Be flexible

Today I am talking with someone who arrived yesterday from Australia to do some work with the refugees.  We had a set timetable for his work here but I discovered only in talking now with him that we did not share the same understanding.  He thought that he was to work this afternoon, tomorrow and Sunday, and was asking about coming this afternoon.  I have other plans laid and my whole weekend is busy anyway with the shared task we have in hand.  Beside I had already told him by email that today was not possible and that the available days were Saturday and Sunday.  So what's going on? 

This led to my entering into an assertive discussion led by me on how we cannot assume anything as that enters into trouble and that our basic communication is amiss.  As I was talking, I was thinking this is an over the top response by me.  Just make my point and get on with it.  His response was that we just need to be flexible.  I always say that there has to be Plan B.  So, yes, be felxible. 

So what was the root of my strong response?  Was it that I am a busy man and here is someone altering my plans and making another demand on me that I can't cope with?  Was it that I like everything planned and don't deal with last minute changes?  Was it that I am a perfectionist and that I don't cope with any imperfection?  We can leave the reasoning to the side. 

I suspect it is coming out of my general stance toward life as I start the year in new work roles that make more demands on me and increase the pressure, while also recognising my central and personal need to engage in unravelling the mystery of my life as I face the next stage in life.  This is all a big ask and takes its toll.  So one maybe becomes more tender, more vulnerable while caught up in all of this and just does not cope as well with the sudden demand or change.  I see that I am prepared for the big ask, the big change of the day but not for the small one which catches you out by surprise and you have to deal with on the spot.  They say that it is the small things that become all important in life. 

If all this is so, then I need to be flexible more than ever.  My chosen stance to life is that I can't do everything nor can I make things perfect or be the solution for everyone else but I will do what I can and that is all I can do.  I then apply this to my year as it begins and my quest to unravel the mystery.  I can't plan this quest and I can't control it.  So the best advice comes from my colleague today - be flexible AND especially in the small challenges and demands.