Reset, not Pause

"No, I am not angry".  So I told myself on this blog back in October after being offended by someone's misguided comments on me to others.  Then a month ago, I got angry with that person and you know what?  I was wrong back in October.  I was angry.  

Looking back, I was spiritualising my anger, rather than owning it and acting on it.  So it stayed with me.  Spirituality matters but spirituality is not an escape.  Rather it is a key element to living life in the midst of our reality.  Anger is part of life and who we are.  It is neither good nor bad.  It is what we do with it that matters.  Yes, it is a strong emotion and it can be frightening for we know what it may make us do.  Therein is the challenge. 

Anger serves a good purpose in life.  It is a force for change, for working for the better, for facing the hard facts of life.  As  St Thomas Aquinas says, anger "is passion that moves the will to justice".  

So in the natural course of events, one day last month, I unexpectedly let my guard down and shared an honest truth with the right person.  In sharing strong, but honest, words over hurtful behaviour, this led to talk that dealt with the issue at hand.  Not easy but so I dealt with my anger.  I was never angry?  Really?  Well, now I am not.  The anger is gone.  The issue is dealt with.  I feel relaxed and calm again with the person and move on.  

Truth is we all need a place to cry and not just smile; to be honest and not just nice; to express our anger and not just laugh.   This place is possible, it is real but it comes at a cost. It is about doing the hard work to face the challenges of everyday life in ways that are real, ways that work and ways that show respect to all.  Reset, not pause.  

So tranquil, so beautiful; but so cold.  Everything at a cost.

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