve, or so I judge.

To paint the picture, my most challenging role in my being here is being a manager or a boss of a Caritas Thailand unit that works with migrant populations in Thailand.  I know I can organize and communicate, I can write up reports and assessments, I can research and learn.  I can do all that but the role with its responsibility takes a lot out of me and this is because of how I assume responsibility which I can take far too seriously. I should listen to my own advice - just do your best and let God do the rest.

Why I accept this role is that I value the good efforts of the Thai Church in helping migrant populations in their country and what I do in my leadership role supports this good work to continue.

In this same role, I deal with a Thai bishop, my boss, and with Thai and Burmese staff.  I respect all I work with.  I value the staff and do what I can to support them and look after their welfare.  In all of this, I can find myself dealing with the unknown or the mystery that is people of different cultures, backgrounds and mindsets.  Through it all, I learn so much from them.  That is what happened this week, I was given a lesson in life.

One of the senior staff under my care came to me with his complaint about me, or rather his challenge for me.  He told that I was no longer listening like I used to.  I bit my tongue and just listened for sure.  I am thinking - Hey, I am working hard here.  BUT!!

What he had to share with me challenged me to see that I am allowing my sense of responsibility to overtake me even for the overall good of the task.  As I would say to others, I need to say to myself - Cool it, Murray!  Too much of my focus has become a focus on work, on what I do and I need to focus more on who I am.

I was very happy that someone from a culture where they are not encouraged to be outwardly assertive or speak up was able to speak so directly and honestly with me.  That on its own is a bit of a victory in who I am here.  Moreover, I am grateful for a timely challenge and realize that it is time to take that time out so as to be effective while on the job.  Time by that quiet pool is productive and important time.  Life is not about just doing but more importantly about being.