No, I don't have to help

On reflecting further after my last entry on my week that has been, I recognise Wednesday as its turning point for me.  On that day, I was at the Bangkok Refugee Center (BRC) and I had a number of refugee cases coming to see me, all with the same line which was that I had to help them.  Well, that may be their line but is this my role and is it even possible? 

The latter question can be answered easily.  No, it is not possible to meet everyone's needs in this work as there just aren't the resources to give them what they demand.  The former question re my role presents a more complex issue as it revolves around a philosophical approach that I hold for my role.  Basically, my role is to help this population.  It is not to respond to their every need as presented and is not to solve their life issues.  This is not just about what is possible but about what is a good philosophy in helping others.  An example from Wednesday may help. 

A Pakistani family that I had never seen before presented themselves in my office unannounced.  Their basic line was to present their story of incredibly dreadful persecution of their family in Pakistan at the hands of extremist Muslims from which they had to flee.  They then proceeded to profess their Catholicism and commitment to the Church which led to their proclaiming that, as a Catholic priest, I had to help them, Catholics, and as they demanded.  My immediate response was - I know my role and, no, I don't have to help. 

I don't help people just because they are Catholic.  I help all, no matter their religion.  Any determination of help that can be given is made on the basis of level of need and vulnerability and what is possible with available resources.  I can't just help people on the basis of their presenting at my office with their tragic story.  The truth is you hear one tragedy and then the next family comes and their case is even more tragic. So what do you do?  My monthly budget can't meet all the demands made on it and is not simply there for ones who come to my office.  In this ministry, I have to act wisely and make tough decisions.  So help, and help as they demanded, was not possible for me to offer. 

Further to this, I can't just give solutions to people's problems.  That is neither possible nor healthy for me or them.  I am there to help and not to give solutions to everyone.  This was part of their demand - give us what we ask and we will be okay.  To go down this path is to make me into a magician or an ATM and the question is - where do you get such resources from to fulfill every case?  It is just not sustainable.  Nor is it healthy as people have to be part of their own solution and become dependent, no matter how desperate the situation.  This is about upholding dignity and respect for those presently so desperately in their need.  This is my philosophical stance. 

On a personal note, Wednesday took its toll.  On the basis of a philosophical stance in helping people, of using criteria in judging if to help at this time and of available resources, I made a decision which was not to help this family.  Still it was hard to do and the task of Wednesday in dealing with demanding cases was part of what made my week tiring and led to my becoming irritable at its end. 

On Friday, I was back at BRC and a member of staff approached me yet again about an issue.  I finally asked her to stand back as I did not want to get involved in gossip and would only get involved if we could act positively on the situation.  I realised that this member of staff, who so often approaches me when things go wrong, is a rescuer of others.  What I saw in her tells me a lot about my Wednesday.  I can't be a rescuer.  People have to be helped to act for themselves.  Money is needed for food and rent, that is for sure.  Still that is not the whole story and what is needed is much more than such a simple interpretation of how to help. People's dignity and respect are at stake and people still have to remain as far as able to act for themselves and not just hand their issues over to another to solve.  Not the way to go for anyone concerned!